stealth2
Under the Radar Member
The red flags can be very subtle (if visible ar all), Bali...What attracts women to these psycho's.
The red flags can be very subtle (if visible ar all), Bali...What attracts women to these psycho's.
Bali, sometimes there really are no warning signs. An old family friend married a man that absolutely everyone thought was really wonderful (and they were engaged for over a year so everyone had time to really get to know him, or so they thought) who turned into an absolute monster just a few weeks after the wedding.There HAD to be warning signs of this behavior before you married him. Why did you ignore them?
If something or someone seems too good to be true, RED FLAG!Bali, sometimes there really are no warning signs. An old family friend married a man that absolutely everyone thought was really wonderful (and they were engaged for over a year so everyone had time to really get to know him, or so they thought) who turned into an absolute monster just a few weeks after the wedding.
YOU should write a BOOK, Bali.If something or someone seems too good to be true, RED FLAG!
Test protocol:
Give them alot of grief (create an argument) and monitor reaction.
If someone seems to never want to be away from you because they "love" you so much, take a vacation without them and monitor reaction.
There are a variety of ways to bring out someones true colors. When those true colors or (probable symptoms) come out, RUN!
There honestly were no warning signs. I had known him since I was very young, even knew other women he had been with prior to me, and honestly had no idea he was capable of such things. None of his prior relationships ever expressed concern over his behavior and his family seemed as if things were a complete shock to them. The worst part was I found out several years AFTER I left him that there WERE in fact prior incidences, and one that even prompted the calling of police. He had been in an argument with his mother that led to him grabbing her by the forearms and yelling at her that he was going to hurt himself if she didn't let him continue to live with her. Of course NOBODY felt it in my best interest to share these things with me until AFTER we had been together, and those same family members were the ones criticizing me for wanting to press charges against him for abuse. Lovely family he had . I did go out of town (actually out of the country) for a wedding for a week and he seemed fine with things. His behavior didn't change until we moved in together. Its one of the reasons I always say to NEVER marry someone until you've lived with them for at LEAST a year first. You just don't truly know someone until you live together *sigh*There HAD to be warning signs of this behavior before you married him. Why did you ignore them?
I have had the great blessing of never having been abused, for which I am grateful to God.There HAD to be warning signs of this behavior before you married him. Why did you ignore them?
Not even the smallest suspicion? No drug or alcohol abuse? No self destructive behavior at all?There honestly were no warning signs. I had known him since I was very young, even knew other women he had been with prior to me, and honestly had no idea he was capable of such things. None of his prior relationships ever expressed concern over his behavior and his family seemed as if things were a complete shock to them. The worst part was I found out several years AFTER I left him that there WERE in fact prior incidences, and one that even prompted the calling of police. He had been in an argument with his mother that led to him grabbing her by the forearms and yelling at her that he was going to hurt himself if she didn't let him continue to live with her. Of course NOBODY felt it in my best interest to share these things with me until AFTER we had been together, and those same family members were the ones criticizing me for wanting to press charges against him for abuse. Lovely family he had . I did go out of town (actually out of the country) for a wedding for a week and he seemed fine with things. His behavior didn't change until we moved in together. Its one of the reasons I always say to NEVER marry someone until you've lived with them for at LEAST a year first. You just don't truly know someone until you live together *sigh*
I have compassion, that's why I would try and prevent a destructive relationship rather than being naïve and then a victim.I have had the great blessing of never having been abused, for which I am grateful to God.
Unfortunately, I didn't understand the various types of abuse, as you yet do not understand.
Fortunately for everyone here, my very good friend Blue Meanie wrote me and explained many things about the topic, for which I am grateful to her. It made me a better person and a better advisor.
Really, Bali. Have some compassion. Do some reading and learning.
I have compassion, that's why I would try and prevent a destructive relationship rather than being naïve and then a victim.
If anyone gives me the smallest hint of being off their rocker, I'm gone.
I use Bic double edge disposable razors. I don't have heavy facial hair growth.How do you shave in the morning?!
Puzzled in PNW
I use Bic double edge disposable razors. I don't have heavy facial hair growth.
How about yourself, I'm guessing a jackhammer?
Yeah, I'm still mad. Don't start a fight with me and get me banned when you lose.Bali, Bali, Bali.
You still mad? Don't be mad, bro. Bad for the blood pressure, y'know. Specially when you're already stressed about having to pay alimony!
And you do NOT want that!Bali, Bali, Bali.
You still mad? Don't be mad, bro. Bad for the blood pressure, y'know. Specially when you're already stressed about having to pay alimony!
There HAD to be warning signs of this behavior before you married him. Why did you ignore them?