questions about activities on visitation time

[Zigner]

The easiest way to make sure all kids aren't disappointed is for dad to tell mom "ok" to her suggestions on this matter.

 

[ecmst12]

NCP is absolutely allowed to make whatever plans he likes for his children during his parenting time.

 

[gam]

If the derby is during the hours my husband would be at work, that is definitely an option. I'm just not sure how we can work it out if the derby is later in the day Saturday or on Sunday, then it would be a question of how to get our children to their activities on time and get him to the derby too. Or, as you suggested, if my husband and her could agree to switch weekends.

Again you share the van, drop off dad and child at that child's activities, and then you and your children go to their activities. Someone might have to sit around and wait to be picked back up, but ya do what ya got to do.

Have dad call the kids school, they might be able to tell dad who the pack leaders for his age group are. You also have dad call mom and say hey, I need this information. Also another parent might be able to tell him when the derby is, or the local paper(at least in my area they often have cub scouts, including derby's listed).

I never suggested that your husband and ex switch weekends, what I suggested was dad delay his time, since he is the one with the problems, working, one vehicle, your kids have to be at activities. He picks his kid up after he is done working on Sat and the kid has been registered for the derby. You then figure out a way to make it work on Sun if the kids derby and your children's activities conflict.

I am willing to bet mom is not going to switch weekends with dad. To mom dad is the one with the problems. She offered a way to work around it, what it is wrong with what she offered?

 

[stealth2]

Thank you. He does want to do that. He doesn't know the names of the den or pack leader or the pack number that his son is in. All his mom said is that he is a Webelo.

And his son doesn't know his Den Leader's name? Or his Pack number? Really? He could get the latter from looking at his uniform.

 

[thetiredwife]

The easiest way to make sure all kids aren't disappointed is for dad to tell mom "ok" to her suggestions on this matter.

I can understand what you're saying. But if it ends up where he cannot take him, and agrees to his mom keeping him this weekend instead- what would be the next step if she doesn't agree to switching weekends? (To note: she is in abeyance of contempt because of repeated visitation denials)

 

[thetiredwife]

Again you share the van, drop off dad and child at that child's activities, and then you and your children go to their activities. Someone might have to sit around and wait to be picked back up, but ya do what ya got to do.

Have dad call the kids school, they might be able to tell dad who the pack leaders for his age group are. You also have dad call mom and say hey, I need this information. Also another parent might be able to tell him when the derby is, or the local paper(at least in my area they often have cub scouts, including derby's listed).

I never suggested that your husband and ex switch weekends, what I suggested was dad delay his time, since he is the one with the problems, working, one vehicle, your kids have to be at activities. He picks his kid up after he is done working on Sat and the kid has been registered for the derby. You then figure out a way to make it work on Sun if the kids derby and your children's activities conflict.

I am willing to bet mom is not going to switch weekends with dad. To mom dad is the one with the problems. She offered a way to work around it, what it is wrong with what she offered?

I didn't think of that idea about checking out the papers- thanks for the tip. I don't know if it would be listed in ours (he lives in a different state since summer), but I'll let my husband know to check it out. Once we can find out when and where the derby is, we'll see (time and location-wise) how we can try to arrange everything. I apologize for the misunderstanding about switching weekends. I had meant if the derby is not taking place when he is at work, and is away with our children at that time. That would be the main reason what she offered might not work.

 

[thetiredwife]

And his son doesn't know his Den Leader's name? Or his Pack number? Really? He could get the latter from looking at his uniform.

I would think his son would know his den leader's name and/or pack number, but the fact is that he (the child) did not tell his father. And my husband has never seen him in his uniform, not even a picture. Also, he could be in a different pack now, since they moved in August.

 

[stealth2]

He could also call the district BSA office, and ask them which pack(s) would be involved in the area, and how he could find out when the Derby(ies) might be.

Seriously - this is NOT rocket science. Dad needs to get his game on. His apparent helplessness is ridiculous.

 

[SESmama]

OMG! Google Boy Scouts of America. Then look up the district. Then you can look up what would most likely be the closest Pack to either his house or school.

This definately is NOT rocket science!

Pinewood Derby is generally held on a Saturday, (usually) the third one in January. It is usually held after lunch, about 3pm.

If he is a Webelos then this is about the last year he can do the derby as about this time next year he will be getting ready to cross over into the troop.


ETA: the above dates/times apply, generally, to the pack alone. Dstrict is usually held in February. Check the BSA site.

 

[thetiredwife]

You have assumed that we did not think to look at the BSA website. That was one of the first things he did actually. As there are several different packs in the area, it is a matter of finding the correct one. Now possibly he could call or email the den leader to ask if there is a [child's name] in the den, but (as learned from experience) that doesn't mean they will volunteer that information. That is a problem my husband has ran into several times before- trying to get information from schools and doctors because she does not share it when asked, even though she is supposed to.

Anyway, our guess was that it was going to be Saturday night, which we really can't see a way to make that work. 1-3 is a friend's birthday party. The plan was to grab dinner in between and then from 5-6:30 is a team meeting for our daughter's school. My husband has to go to that and cannot be late. And without knowing where the derby is taking place at this point (before it is mentioned again, we could NOT find that out when searching local info and news), we just don't know the travel time.

So, it seems the option for none of the kids' events to get cancelled is for him to give up his weekend. I can see how mom would think it is an issue, but I am wondering why is it legally considered a "problem" if we have plans or when he is working? The order doesn't have any limitations on visitations, just that the first and third weekends, we can pick up the child Friday at 6 and she (or boyfriend or her mom) picks him back up Sunday at 6.

 

[Proserpina]

You have assumed that we did not think to look at the BSA website. That was one of the first things he did actually. As there are several different packs in the area, it is a matter of finding the correct one. Now possibly he could call or email the den leader to ask if there is a [child's name] in the den, but (as learned from experience) that doesn't mean they will volunteer that information. That is a problem my husband has ran into several times before- trying to get information from schools and doctors because she does not share it when asked, even though she is supposed to.

Does your husband understand the difference between school and medical information, and BSA/whatever information?

Or is he just listening to you?

 

[thetiredwife]

Does your husband understand the difference between school and medical information, and BSA/whatever information?

Or is he just listening to you?

Word for word, the order says that each parent is entitled to complete information from any school,doctor,extra-curricular activity,childcare provider. And that if one parent receives any paperwork from such, then they shall send a copy to the other parent.

 

[Proserpina]

Word for word, the order says that each parent is entitled to complete information from any school,doctor,extra-curricular activity,childcare provider. And that if one parent receives any paperwork from such, then they shall send a copy to the other parent.

I forget offhand - is there actually a reason he's not here himself?

 

[thetiredwife]

I forget offhand - is there actually a reason he's not here himself?

The constant attitudes drove him to decide to seek help elsewhere. And for the record, he did call the lawyer referral service and met/paid for the consult with the attorney they suggested when the trial to relocate/modify the order was held in August. However, we could not afford the fee he required. So I am here (and also searching around) to see if I can find any answers.

 

[gam]

Does the order have anything in it on activities? Is the child in a lot of activities?