I believe my son's father went into my house without my permission.

[ambersgrace]

Hello, I am currently in a custody/visitation battle with the father of my son, my son is 3 years old. I live in California. My son recently told me that he and his father came into my house "looking for me". My son's father knows that I was at work. He delivers my son to my house at the end of his visitation at 4pm, but they often arrive in the town my son and I reside much earlier. My son has mentioned this to me more than once and I know he is not making this story up. My son tells me in detail that they looked for me in every room but could not find me. I feel my son's father is trying to find something to incriminate me with. I have been keeping my house as clean as possible and locking my doors now. But I still feel that he should have never came into my house without permission. I have not spoken to him about it because I feel he will just deny it and it will cause more friction between us. I also don't know when exactly this happened. What rights do I have and what can I do if say he took pictures or used info from his snooping in court?

 

[Proserpina]

Hello, I am currently in a custody/visitation battle with the father of my son, my son is 3 years old. I live in California. My son recently told me that he and his father came into my house "looking for me". My son's father knows that I was at work. He delivers my son to my house at the end of his visitation at 4pm, but they often arrive in the town my son and I reside much earlier. My son has mentioned this to me more than once and I know he is not making this story up. My son tells me in detail that they looked for me in every room but could not find me. I feel my son's father is trying to find something to incriminate me with. I have been keeping my house as clean as possible and locking my doors now. But I still feel that he should have never came into my house without permission. I have not spoken to him about it because I feel he will just deny it and it will cause more friction between us. I also don't know when exactly this happened. What rights do I have and what can I do if say he took pictures or used info from his snooping in court?

Who let him in?

Your son was in someone's care - correct?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

In the rest of the world, we lock our doors. It keeps people out. We also change locks periodically and employ alarm systems. You might have a hard time proving where anything came from.

 

[mistoffolees]

Who let him in?

Your son was in someone's care - correct?

More importantly, you say 'my house'. Please fill in some specifics.

- Were you and Dad married?
- What was the ownership of the home?
- How long have you been separated?
- Did Dad live in the home with you at some point?
- Did you formally evict Dad or get a court order that he couldn't be there?

 

[!CuriousGeorge!]

Worried about a snooper huh? Well, your son let him in I assume so he had the run of the house. You can tell your son not to let him in but if he does then he is in legally. Do you have a protective order in place? Consider getting one.

Rights do u have if he took pictures? You want duplicates or something?

 

[Isis1]

Worried about a snooper huh? Well, your son let him in I assume so he had the run of the house. You can tell your son not to let him in but if he does then he is in legally. Do you have a protective order in place? Consider getting one.

Rights do u have if he took pictures? You want duplicates or something?

let's just not put the child in the middle, k?

OP, lock your doors.

 

[CJane]

In the rest of the world, we lock our doors. It keeps people out. We also change locks periodically and employ alarm systems. You might have a hard time proving where anything came from.

Paranoid much? I don't think I've ever changed a lock in my life.

 

[CJane]

Worried about a snooper huh? Well, your son let him in I assume so he had the run of the house. You can tell your son not to let him in but if he does then he is in legally. Do you have a protective order in place? Consider getting one.

Rights do u have if he took pictures? You want duplicates or something?

The child is 3. He cannot 'consent' to someone being in the home.

 

[stealth2]

Ya know... when MY son was three, he told my Mom very convincingly that "when KI am bad, Mommy and Daddy put me out of the house." Upon some probing, he told my Mom a very convincing story of how we made him walk outside, sit on the bottom step, and then we would go inside while he had to sit alone (regardless of the time) for hours at a time. It as quite the convincing story. Not a word of it had any basis in reality. Don't buy everything your 3yo is selling,

 

[Proserpina]

Ya know... when MY son was three, he told my Mom very convincingly that "when KI am bad, Mommy and Daddy put me out of the house." Upon some probing, he told my Mom a very convincing story of how we made him walk outside, sit on the bottom step, and then we would go inside while he had to sit alone (regardless of the time) for hours at a time. It as quite the convincing story. Not a word of it had any basis in reality. Don't buy everything your 3yo is selling,

But stealth, don't you realize? Every 3yo tells the absolute truth, all the time, about everything!

It's a full moon, isn't it?

 

[stealth2]

But stealth, don't you realize? Every 3yo tells the absolute truth, all the time, about everything

LOL 'Cept mine!

It's a full moon, isn't it?

Yep.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Paranoid much? I don't think I've ever changed a lock in my life.

We selectively allow people to live at our house, when they fall on hard times. After each has moved, I change the locks.

 

[Proserpina]

We selectively allow people to live at our house, when they fall on hard times. After each has moved, I change the locks.

You trust someone enough to share your home...but change the locks afterwards?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

You trust someone enough to share your home...but change the locks afterwards?

It keeps track of the keys in circulation. We have a "guest" door. Having keys laying around the county could be a temptation to someone else.

 

[sandyclaus]

Who let him in?

Your son was in someone's care - correct?

This is the question I would like to see answered.

It's highly unlikely a 3-year-old would be trusted with the keys to my home. 3-year-olds sometimes have trouble finding their shoes or toys, let alone a key that anyone else could use to get in my house.

I'm thinking that Dad MUST have a key to the house. By him having a key, that gives him access to the house pretty much whenever he wants. So having the key is OK, but actually USING it to get into the house is not?

This problem has an easy solution. Change the locks and/or take the key away from Dad. He's old enough to be able to figure out some other plan for the child if Mom isn't home yet, like taking the boy to the local park or even just sitting on the front step or in the car waiting.

And why would Dad even be snooping through the house trying to find something "incriminating" against Mom anyway? Sounds like Mom isn't telling the whole story here. What exactly is it that she is afraid he will find and use against her?