Separated or not?

[justseparated]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA
I have been married for 4 years and have a 3 year-old child. Last year my husband and I signed an apartment lease and were living together at the apartment. Then, I had to go out of the country for a few months. Before I left, he moved out and signed another apartment lease, just in his name. Therefore, I had to move my belongings out of the apartment since we were breaking the exisiting lease. We haven't signed any papers. Now I'm back to the country, and staying with him until I get my own place.
Were we oficially separated? Should I add my name to the current apartment lease or not?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA
I have been married for 4 years and have a 3 year-old child. Last year my husband and I signed an apartment lease and were living together at the apartment. Then, I had to go out of the country for a few months. Before I left, he moved out and signed another apartment lease, just in his name. Therefore, I had to move my belongings out of the apartment since we were breaking the exisiting lease. We haven't signed any papers. Now I'm back to the country, and staying with him until I get my own place.
Were we oficially separated? Should I add my name to the current apartment lease or not?

Probably not - to both questions.

 

[xylene]

Now I'm back to the country, and staying with him until I get my own place.

Honestly, this should take 2 or 3 days tops.

Were we oficially separated? Should I add my name to the current apartment lease or not?

Why would you go on the lease if you intend to move out in short order? That makes NO sense.

The day you get you own place, and don't return to cohabitation with your husband for 6 months... that when you can divorce no-fault.

You really need a lawyer and you really need a separation agreement.

 

[justseparated]

I absolutely agree, thanks a lot.
The problem is, first, I had to quit my job when I left the country, so unfortuntately, I can't leave until I get a new one.
Second, the reason I was thinking about getting my name on the lease, is because he was meeting women on dating web sites while I was gone and I was hoping if we were not considered separated, to make this information somewhat helpful in my divorce.
I'm probably wrong, I know.

 

[mistoffolees]

I absolutely agree, thanks a lot.
The problem is, first, I had to quit my job when I left the country, so unfortuntately, I can't leave until I get a new one.
Second, the reason I was thinking about getting my name on the lease, is because he was meeting women on dating web sites while I was gone and I was hoping if we were not considered separated, to make this information somewhat helpful in my divorce.

Putting your name on the lease wouldn't have any impact on his ability to mess around.

And you need to decide right up front - are you going to go for a no-fault divorce or are you going to try to use grounds of adultery? Frequently, trying to go for a grounds (fault) divorce will make the entire process far more expensive, painful, and time-consuming, so it's really only worth doing if there's a strong (non-emotional) reason. Plus, there's the little issue of proving adultery. Even if you can prove that he was advertising on a dating site, that doesn't prove that he committed adultery.

 

[justseparated]

That's true, I have no proof of sexual intercourses.
Your answer is very helpful and brings me to my next question: if I move out ASAP, can I count the time I was out of the country as our separation time? It's been just about 6 months since he moved into the new place. Since I'm not on this lease, does staying with him for a week or so count into living together again?

 

[xylene]

That's true, I have no proof of sexual intercourses.
Your answer is very helpful and brings me to my next question: if I move out ASAP, can I count the time I was out of the country as our separation time? It's been just about 6 months since he moved into the new place. Since I'm not on this lease, does staying with him for a week or so count into living together again?

No.

You voluntarily chose to return to cohabitation with him.

It doesn't matter if you are on the lease, although that would certainly be great proof you ARE cohabitating.

Your economic problems... well what that really means is that your husband is supporting you.

 

[justseparated]

He is at the time, but I'm also using my savings for my expences.
Another thing I forgot to mention, is that we used to live in VA (and I'm planning on moving back there), but the new place we're at the time is in MD. I'd like to get a VA divorce. Do I need to try to file for divorce in VA first, before he does in MD?

 

[mistoffolees]

He is at the time, but I'm also using my savings for my expences.
Another thing I forgot to mention, is that we used to live in VA (and I'm planning on moving back there), but the new place we're at the time is in MD. I'd like to get a VA divorce. Do I need to try to file for divorce in VA first, before he does in MD?

How long were you and he living in MD? MD requires a one year residency period unless the grounds for divorce happened in MD (it gets complicated). In addition, he may not have grounds to file for divorce in MD, at all:
Maryland Divorce Laws - Fault and No Fault Divorce Grounds, Residency Laws, Filing Information, and Waiting Period

You can only file in VA after you've lived there long enough to establish residency (6 months). If you were only out of VA for a few months, it is possible that you could move back and use the previous VA residency to file for divorce - if you haven't been anywhere else long enough to establish residency. However, if you're going for a no-fault divorce, you have to be separated for 6 months, anyway (if there are no kids - if there are kids, it's 12 months). My guess is that the easiest and cleanest option would be for you to move out, find a place in VA, and then 6 months from now, file for divorce.

 

[justseparated]

He has been living in MD for 6 months, I've only been here for 10 days and am planning on moving out as soon as I have a chance to.
We do have a child, and I wanted to move back to VA, live there for 6.5 months, and then file for divorce (using the 5.5 months I've been out of the country as part of the separation period). Does that makes sence? I don't want to wait for another year of residency in VA. Also, chances are, I won' be able to move into the same residency in VA since that was a rental, so I'll have to find another place.

 

[mistoffolees]

He has been living in MD for 6 months, I've only been here for 10 days and am planning on moving out as soon as I have a chance to.
We do have a child, and I wanted to move back to VA, live there for 6.5 months, and then file for divorce (using the 5.5 months I've been out of the country as part of the separation period). Does that makes sence? I don't want to wait for another year of residency in VA. Also, chances are, I won' be able to move into the same residency in VA since that was a rental, so I'll have to find another place.

As you've been told, you can't use the time you were out of the country as part of the separation period. You voluntarily moved back in with him when you came back to the country. But what's the hurry?

The VA residency is probably OK, but it won't matter since you have to get through the separation period.

 

[justseparated]

Thank you. There's no hurry, just, like I've said, I'd like to make sure I get a VA divorce, that's it.

 

[xylene]

Thank you. There's no hurry, just, like I've said, I'd like to make sure I get a VA divorce, that's it.

Then why are your residing legally in Maryland?

You need to move to VA - ASAP.

Added - you want a divorce. Your husband apparently is moving on sexually and he has an income stream. If you want a divorce, you need to consider that he could "cut you off at the pass."

 

[mistoffolees]

Then why are your residing legally in Maryland?

You need to move to VA - ASAP.

Added - you want a divorce. Your husband apparently is moving on sexually and he has an income stream. If you want a divorce, you need to consider that he could "cut you off at the pass."

Exactly. OP's difficulty is that neither of them could get a divorce right now.

OP could file in VA for a fault divorce, but that's time consuming and she doesn't seem to have any evidence to justify it. (She MIGHT be able to claim that she was still a VA resident, though).

OP can file in VA for a no-fault divorce, but needs to be separated for a year.

STBX can file in MD for a divorce, but he needs to be there for a year AND MD requires fault - and I don't see any that apply.

So OP needs to be able to support herself ASAP.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

STBX can file in MD for a divorce, but he needs to be there for a year AND MD requires fault - and I don't see any that apply.

.

Just want to point out that Maryland does NOT require "fault" for divorce. A 1 year separation is all you need.

BTDT...