unwed mother father of child wants child to have his name

[nextwife]

Mom gets to pick the first name, why SHOULDN'T dad get to have some input on the last name?

Dad should just shut up and be a wallet and let mom call ALL the shots because she has a uterus?

 

[mommyof4]

Mom gets to pick the first name, why SHOULDN'T dad get to have some input on the last name?

Dad should just shut up and be a wallet and let mom call ALL the shots because she has a uterus?

You think Moms ALWAYS pick the first name?

And why is Dad's last name so much more important and meaningful than Mom's? Why can't MOM'S family name be carried on?

 

[Isis1]

You think Moms ALWAYS pick the first name?

And why is Dad's last name so much more important and meaningful than Mom's? Why can't MOM'S family name be carried on?

my oldest, was named on a spur of the moment because his dad and i could not agree on anything. i agreed to the middle name after i think was his grandfather ( i don't even remember any more) but he has my last name hypenated with his dad's last name. the second one, was named after my grandfather with dad's middle name.

the two younger ones....dad picked the boy's name, i agreed to it, the girl, named after his mother but i got her middle name. neither of those two has my last name.

personally, i don't like the father of the first two's last name cuz it's common. like smith, or garcia. my last name, not so common.

good god, OP. stop peeing on the child!!!

 

[Zigner]

I am sorry but you guys with your testosterone fueled egos need to give up the "the kid is going to get my name no matter how difficult it makes it for the kid"

With all due respect: This statement (aside from the "testosterone fueled" part) applies equally to women.

 

[justalayman]

With all due respect: This statement (aside from the "testosterone fueled" part) applies equally to women.

yes but since the child is gently sliding from their nether regions and dad has not taken the required action (marriage) that would give him a legal say so concerning the name as well as the fact the child is not the fathers child until such time as the courts make that determination, I believe the only legal parent at the time of birth should have the absolute right to name the child as they wish.


boy, isn't this an odd thread. Here, me, a guy, is arguing against the typical guy position and then at least one female arguing against the typical female position.

nextwife

Dad should just shut up and be a wallet and let mom call ALL the shots because she has a uterus?

Yep, dad should just learn his place early on in the relationship




just kidding.

dad doesn't get to pick the name because he is not legally entitled to enter any information on the birth certificate until such time he is proven to be the father. By then, it's all filled out.



sorry, he needs to make the commitment sooner or accept he does not have the same rights as a married man.

 

[Proserpina]

Carrying Dad's name says nothing about the child's intelligence. The word you are looking for is "progeny".

(quietly snickering in the background - good catch )

 

[bridgemom]

Just want to add...

I did change my daughters last name from her fathers to mine when she was 11 months old. Why? My personal reasons as followed...

1. My daughters father and I were engaged until she was 6 months old. I was assuming I would eventually be changing my last name to match hers and his. When we split up he was completely uninvolved in her life.

2. I have 3 other children with my ex husbands last name. In the household then there were their last name, my last name, and my youngests last name. It was easier now and in the future to have hers match mine, especially since she was too young to know hers there wasn't a transition.

3. My youngest is mixed race. I was continually asked if she was adopted and her having a different last name didn't help.

Now, for the dad who want the name hyphenated I want to let you know why the judge decided it was in my daughters best interest to change her name to mine so that it may help in your case...

She noted that there was no order for visitation, daughter has always lived with mother, couple never married, the dad hadn't been paying child support and family appearance ( I'm not sure if daughter and I looked like family, or that it was because my mom and friend testified on my behalf and he did not-so make sure you bring someone!)

The judge did ask if I wanted the name hyphenated. You can never be sure but it seems like the judge ruled in my favor because he was uninvolved. File as soon as you can because I think chances of changing it become slimmer as the child is accustomed to their last name.

 

[Proserpina]

Just want to add...

I did change my daughters last name from her fathers to mine when she was 11 months old. Why? My personal reasons as followed...

1. My daughters father and I were engaged until she was 6 months old. I was assuming I would eventually be changing my last name to match hers and his. When we split up he was completely uninvolved in her life.

2. I have 3 other children with my ex husbands last name. In the household then there were their last name, my last name, and my youngests last name. It was easier now and in the future to have hers match mine, especially since she was too young to know hers there wasn't a transition.

3. My youngest is mixed race. I was continually asked if she was adopted and her having a different last name didn't help.

Now, for the dad who want the name hyphenated I want to let you know why the judge decided it was in my daughters best interest to change her name to mine so that it may help in your case...

She noted that there was no order for visitation, daughter has always lived with mother, couple never married, the dad hadn't been paying child support and family appearance ( I'm not sure if daughter and I looked like family, or that it was because my mom and friend testified on my behalf and he did not-so make sure you bring someone!)

The judge did ask if I wanted the name hyphenated. You can never be sure but it seems like the judge ruled in my favor because he was uninvolved. File as soon as you can because I think chances of changing it become slimmer as the child is accustomed to their last name.

What?!

There is no child yet in OP's case - and further, Dad has clearly indicated that he DOES want to be involved, and have visitation.

Your case is ENTIRELY different. Not even close.

 

[justalayman]

Quote:
Originally Posted by stealth2
Carrying Dad's name says nothing about the child's intelligence. The word you are looking for is "progeny".

(quietly snickering in the background - good catch )

__________________

Yes, you are correct. I was thinking of my children

 

[proud_parent]

Yes, you are correct. I was thinking of my children

Now that was a clever comeback.

 

[bridgemom]

What?!

There is no child yet in OP's case - and further, Dad has clearly indicated that he DOES want to be involved, and have visitation.

Your case is ENTIRELY different. Not even close.

I know, I thought her questions were pretty much answered. Bit of a threadjack on my part...

My answer was more related to why change the name and why shouldn't the dads last name be included.

But moreover, I was trying to help the dad who wanted the name hyphenated. Should have pm'd instead. I apologize and can see where the op would get confused by my post.

 

[Proserpina]

I know, I thought her questions were pretty much answered. Bit of a threadjack on my part...

My answer was more related to why change the name and why shouldn't the dads last name be included.

But moreover, I was trying to help the dad who wanted the name hyphenated. Should have pm'd instead. I apologize and can see where the op would get confused by my post.

No harm done - and thank you for apologizing with such grace

 

[padmelupin]

I believe the only legal parent at the time of birth should have the absolute right to name the child as they wish.

I know my SS had his mother's last name at birth, even though she and my husband were married at the time. In the divorce, it was hyphenated. I always thought that was odd, because my husband wanted his son to have his last name.

Maybe it's an Arizona thing?

 

[Isis1]

I know my SS had his mother's last name at birth, even though she and my husband were married at the time. In the divorce, it was hyphenated. I always thought that was odd, because my husband wanted his son to have his last name.

Maybe it's an Arizona thing?

that would depend on the circumstance. i filled out all the info at all four births. i could have named all four children, chocolate cupcake banana, if i wanted to.

dad may have requested the hyphen at the divorce.

 

[Proserpina]

that would depend on the circumstance. i filled out all the info at all four births. i could have named all four children, chocolate cupcake banana, if i wanted to.

dad may have requested the hyphen at the divorce.

Had I known you then, and you'd done that..I would have smacked you upside the head

But wouldn't it have been Chocolate CupCake Banana I, II, III and IV?