i miss my girl.

[paul-6749]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

I have a 7 year old girl. While im not her real dad iv been tacking care of her for 6 and a half years. She thinks im her real dad and i love her like i am. Me and my soon to be X wife have a 3 year old boy that i have temp custody of and she gets him every other weekend. My wife will not let me see my girl unless i let her have our boy a few nights of the work week. My lawyer told me that the only way i louse custody of my boy is if he is spending most of the time with his mom. I miss my girl so much and im sure she misses me just as much. none of this is her fault. Anyone have any advice on what i can do to see my daughter?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

I have a 7 year old girl. While im not her real dad iv been tacking care of her for 6 and a half years. She thinks im her real dad and i love her like i am. Me and my soon to be X wife have a 3 year old boy that i have temp custody of and she gets him every other weekend. My wife will not let me see my girl unless i let her have our boy a few nights of the work week. My lawyer told me that the only way i louse custody of my boy is if he is spending most of the time with his mom. I miss my girl so much and im sure she misses me just as much. none of this is her fault. Anyone have any advice on what i can do to see my daughter?

Not your girl. You have no rights to her. You should NOT have lied to the poor child. That is pathetic on your part and on mom's part. The child needs told the truth that YOU are not her father and lied to her. You can kiss up to mom big time and beg to see the child. But YOU have NO RIGHTS.

 

[paul-6749]

Wish there was something i could do. I guess i can just pray that after all this is over my wife will let me see my daughter. You may be right about telling her that im not her real dad but weather she knows that or not ill still love her like i am. Will the judge take the fact that my wife wont let us see each other into account when making his judgment in final custody of our boy?

 

[Isis1]

Wish there was something i could do. I guess i can just pray that after all this is over my wife will let me see my daughter. You may be right about telling her that im not her real dad but weather she knows that or not ill still love her like i am. Will the judge take the fact that my wife wont let us see each other into account when making his judgment in final custody of our boy?

not at all. mom is under no legal obligation to keep HER daughter in contact with a legal stranger.

and really? you love this girl so much you want her to be seperated from her brother as a punishment for mom?

 

[paul-6749]

not at all. i wish i could get both of our kids out of there the reason i have temp custody right now is that my wife has been drinking very much and getting into fist fights with our boy in her hands at her boyfriends house. the judge granted me temp custody with another hearing in a few months.

 

[stealth2]

The girl is not yours, no matter how much you love her. You and Mom did her a grave disservice, allowing her to believe you are.

Nor does Mom have to allow you to see her. That won't affect your case with the boy.

You may want to consider helping Mom pay for counseling for the little girl, to help her deal with what you have both done to her.

 

[mistoffolees]

Not your girl. You have no rights to her. You should NOT have lied to the poor child. That is pathetic on your part and on mom's part. The child needs told the truth that YOU are not her father and lied to her. You can kiss up to mom big time and beg to see the child. But YOU have NO RIGHTS.

I agree with the sentiment.

However, OP should check to see if TX recognizes de facto (psychological) parent status. If it does, he might be able to get some visitation.

However, he and Mom should tell the child the truth, anyway.

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

I have a 7 year old girl. While im not her real dad iv been tacking care of her for 6 and a half years. She thinks im her real dad and i love her like i am. Me and my soon to be X wife have a 3 year old boy that i have temp custody of and she gets him every other weekend. My wife will not let me see my girl unless i let her have our boy a few nights of the work week. My lawyer told me that the only way i louse custody of my boy is if he is spending most of the time with his mom. I miss my girl so much and im sure she misses me just as much. none of this is her fault. Anyone have any advice on what i can do to see my daughter?

Dude, your situation is an object lesson to all step-parents and parents that lie to children.

In the end, the child gets hurt. Tell me how one explains to a child that even though her sib gets to see a parent, the other doesn't. Tell me that it doesn't hurt a child to lie to them about their parentage.

 

[nextwife]

Tell me that it doesn't hurt a child to lie to them about their parentage.

Amen! Even if one is actually the LEGAL parent, it is STILL not ok to lie or misrepresent bioparentage. Children should always know the truth about whether we, who act as their parents, are their bioparent(s).

 

[Proserpina]

While Texas does recognize the rights of a third party to file for custody and visitation, it's only granted in extremely rare circumstances.

Tex. Fam. Code Ann. 102.003 (West 1996) (third parties may bring original action for custody of child);

Tex. Fam. Code Ann. 102.003 (West 1996) (allowing court to grant visitation to interested parties).

Jacobs v. Balew, 765 S.W.2d 532 (Tex. Ct. App. 1989) (stepparent does not have standing to seek custody absent another reason, such as the unfavorable environment provided by the parent).

 

[mistoffolees]

While Texas does recognize the rights of a third party to file for custody and visitation, it's only granted in extremely rare circumstances.

Tex. Fam. Code Ann. 102.003 (West 1996) (third parties may bring original action for custody of child);

Tex. Fam. Code Ann. 102.003 (West 1996) (allowing court to grant visitation to interested parties).

Jacobs v. Balew, 765 S.W.2d 532 (Tex. Ct. App. 1989) (stepparent does not have standing to seek custody absent another reason, such as the unfavorable environment provided by the parent).

Thanks. For some reason, when I googled that, I came up with a lot of useless hits and I was too lazy to go through them.

So, OP, you have a possible chance to obtain visitation rights, but it's a long shot. You should seek an attorney familiar with de facto parenting and ask their opinion.

Then you have to decide if it's worth taking your chances in the court on a long shot or trying to work something out with your stbx that would give you voluntary visitation.

But, either way, you need to tell the child the truth.

 

[Ohiogal]

I agree with the sentiment.

However, OP should check to see if TX recognizes de facto (psychological) parent status. If it does, he might be able to get some visitation.

However, he and Mom should tell the child the truth, anyway.

De facto parent deals with acting as a parent when NEITHER parent is around.

The fact that he was married to mom and is not allowed to see mom, not that he is not with mom, pretty much kills the de facto parent status.

 

[Proserpina]

OP may wish to read this:

http://www.texas-opinions.com/files/09-09-00131-CV-Nonparent-custody-order-set-aside-by-mandamus-opinion-with-dissent.html

It's the most recent one I can find.

 

[Proserpina]

De facto parent deals with acting as a parent when NEITHER parent is around.

The fact that he was married to mom and is not allowed to see mom, not that he is not with mom, pretty much kills the de facto parent status.

Just to be clear, while this appears to be true for Texas - the OP's state - it is not always true for other states (where the absence of both parents is not a requirement in order for a third party to obtain de facto status).

 

[paul-6749]

Thank you all for your info. After thinking about it i do plan to tell her im not her real dad. As hard as that will be. I still need to have a chance to talk to her first though. I hope my wife will come to terms and reason. She is using our daughter as a bargaining chip right now and its wrong. She is hurting the child to try and better her chances in court.