Alcoholic Wife Need to Protect my family

[Superfrustrated]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

Hi ...

Hoping that someone can offer some advice.

My wife is an alcoholic and she does not make good decisions about driving when she is drunk. Over the last 4 months I know of 4 times when she has driving with a high BOC...maybe 0.15 to 0.25. My concern is that she will kill someone or herself.

I am doing everything I can do to get her help and support her but most of this is in her hands. I aside from the obvious concern about hurting herself or someone else....I am concerned about what will happen to me and our 2 little girls if she did hurt someone. I understand that a wrongful death suit against her could bring on our financial ruin. We are fairly well off right now and living a comfortable life....I would hate to see my kids suffer by losing their mom, our house, ect.

I cannot control what she does...but is there some financial steps I can take now to avoid a possible issue? I do not want to divorce her...I want to keep our family together...but I do not want to lose our house and security should something terrible happen.

Hope someone has some advice...

Superfrustrated

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

Hi ...

Hoping that someone can offer some advice.

My wife is an alcoholic and she does not make good decisions about driving when she is drunk. Over the last 4 months I know of 4 times when she has driving with a high BOC...maybe 0.15 to 0.25. My concern is that she will kill someone or herself.

I am doing everything I can do to get her help and support her but most of this is in her hands. I aside from the obvious concern about hurting herself or someone else....I am concerned about what will happen to me and our 2 little girls if she did hurt someone. I understand that a wrongful death suit against her could bring on our financial ruin. We are fairly well off right now and living a comfortable life....I would hate to see my kids suffer by losing their mom, our house, ect.

I cannot control what she does...but is there some financial steps I can take now to avoid a possible issue? I do not want to divorce her...I want to keep our family together...but I do not want to lose our house and security should something terrible happen.

Hope someone has some advice...

Superfrustrated

I don't suppose she's ready for rehab?

If the answer is "no", you have but two choices.

1. Divorce
2. Run the risk of being financially ruined

(NB: 1 & 2 often go hand in hand)

 

[Ohiogal]

I don't suppose she's ready for rehab?

If the answer is "no", you have but two choices.

1. Divorce
2. Run the risk of being financially ruined

(NB: 1 & 2 often go hand in hand)

There is a third thing he should be concerned about -- if she ever drives with the CHILDREN or is alone with the children, he can find himself losing the children to the state because of his wife's actions.

OP, is your wife EVER alone with the children? If so, you are endangering your children. If you have to choose, who do you choose -- your wife or your children? If your children, you really need to make decisions putting them first. That may mean putting the children in daycare, hiring a nanny or something else so that your wife is NEVER alone with them; divorcing your wife and suing for full custody with her getting supervised visitation until she sobers up; or other options that limit your wife being with the children by herself.

Either that or realize that your wife's actions can cost you the children in more ways than one.

 

[CJane]

Wondering if this is the same guy that posted a week or so ago, but with a new angle.

Also, how could he POSSIBLY know what her BAC is?

Personally? I'd get one of these installed on any vehicle of mine that she had access to:

http://www.guardianinterlock.com/

 

[not2cleverRed]

Wondering if this is the same guy that posted a week or so ago, but with a new angle.

Also, how could he POSSIBLY know what her BAC is?

Personally? I'd get one of these installed on any vehicle of mine that she had access to:

http://www.guardianinterlock.com/

I'm jaded enough to think that she'd find a way around it.

Take her keys away and follow OG's advice.

 

[Bali Hai]

Wondering if this is the same guy that posted a week or so ago, but with a new angle.

Also, how could he POSSIBLY know what her BAC is?

Personally? I'd get one of these installed on any vehicle of mine that she had access to:

http://www.guardianinterlock.com/

He was guessing her BAC probably based on his observations. If she drove home and took out the mailbox, fell out of the car when she opened the door or passed out as she was crawling to the house, it would tend to support the BAC numbers OP guessed.

 

[Zigner]

He was guessing her BAC probably based on his observations. If she drove home and took out the mailbox, fell out of the car when she opened the door or passed out as she was crawling to the house, it would tend to support the BAC numbers OP guessed.

Very scientific

 

[Proserpina]

Two glasses of wine + 2 Benadryl = enough to make some people completely unable to do much more than find the bed.

BAC rarely even close to the per se limit.

Of course, there I go being all sensible again.

 

[Bali Hai]

Very scientific

No rocket science needed here, just a trained eye.

 

[Bali Hai]

Two glasses of wine + 2 Benadryl = enough to make some people completely unable to do much more than find the bed.

BAC rarely even close to the per se limit.

Of course, there I go being all sensible again.

I'm sure that's been a defense strategy used before. The last DWI jury I was on, the person "burped" into the breathalyzer.

 

[Superfrustrated]

I bought a $250 breathlaizer...it is pretty accurate. I tested it out on myself using my weight and one of those charts that monitors your BAC by time and drinks per hour.

She is in rehab (out patient). This is still the recommendation of the counselor. I would not want to take her from the kids...she is a great mom.

If we had an agreement, a post nup, saying what we share and what we own jointly would anybody suing her be able to touch what is on my side of the marriage?

 

[Zigner]

No rocket science needed here, just a trained eye.

Even a trained eye cannot tell blood alcohol content with any precision just from observation.

 

[Proserpina]

I bought a $250 breathlaizer...it is pretty accurate. I tested it out on myself using my weight and one of those charts that monitors your BAC by time and drinks per hour.

She is in rehab (out patient). This is still the recommendation of the counselor. I would not want to take her from the kids...she is a great mom.

If we had an agreement, a post nup, saying what we share and what we own jointly would anybody suing her be able to touch what is on my side of the marriage?

Yeap. A third party isn't bound by an agreement between you and your wife.

Think about it for a sec. Wife gets into a wreck. She just happens to transfer all of her funds to you. They can't touch her, and all of the resources are in your name.

Hardly fair, is it?

 

[Silverplum]

I bought a $250 breathlaizer...it is pretty accurate. I tested it out on myself using my weight and one of those charts that monitors your BAC by time and drinks per hour.

She is in rehab (out patient). This is still the recommendation of the counselor. I would not want to take her from the kids...she is a great mom.

If we had an agreement, a post nup, saying what we share and what we own jointly would anybody suing her be able to touch what is on my side of the marriage?

A "great mom," who would rather be drunk than sober for her children, who will drive said children while drunk.

I don't think she's so great.

 

[Superfrustrated]

I am kind of sorry I posted this here...seems like a lot of personal opinions about my wife (whom you've never met) and little legal advice. How could you say not a good mom when you've never seen her with her kids. And who ever said she would rather be drunk than with her kids....weird comment.

In any case....the agreement would be drawn up before anything bad happens not afterwards to avoid an obvious issue. I thought pre or post nuptial agreements hold up in court?....This is what I own and this is what she owns...