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Who Should Be Responsible?

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GranSuz

Junior Member
Arkansas. We enrolled our son into elementary school, filled out paperwork of who could pick him up, and had left copies of our custody orders during the previous years of enrollment. Aug. 2010, The non custodial Father (that Defaulted by not showing up for court in 2004), and his new wife, went to the school at noon and told the Principal he had got custody that morning, and was picking our Son up to enroll him in a private school.
She let him withdraw him and take him with them. She did not attempt to call us or the police to see if this was true. He gave her a document that said "Notice of Dismissal" on it, with his name written in and the County Court Coordinator's signature. (No Judge's signature.) The Father's previous Boss called us to tell us what he was doing. We Called the school, held for the Principal and when we asked what was going on, she would only tell us,
We needed to talk to the Father. We left work, got our Custody Orders, and went to the school. She met me at her door, apoligizing and saying how upset she was, and that she didn't know what the paper was that the Father had given her, but they were both very nice and seemed honest. I told her He had lied to her and I had no idea what the document was either, but we had not been contacted or notified of any custody modifactions or anything. The court Coordinator that sighed the document used to be his old girlfriend that drove all his nice cars when he was in the car business. His name shouldn't even be on any of our custody case files because he had defaulted. She wrote his name on the paper. I asked why didn't she think she needed to call us, we enrolled him and she knew it. She said she called the county clerk and was told that the Biological Father could take the son.
 
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GranSuz

Junior Member
My husband and me. After going to the Co. Sheriff's Dept. and Ark. and Tx. Police Departments, with custody papers, and each telling us to go to the other, the 3rd day, We went to the Attorney, that we had previously, paid a substantial retainer, and they filed paperwork for the county Sheriff to pick our Son up.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
So this is your GRANDson you're talking about, yes? Your SON is an adult. And the father of said GRANDson.

What is your current legal status - and Dad's?
 

GranSuz

Junior Member
Yes. We (Grandparents) intervened in 2004 when our Grandson's Mother got out of Jail after 18 mo. and was filing for custody from our Grandson's Father (Our Son) that received sole custody when the Mother went to jail. The Father (our son) told us he wasn't going to court. He thought he had a warrant and wasn't going to risk going to jail. We hired an Attorney and intervened, getting joint custody with Mother. She getting graduated visitation (so our Grandson could get to know her) and us having residing custody. The Father (our Son) didn't show up for court, so the Judge ordered him Defaulted. This has all been pretty confusing.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
My husband and me. After going to the Co. Sheriff's Dept. and Ark. and Tx. Police Departments, with custody papers, and each telling us to go to the other, the 3rd day, We went to the Attorney, that we had previously, paid a substantial retainer, and they filed paperwork for the county Sheriff to pick our Son up.
So you got the child back? Is that what you are saying?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Yes. We (Grandparents) intervened in 2004 when our Grandson's Mother got out of Jail after 18 mo. and was filing for custody from our Grandson's Father (Our Son) that received sole custody when the Mother went to jail. The Father (our son) told us he wasn't going to court. He thought he had a warrant and wasn't going to risk going to jail. We hired an Attorney and intervened, getting joint custody with Mother. She getting graduated visitation (so our Grandson could get to know her) and us having residing custody. The Father (our Son) didn't show up for court, so the Judge ordered him Defaulted. This has all been pretty confusing.
So for everyone's clarity (including your own), the child you are talking about - you have custody, but he is NOT your son.

So... what sort of time does Dad get with his son?
 

GranSuz

Junior Member
Yes, after the 3rd day, The Judge signed a writ and the Sheriff's Deputy's went to his house and got our Grandson. We got him back in school the 4th day.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
So what is the point of this thread? You didn't even ask a question.
The title of the thread is "who should be responsible?" I assume that's the question.

Well, there are a number of people who are guilty of something. OP could file for contempt against Dad - and ask for various sanctions - up to perhaps supervised visitation and possibly even termination of parental rights.

The school messed up. If Dad's name was not on the enrollment documents, they should have never released the child to him. I don't have any idea what sort of penalties would be appropriate, but if it were me and the school officials were sorry and I felt that they had really learned a lesson, then I might not do anything. Or I might ask them to pay the legal expenses involved in straightening out the mess they caused.

And OP is responsible for lying on this forum. OP started out by saying that the child was his son. If you want useful advice, you need to state the facts accurately and completely. Lying is likely to get you bad advice.
 

CJane

Senior Member
The school messed up. If Dad's name was not on the enrollment documents, they should have never released the child to him. I don't have any idea what sort of penalties would be appropriate, but if it were me and the school officials were sorry and I felt that they had really learned a lesson, then I might not do anything. Or I might ask them to pay the legal expenses involved in straightening out the mess they caused.
I'm not sure that's true. If this is the legal father of the child, regardless of his custody status and barring a restraining order barring him from contact with the child, it's highly unlikely that the school would prevent him from taking the child with him.

Transferring records, yes. But physically taking kiddo for the day? Not likely. It's not their job to enforce court orders - we certainly tell posters that often enough.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
And if there was a conflict of interest issue with the Court Coordinator, that should have been raised at the time. Nor do I believe that Dad's name should not have been on the court order at all - even if he defaulted.

The back story is interesting, and bears reading. They've allowed Dad significant time with the child, from what I can tell. At least they did at that time.
 

CJane

Senior Member
And if there was a conflict of interest issue with the Court Coordinator, that should have been raised at the time. Nor do I believe that Dad's name should not have been on the court order at all - even if he defaulted.

The back story is interesting, and bears reading. They've allowed Dad significant time with the child, from what I can tell. At least they did at that time.
I tried to read the back story, I really did. But my lack-of-grammar tolerance is VERY low today.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
It depends on what you want to accomplish.

I wouldn't want to sue anyone - but I would not want a repeat of what you went through.

Previous posters have given advice on finding the father in contempt. But, in addition:

(1) Report the Principal to the Superintendent of Schools (or whatever the head of the school district is called in your area). If the Principal was following current district policy, then the policy might need tweaking. This is not just about you, but all the other people with children enrolled in the school district. Most teachers are aware that there are unusual family situations out there. Considering that school administrators (at least in my area) are paid obscene amounts, so I think that they should be held to a higher standard.

(2) Report the person whose signature on the "Notice of Dismissal" document to her superiors. Especially if letterheads/paper from the actual court were used. Employment in such positions frequently have ethics clauses.
 

CJane

Senior Member
It depends on what you want to accomplish.

I wouldn't want to sue anyone - but I would not want a repeat of what you went through.

Previous posters have given advice on finding the father in contempt. But, in addition:
Contempt of what, exactly? OP seems to think Dad shouldn't even be named in the court orders - which means they don't apply to him.

Also, this apparently happened in August. SEVEN MONTHS ago. One wonders why Grandma/Grandpa is JUST NOW wondering who's responsible for the child missing 3 days of school and coming to no harm.
 

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