Quick question

[TJNJmom]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

I just have a question.

If a child has ADHD and they are on medication for it and definitely NEED the medication to function properly and the NCP doesn't give the child the meds while this child is at visits, can I bring this up and court and can they do anything about this? I know they can't force him to give my daughter her meds obviously but is there something that can be done. Once she is off of her meds for a day it takes a day or 2 to get her back to normal back on her meds as it messes with her levels.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

I just have a question.

If a child has ADHD and they are on medication for it and definitely NEED the medication to function properly and the NCP doesn't give the child the meds while this child is at visits, can I bring this up and court and can they do anything about this? I know they can't force him to give my daughter her meds obviously but is there something that can be done. Once she is off of her meds for a day it takes a day or 2 to get her back to normal back on her meds as it messes with her levels.

You absolutely can. It really depends on what your end game is as to what the court would do about it.
Can you prove your claim?

What are you hoping to accomplish? Changing the custody situation?

 

[TJNJmom]

Blue I don't know that's why I am asking what can be done. He doesn't give her the meds at all. I give them to him and he saves it. She comes home bouncing off the walls and rebounds very badly. She's very difficult to handle and violent off of her meds and he doesn't really see that part because by the time I pick her up from him she hasn't really started up like that yet. It's frustrating because on mothers day I sat in my room crying because I had a child that was completely out of control and this is the 4th time in a row. I ask if she has taken her meds and she says Daddy forgot to give it to me. Does anyone know what they would do or what I could ask them to do? I just want her to be on her meds properly.

 

[BL]

Blue I don't know that's why I am asking what can be done. He doesn't give her the meds at all. I give them to him and he saves it. She comes home bouncing off the walls and rebounds very badly. She's very difficult to handle and violent off of her meds and he doesn't really see that part because by the time I pick her up from him she hasn't really started up like that yet. It's frustrating because on mothers day I sat in my room crying because I had a child that was completely out of control and this is the 4th time in a row. I ask if she has taken her meds and she says Daddy forgot to give it to me. Does anyone know what they would do or what I could ask them to do? I just want her to be on her meds properly.

Get the school councilors and outside therapist involved .When you go back to court for ALL your other issues request a GAL be appointed .Get your lawyer involved ,and in the end the court will decide .

 

[CSO286]

Blue I don't know that's why I am asking what can be done. He doesn't give her the meds at all. I give them to him and he saves it. She comes home bouncing off the walls and rebounds very badly. She's very difficult to handle and violent off of her meds and he doesn't really see that part because by the time I pick her up from him she hasn't really started up like that yet. It's frustrating because on mothers day I sat in my room crying because I had a child that was completely out of control and this is the 4th time in a row. I ask if she has taken her meds and she says Daddy forgot to give it to me. Does anyone know what they would do or what I could ask them to do? I just want her to be on her meds properly.

If Dad is not willing to give the child her meds, what do you want to happen?
How old is the child?

 

[TJNJmom]

If Dad is not willing to give the child her meds, what do you want to happen?
How old is the child?

She is 10. I just want him to give her the meds or to not take her for extended visits if he can't handle giving them to her. I have sat and cried over her behavior she is violent and nasty and bounces off walls when not on the meds

 

[Ohiogal]

She is 10. I just want him to give her the meds or to not take her for extended visits if he can't handle giving them to her. I have sat and cried over her behavior she is violent and nasty and bounces off walls when not on the meds

At 10 she should be able to remember that she has to take her meds if she is of average intelligence. And are you sure she is ADHD? Or does she also have ODD?

 

[CSO286]

At 10 she should be able to remember that she has to take her meds if she is of average intelligence. And are you sure she is ADHD? Or does she also have ODD?

How long hasthe child been required to to be on the meds? How long are these extended visits with Dad?

I know many ten year-olds who can remember to take their meds, their vitamins, put in thier contacts and be on thier way.

If you gave the Little Miss her meds in a travel dispenser (one of those s-m-t-w-t-f-s jobbies) could you call her/txt her to remind her to take them on her own?

 

[CJane]

How long hasthe child been required to to be on the meds? How long are these extended visits with Dad?

I know many ten year-olds who can remember to take their meds, their vitamins, put in thier contacts and be on thier way.

If you gave the Little Miss her meds in a travel dispenser (one of those s-m-t-w-t-f-s jobbies) could you call her/txt her to remind her to take them on her own?

This is when it comes down to whether Dad is not giving the meds or preventing kiddo from taking the meds.

