Coach

[Beth3]

If my past condones his actions, then I will have to live with that.

Nobody has remotely suggested that your past relationship with the coach condones his actions. You're dealing with a bureaucracy - I expect it's going to take a while longer for school adminstration to make a decision.

 

[tranquility]

Especially if they want to make it all legal like.

 

[ecmst12]

He may be union, which means they have more hoops to jump through before they can fire him, so it will take some time. But even if he's tenured he can be fired for this, there's just more paperwork involved.

 

[nceducate]

If my past condones his actions, then I will have to live with that.

Nobody has remotely suggested that your past relationship with the coach condones his actions. You're dealing with a bureaucracy - I expect it's going to take a while longer for school adminstration to make a decision.

I understand that....I guess I was just worried that because we had a relationship prior to this, it would excuse him from saying what he said. It has been very frustrating getting answers from my administration. I appreciate everyone's responses.

 

[LdiJ]

I understand that....I guess I was just worried that because we had a relationship prior to this, it would excuse him from saying what he said. It has been very frustrating getting answers from my administration. I appreciate everyone's responses.

No, that does not excuse him. Not at all. He is a married educator who asked for sex with the parent of a student in order to allow the student to participate in something. A prior relationship a couple of years ago, when he was separated from his wife, does not excuse that.

 

[nceducate]

I was told yesterday that he has retained a lawyer and is going to get his phone records. Records will show that we talked.....about my daughter playing sports and his camp. He is according to HR trying to show that I have been harrassing him. Ive been told by HR that his attorney will meet with the schools attorney when I asked if I needed an attorney he said no. Any opinions?

 

[LdiJ]

I was told yesterday that he has retained a lawyer and is going to get his phone records. Records will show that we talked.....about my daughter playing sports and his camp. He is according to HR trying to show that I have been harrassing him. Ive been told by HR that his attorney will meet with the schools attorney when I asked if I needed an attorney he said no. Any opinions?

Of course he is going to try to defend himself. That is normal. He is in panic mode because he is going to lose his job and likely his marriage as well.

 

[Ohiogal]

The HR superintendent told me that he stated that I was contacting him as well as him contacting me but he has not given them any kind of proof. HR told me to be patient and they were going through due process. I am pretty sure he is trying to tell them he was kidding around because of our history.

You were contacting him. You were flirting with him continuously you stated up until May. It is only July. I feel sorry for the guy's wife -- not that you care about her.

 

[Ohiogal]

I was told yesterday that he has retained a lawyer and is going to get his phone records. Records will show that we talked.....about my daughter playing sports and his camp. He is according to HR trying to show that I have been harrassing him. Ive been told by HR that his attorney will meet with the schools attorney when I asked if I needed an attorney he said no. Any opinions?

According to your first post, you continued to flirt with him.

Also realize something -- if you continued to flirt with him and he leaves his wife, his wife may have a cause of action against you. Why? Google alienation of affection. You are in NC. Doesn't matter if you have the funds to pay -- you can still be sued for A of A AND a judgment of millions could be levied against you to be paid to the wife. He was married. You had an affair with him. IN NC that can get you sued.

ETA: That does not excuse his behavior.

 

[nceducate]

According to your first post, you continued to flirt with him.

Also realize something -- if you continued to flirt with him and he leaves his wife, his wife may have a cause of action against you. Why? Google alienation of affection. You are in NC. Doesn't matter if you have the funds to pay -- you can still be sued for A of A AND a judgment of millions could be levied against you to be paid to the wife. He was married. You had an affair with him. IN NC that can get you sued.

ETA: That does not excuse his behavior.

As I said......if my actions condone his behavior then I will live with the consequences. I have admitted my failings and will face the results of it. Thank you for your judgement/advice.

 

[Ohiogal]

As I said......if my actions condone his behavior then I will live with the consequences. I have admitted my failings and will face the results of it. Thank you for your judgement/advice.

Where did I say your actions condone his behavior? Oh yeah. I didn't. I also explained to you the issues you have in playing the innocent victim -- you weren't innocent and were flirting with him until May. That is a fact PER YOU. Also, another LEGAL fact, is his wife can SUE YOU for MILLIONS of dollars for A of A. You might want to google North Carolina Alienation of Affection. You can have a judgment of millions levied against you if you lose the case even if you DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY to pay! How is that judgment? That is FACT! That is something for which you might want to prepare yourself.

 

[LdiJ]

As I said......if my actions condone his behavior then I will live with the consequences. I have admitted my failings and will face the results of it. Thank you for your judgement/advice.

She didn't say that. She specifically said that it does not excuse him. She is simply trying to explain a completely separate problem that you could run into. It all depends on how vengeful the wife might get towards you.

 

[nceducate]

She didn't say that. She specifically said that it does not excuse him. She is simply trying to explain a completely separate problem that you could run into. It all depends on how vengeful the wife might get towards you.

They were legally separated when we saw each other. We have not seen each other since he went back to her. We have called and text a total of 26 times in two years. Since his wife has stayed with him how am I in danger of being of her saying I am the cause of their marital problems.

 

[Ohiogal]

They were legally separated when we saw each other. We have not seen each other since he went back to her. We have called and text a total of 26 times in two years. Since his wife has stayed with him how am I in danger of being of her saying I am the cause of their marital problems.

How long did he live separate and apart from his wife before returning to her? Because you continued calling and texting him and flirting with him up until May. Does she know about THOSE calls? He is back with his wife now (per you) and you were still flirting with him (per you). When did he return to his wife and when did you last have sex with him?

§ 52-13. Procedures in causes of action for alienation of affection and criminal conversation


(a) No act of the defendant shall give rise to a cause of action for alienation of affection or criminal conversation that occurs after the plaintiff and the plaintiff's spouse physically separate with the intent of either the plaintiff or plaintiff's spouse that the physical separation remain permanent.

(b) An action for alienation of affection or criminal conversation shall not be commenced more than three years from the last act of the defendant giving rise to the cause of action.
(c) A person may commence a cause of action for alienation of affection or criminal conversation against a natural person only.

Cite as N.C. Gen. Stat. § 52-13

Criminal conversation is a crime of strict liability. Read this:
http://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcearticles/alienation-of-affection-and-criminal-conversation/
If he lied about being separated with the intent to remain separated or you knew he was planning to return to her when you were last with him, you could be found guilty. You might have a defense but that doesn't mean there wouldn't be a lawsuit.

ETA: Believe it or not I am trying to help you. If he wants to play hardball, his wife will file suit against you for A of A/criminal conversation. If he had no plans of remaining PERMANENTLY separated (did you see the separation agreement signed by both of them) from his wife or he and his wife testifies about that, you have issues and will lose if she files before the SOL runs.

 

[LdiJ]

They were legally separated when we saw each other. We have not seen each other since he went back to her. We have called and text a total of 26 times in two years. Since his wife has stayed with him how am I in danger of being of her saying I am the cause of their marital problems.

You really need a consult with a local attorney to see if you are really at risk for an alienation of affection suit. NC is one of the few states that still allow those kinds of suits at all and it not at all guaranteed that you could be sued...let alone that it could be for millions.