Hope someone can provide some moral advice.

[brandecho]

Hope someone can provide some moral advice.

Was recently in relationship where my former partner was convicted not once, but twice for DUI's. I know what you are thinking, "why would I date someone like that?" Well simply put, everyone makes mistakes, at least I thought. Still they violate probation and cheats the system. Please note, that I am really trying not to be vindictive because there is a thing called Karma, but our last disagreement, she got into a shoving match with my daughter while she was intoxicated. She shoved her first and my daughter defended herself. I separated them and I called the police; she quickly hoped in the car while intoxicated with her son and left before the cops arrived two hours later. Now she is stating that my daughter and I jumped her. Should I contact her probation officer? It seems that with all the punishment she is going through and from what I hear about alcoholics is that the first step is to admit to it but she does not. Any advice on this would be great.

Sincerely, Mr. Don'tWantAny, BadJuJu

 

[Antigone*]

Hope someone can provide some moral advice.

Was recently in relationship where my former partner was convicted not once, but twice for DUI's. I know what you are thinking, "why would I date someone like that?" Well simply put, everyone makes mistakes, at least I thought. Still they violate probation and cheats the system. Please note, that I am really trying not to be vindictive because there is a thing called Karma, but our last disagreement, she got into a shoving match with my daughter while she was intoxicated. She shoved her first and my daughter defended herself. I separated them and I called the police; she quickly hoped in the car while intoxicated with her son and left before the cops arrived two hours later. Now she is stating that my daughter and I jumped her. Should I contact her probation officer? It seems that with all the punishment she is going through and from what I hear about alcoholics is that the first step is to admit to it but she does not. Any advice on this would be great.

Sincerely, Mr. Don'tWantAny, BadJuJu

First and foremost - Break all ties with this woman. So when the police finally arrived, did you file a report?

 

[commentator]

You can call her probation officer and tattle till your tongue falls off. But they won't violate her simply because of what you are saying. They'll maybe ask her for additional tests, will definitely check on this latest shoving match going on in the legal system due to her altercation with you and your daughter and the police.

But don't expect them to grab her up and send her off to jail just because you, who haven't called before, haven't reported her to the police when she's driven drunk when you were on good terms with her, suddenly start trying to report her for previous episodes of drunk driving where she was not caught, now that you and she have split up and you're mad at her.

The moral issue here is if you are really so concerned with her driving drunk, call the police and report that she is doing it every time she gets in the car if you cannot stop her from getting in and driving off. By the way, does she have a driver's license, restricted license? What's the deal with her legality to drive anyhow? If she is hauling her child around in the car with her while she is drunk and you allow this even once, if you do not immediately call the cops and report this, then you are pretty much setting yourself up for some real bad ju-ju.

I also suggest you separate yourself from this person. A few Al-anon meetings might be appropriate if you feel led to continue the relationship or have trouble breaking the ties. But "everyone makes mistakes" doesn't apply to alcoholism, it is a progressive disease, not a bad decision or a series of bad decisions. What she is doing is falling down the walls into alcoholic hell. Keep those you are aware of safe and stay away.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

On a brighter note, you have more credibility than a drunk. Stay away... Far, Far, away from this woman.

 

[swalsh411]

I would report her to CPS for driving drunk with her child in the car.

And then never ever ever ever speak to her again.

 

[dave33]

Hope someone can provide some moral advice.

Was recently in relationship where my former partner was convicted not once, but twice for DUI's. I know what you are thinking, "why would I date someone like that?" Well simply put, everyone makes mistakes, at least I thought. Still they violate probation and cheats the system. Please note, that I am really trying not to be vindictive because there is a thing called Karma, but our last disagreement, she got into a shoving match with my daughter while she was intoxicated. She shoved her first and my daughter defended herself. I separated them and I called the police; she quickly hoped in the car while intoxicated with her son and left before the cops arrived two hours later. Now she is stating that my daughter and I jumped her. Should I contact her probation officer? It seems that with all the punishment she is going through and from what I hear about alcoholics is that the first step is to admit to it but she does not. Any advice on this would be great.

Sincerely, Mr. Don'tWantAny, BadJuJu

Involving the police is almost never a good idea. If this person has created a situation in which you felt to call the p.d. was the best option, I would strongly suggest to remove this person from your life. Also, for this person to put their hands on your daughter is a huge problem. I was not there, I nor anyone else who was not there, does not know for sure what happened. That being said, other than her defending herself, I would not forgive or give her another chance to possibly hurt my child. I only have a son and no daughters, but I believe to protect a child (especially a daughter) is a parents single biggest priority.

Contacting her p.o. will not accomplish much, if anything the p.o. will most likely contact the police to find out about any criminal charges.

 

[commentator]

This is so a necro post.

 

[dave33]

This is so a necro post.

You are right. Oops.