I know, if I sent meds with my kids to their Dad's house, he would absolutely confiscate them and dispense them, or not, as he felt was appropriate. If THAT is what is happening, it's not about whether kiddo is responsible enough or old enough to take the meds w/out a reminder.

However, I'm as curious as you about the diagnosis/treatment. I thought that with ADHD meds, a 'vacation' from the meds occasionally was recommended. Child's behavior probably 'should' not be devolving as OP is suggesting after just a couple of days w/out meds.

 

[TJNJmom]

She has been diagnosed by a psychiatrist, child study team, and the pediatrician after extensive testing. I don't know how much you know about children with ADHD but remembering to do things is a huge problem that they have so we have constant issues with her leaving things and forgetting things because their mind works a little faster than they do. So with that said I give him the meds I don't let her have them in her posession. She is supposed to take them every morning as they are an extended release tablet. When a child is on meds for these kinds of things and they are off their meds even just for a day they can do what is called "rebounding" which is the problem I am having.

She has been on these meds for approximately a year, I had her diagnosed last summer because she was having serious problems in school and they suggested we look further into the issues as she was not diagnosed with any learning disability after their testing. The same problems she was having in school were carrying over to the house. It used to take 3 hours to do 2 pages of homework and a lot of fighting, since on the meds it takes approximately 15-20 minutes per page which is closer to the average child of 10-15mins.

My issue with calling to remind her is that he confiscates her phone when she is there and doesn't allow me to talk to her unless he chooses to let her talk. I have called and texted for hours and that has been a seperate fight all together. He feels as though it's his time and he doesn't want to be bothered by me at all.

 

[CSO286]

This is when it comes down to whether Dad is not giving the meds or preventing kiddo from taking the meds.

I know, if I sent meds with my kids to their Dad's house, he would absolutely confiscate them and dispense them, or not, as he felt was appropriate. If THAT is what is happening, it's not about whether kiddo is responsible enough or old enough to take the meds w/out a reminder.

However, I'm as curious as you about the diagnosis/treatment. I thought that with ADHD meds, a 'vacation' from the meds occasionally was recommended. Child's behavior probably 'should' not be devolving as OP is suggesting after just a couple of days w/out meds.

I've seen docs do this with ADHD and other pyschotropic drugs. It give the provider a chance to see if as the patient ages, he/she "grows out" of the disorder or has developed his/her own coping abilities to enable them to move forward without the meds.

I am also under the (perhaps misguided) impression that ADD/ADHD and other behavioral meds tend to stay in the system for some time, even after the patient sotps taking them. If the patients have to be taking them for a 2-4 week period to build up a baseline and get to a therpeutic level in the body, then it stands to reason that the levels would not immediately drop at a couple days of missed doses....

And so CJane does raise some interesting points....How long has the child been on the meds, how much time is child spending with Dad? Is Dad preventing the child from taking meds, or just not being proactive about giving them?

ETA: Cross-posted with OP....sorry. You did answer some of my questions in your post.

 

[Zigner]

He feels as though it's his time and he doesn't want to be bothered by me at all.

On THAT point, he is right.

 

[TJNJmom]

On THAT point, he is right.

quite possibly and to be quite honest the less I personally deal with him the better but I should be allowed to speak to my child to remind her to take meds or to say goodnight. That was the reason I bought her a cell phone.

As well she's been on meds for almost a year. She has switched meds 4 times in the last year until we finally found the one that is working for her. Some children rebound from medication just after a day or coming off of the meds, and this is why we had to switch them. If she is not consistantly taking them it can cause her to rebound which is what is happening. Her extended visits are a full weekend from friday to sunday night and when she is back on sunday night she's a mess. He has never told me he will not give her the meds his excuse is he forgets he's only human but he forgets 4 out of 5 times. There is no consistancy and with an ADHD consistancy is extremely important. I say extended visits because for the last year and a half before that her visits were only one overnight every other week and just recently he was awarded full weekends.

 

[ElephantSntNose]

I have called and texted for hours

This does not help at all. Call once, text once. If she's not replying, she's not going to reply if it's once or 50 times. All you do is provide him ammunition to show the judge that you will not allow him to parent the child on his time.

 

[MichaCA]

Maybe the dad has ADD.

I didn't read you post well in terms of where you are with court. I do know courts would hear your case better if you had documentation/letter from the childs doctor(psychiatrist) as to 1. found a medication thats working 2. the importance of it being taken daily 3. possible consequences if its not taken daily - scientifically what are the symptoms.

Then your own statement outlining the behaviors you see upon return from dads, your understanding she's not getting her meds, for about how long this pattern has been going on.

I would think your request would be for the court to order dad to be responsible for making sure child takes medication as prescribed.