Advice Needed

[LdiJ]

How am I committing adultery when we are SEPARATED?!? I haven't been with my wife in MONTHS! She can't prove it anyway...

As long as you are not divorced, its technically adultery.

Again, can't be proven so Im not worried about it....

It is much easier to prove than you might think.

I never said my kids weren't worth the effort. I said I don't like having to go through my wife to see them. She makes it damn near impossible for me.

Get used to it. She is going to be their mother and primary custodial parent even after you get court orders.

My wife isn't getting any alimony we were married for a very short time(thank God) so she won't be getting anything but child support. Who I spend MY money on shouldn't matter in the least. I've moved on and my wife should too instead of making my life a living hell. We had no marital assets. My wife quit her job when we got married and has been a stay at home mom ever since. We kept separate everything. What she needs to do is get a job and a life and leave me & my girlfriend alone.

You are going to get totaled in court. I hope you have a VERY good attorney.

 

[Ohiogal]

As long as you are not divorced, its technically adultery.



It is much easier to prove than you might think.



Get used to it. She is going to be their mother and primary custodial parent even after you get court orders.



You are going to get totaled in court. I hope you have a VERY good attorney.

Ld, this guy is an idiot. Hopefully this Thanksgiving, he is thankful for the sex his lover is providing him because if wifey gets an attorney, he will be paying dearly for it.

 

[Nevergrowup]

I really wish the wife was around...be happy to help her. He is clueless.

So he "dated" his wife, as well as other people, when they were separated and gave up a chance to keep his family intact and his children stable when he "met his new girlfriend." Classy. Then he lowers the support he provides for his own children because girlfriend and HER children move in. You are a real gem, OP.

Forgot to add, you don't see your kids because it is too much trouble for you to deal with your WIFE, whom you chose to be the mother of your children. Your children will see that other people's children are more important to you than them, don't think that they won't. Kids aren't stupid. Why not be a real man and be a FATHER to your OWN children?

 

[Proserpina]

I really wish the wife was around...be happy to help her. He is clueless.

So he "dated" his wife, as well as other people, when they were separated and gave up a chance to keep his family intact and his children stable when he "met his new girlfriend." Classy. Then he lowers the support he provides for his own children because girlfriend and HER children move in. You are a real gem, OP.

Forgot to add, you don't see your kids because it is too much trouble for you to deal with your WIFE, whom you chose to be the mother of your children. Your children will see that other people's children are more important to you than them, don't think that they won't. Kids aren't stupid. Why not be a real man and be a FATHER to your OWN children?

The bolded is what really got me.

Isn't he just special?

 

[stealth2]

His g/f isn't much better. They're made for each other, methinks.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

I feel bad for the kids. They have to move out with Mommy and can't go back home because Daddy moved in a new family.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I'm still curious about this:

My wife isn't getting any alimony we were married for a very short time(thank God) so she won't be getting anything but child support. Who I spend MY money on shouldn't matter in the least. I've moved on and my wife should too instead of making my life a living hell. We had no marital assets. My wife quit her job when we got married and has been a stay at home mom ever since. We kept separate everything. What she needs to do is get a job and a life and leave me & my girlfriend alone.

How can you be together "for a very short time" and have kids (plural)? Are there twins or something here? Gestation usually takes about 9 months, so it's not like we're talking about a 48 hr marriage or something along those lines.

And OP, until a divorce is FINALIZED you are MARRIED. So yes, who you spend your money on matters to your WIFE.

And reducing the amount of $ so that you can support someone else's kids voluntarily - well, where's your girlfriend's kids father(s)?

 

[mistoffolees]

I'm still curious about this:



How can you be together "for a very short time" and have kids (plural)? Are there twins or something here? Gestation usually takes about 9 months, so it's not like we're talking about a 48 hr marriage or something along those lines.

And OP, until a divorce is FINALIZED you are MARRIED. So yes, who you spend your money on matters to your WIFE.

And reducing the amount of $ so that you can support someone else's kids voluntarily - well, where's your girlfriend's kids father(s)?

What OP doesn't realize is how badly he's messed things up.

First, as everyone has told him, he's not going to be able to get a reduction in CS simply because his new bedwarmer has kids and is unwilling to work. That part is simple. But let's go a bit further.

OP is still married. That means that when his wife gets around to divorcing him, all the money that he's spending on supporting his new lazy bedwarmer and her kids could well be dissipation of marital assets. So not only will he be paying child support, but he may have to reimburse his wife for the money he's squandering now.

Then, to go one step further, we don't have any idea whether alimony might be awarded because OP chose not to give the length of the marriage or the spouse's incomes, but if it's even within the realm of possibility, adultery is listed in FL statutes as being one of the factors which could affect alimony. Admittedly, the courts are struggling with how to reconcile that with 'no fault' divorce, but it's there in the statutes and if the judge is offended enough by his actions, it could be applied.

OP, you need to get your life sorted out NOW. Get the divorce - the longer you delay, the more it's going to cost you in the end. Not to mention that the way you're acting is unfair to your wife and kids.

 

[tuffbrk]

I'm guessing that Wifey has already obtained some decent legal advice. She won't file. The longer they stay married, the more she is entitled to and the length of the marriage...lengthens, thereby improving her alimony position. OP says Wifey doesn't have money but she apparently had enough money to move out.

I find it interesting that-as per OP- Wifey isn't willing to move on with her life but was willing to move out with the children. It's quite contradictory. Would love it if Wifey was around to post her side.

And OP...we all know who you are. You're the picture in the dictionary shown as an example of repugnant.

 

[Anchorsaway]

I'm still curious about this:
How can you be together "for a very short time" and have kids (plural)? Are there twins or something here? Gestation usually takes about 9 months, so it's not like we're talking about a 48 hr marriage or something along those lines.

If you actually read my previous posts you would have the answer to this question. We had a child prior to us getting married and then she got pregnant again during our 2nd yr for a total of 2.

And OP, until a divorce is FINALIZED you are MARRIED. So yes, who you spend your money on matters to your WIFE.

And reducing the amount of $ so that you can support someone else's kids voluntarily - well, where's your girlfriend's kids father(s)?

It can matter to her. It just doesn't matter to me. Its MY money. Where my gf's father is is not relevant to this forum nor is it any of your business.

 

[Anchorsaway]

What OP doesn't realize is how badly he's messed things up.

First, as everyone has told him, he's not going to be able to get a reduction in CS simply because his new bedwarmer has kids and is unwilling to work. That part is simple. But let's go a bit further.

OP is still married. That means that when his wife gets around to divorcing him, all the money that he's spending on supporting his new lazy bedwarmer and her kids could well be dissipation of marital assets. So not only will he be paying child support, but he may have to reimburse his wife for the money he's squandering now.

Then, to go one step further, we don't have any idea whether alimony might be awarded because OP chose not to give the length of the marriage or the spouse's incomes, but if it's even within the realm of possibility, adultery is listed in FL statutes as being one of the factors which could affect alimony. Admittedly, the courts are struggling with how to reconcile that with 'no fault' divorce, but it's there in the statutes and if the judge is offended enough by his actions, it could be applied.

OP, you need to get your life sorted out NOW. Get the divorce - the longer you delay, the more it's going to cost you in the end. Not to mention that the way you're acting is unfair to your wife and kids.

FINALLY a decent piece of advice. THANK YOU. I am in the process of finding a lawyer and doing that now.

 

[Ohiogal]

If you actually read my previous posts you would have the answer to this question. We had a child prior to us getting married and then she got pregnant again during our 2nd yr for a total of 2.



It can matter to her. It just doesn't matter to me. Its MY money. Where my gf's father is is not relevant to this forum nor is it any of your business.

Not according to the law and the divorce court. But keep making excuses for your adulterous affair and thinking that you have it all figured out.

 

[Anchorsaway]

I'm guessing that Wifey has already obtained some decent legal advice. She won't file. The longer they stay married, the more she is entitled to and the length of the marriage...lengthens, thereby improving her alimony position. OP says Wifey doesn't have money but she apparently had enough money to move out.

I didn't even consider that until you mentioned it. Thank you for that. Ending this tragedy ASAP is priority one for me.

I find it interesting that-as per OP- Wifey isn't willing to move on with her life but was willing to move out with the children. It's quite contradictory. Would love it if Wifey was around to post her side.

She had no choice. Its MY house NOT "OUR" house. I'll let her know to come and visit the forum.(sarcasm)

And OP...we all know who you are. You're the picture in the dictionary shown as an example of repugnant.

Ok.

 

[mistoffolees]

If you actually read my previous posts you would have the answer to this question. We had a child prior to us getting married and then she got pregnant again during our 2nd yr for a total of 2.

Which explains why we ask for everything to be kept together so the volunteers don't have to spend hours searching for posts from people who start new threads at the blink of an eye.

It can matter to her. It just doesn't matter to me. Its MY money.

Not really. It's marital money. And you are dissipating it - and could therefore be ordered to reimburse your ex for all the money you're spending on your GF and her kids.

Where my gf's father is is not relevant to this forum nor is it any of your business.

No one asked where your GF's father was. They asked where the father of your GF's kids was. And that IS relevant. He should be supporting the kids, not you. (actually, your GF should be helping, as well).

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

My ex tried to pull off what OP is planning. Under oath, she denied adultry. Cross examination questions: where do you live? My apartment. Does anyone live with you? Umm...my boyfriend. How many bedrooms in your apartment? One. Does your boyfriend share your bed...sleep in the same bedroom? Umm..yes (cue tears). Do you have sex with your boyfriend? (nonresponsive, judge directs her to answer) yes. Now, isn't that adultery?

Her credibility is impeached.