need help in california...

[CdwJava]

I get the distinct impression that Mom's presence wouldn't have been worth noting either way.

Of course, if she was not objecting, then dad had the choice to do as he wished. Maybe mom was letting her parents fight her battle ... not a good idea. Though, I am curious what was meant by the reference to "parental alienation."

Who wins that one? Dad wants them to go. Mom doesn't want them to go. Dad bundles them into the car regardless of Mom's wishes. Mom follows in her car and brings them right back out of church.

Seriously - where does it end?

It would end when the police either arrest one or both of them for disrupting the church service, or they take the kids.

I've never seen THAT scenario play out, but, I suppose it could.

Would you have made a point of bringing it to the attention of a group of perfect strangers? "Heck if he didn't have a broken leg I would've .... ".

Maybe. If I thought that maybe someone was wondering why I just didn't push my way past and I felt some odd need to reveal my thoughts on the matter, maybe. I'm not in the habit of commenting to folks one way or the other, but, as he didn't quite SAY he was inclined to thump the lady, I don't feel the need to infer it from what little was said.

Of course, I'm also thinking there is a cultural difference at play.

Could well be.

Mom's right to have her children not attend church is equal to Dad's right to take them to church. Perhaps she's felt bullied all through her marriage. Perhaps HE feels as if she's walked all over him the entire duration.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

And, legally, "perhaps" means diddly.

 

[Proserpina]

Of course, if she was not objecting, then dad had the choice to do as he wished. Maybe mom was letting her parents fight her battle ... not a good idea. Though, I am curious what was meant by the reference to "parental alienation."


It would end when the police either arrest one or both of them for disrupting the church service, or they take the kids.

I've never seen THAT scenario play out, but, I suppose it could.


Maybe. If I thought that maybe someone was wondering why I just didn't push my way past and I felt some odd need to reveal my thoughts on the matter, maybe. I'm not in the habit of commenting to folks one way or the other, but, as he didn't quite SAY he was inclined to thump the lady, I don't feel the need to infer it from what little was said.


Could well be.


And, legally, "perhaps" means diddly.

Hey now - Diddly means a whole lot of Real Legal Stuff!

And I'm notorious for inferring. I know that. Sometimes I have to sit on it, but it still gets out.

Mea culpa

 

[Nellibelle]

Oh, I have seen it get a whole lot worse!!!

I suspect it WOULD get a whole lot worse if the police decided to take the children to CPS because the parents were arguing over whether they should go to church or not!

 

[CdwJava]

I suspect it WOULD get a whole lot worse if the police decided to take the children to CPS because the parents were arguing over whether they should go to church or not!

No, it would NOT be because they were arguing over whether they would be going to church. But, in any dispute between two parents where the disposition of the children cannot be mutually decided and there exists no court order to resolve the issue, seizing the children to remove them from the situation is an option here. It is exceedingly rare, but the threat is often enough to get the parties to knock off their squabbling long enough to resolve the issue one way or the other for the moment.

The alternative is that everyone remains in the driveway for the next few hours, and/or the kids get pulled about like push-me-pull-yous and an inevitable DV occurs. Nope. We're not going to wait around for that.

Oh, and we would be required by law to write a report on the domestic disturbance, and in most instances to cross-report the incident to CPS as general neglect. So, such an issue even if amicably resolved can result in CPS poking around. All the more reason for mom and dad to either follow through with divorce or separation, and to file for custody and visitation that can address any of these concerns (such as church or no church ... chances are dad can take them to church on his days unless a court finds some good reason to prohibit it - which is not likely).

 

[Bali Hai]

Um...re-read the original post again. I just did, and I think I need to know if I'm seeing something - just by the wording - that's causing me to shiver inwardly?

It's implying that the only reason he didn't get physical was because MIL was sick...and then implying that next time he won't hold back.

Please tell me it's just me.

Well, Pros...If I recall correctly, you are a fan of Jack Bower.

Jack says to bad guy: "The only reason you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you". Breathing hard...Breathing hard....

Just kidding.

 

[Proserpina]

Well, Pros...If I recall correctly, you are a fan of Jack Bower.

Jack says to bad guy: "The only reason you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you". Breathing hard...Breathing hard....

Just kidding.

Bauer.

Just keep writing those checks. That's your job.

 

[Bali Hai]

Bauer.

Just keep writing those checks. That's your job.

Will do. LMAO

 

[single317dad]

Who lets a dispute about going to church rise to that level?

Pretty much every civilization in the history of mankind?

 

[LdiJ]

Pretty much every civilization in the history of mankind?

Ok...valid point...

 

[blng_blng]

...

how I broke it down in the beginning is exactly what happened...
and what I mean my I will not "feel sorry" the next time, is not an implied threat violence towards my in_laws...

but, as the home owner and custodial parents of my children I was well within my right to dictate when/where they will attend church (per cali family law) and as the owner of the house could have had them removed...

I have never disrespected them, in any way, but their behavior that day was abominable...
give me a second to read all the responses, I did not expect 2 pages of them...

 

[blng_blng]

a: Though, I did not read where the KIDS didn't want to go to church, only that the in-laws did not want the kids to go to church.

b: The in-laws have no say in the matter. None. If they are on your property and refuse to depart when asked, you can have them arrested for trespassing. If they bar your way and prevent you and your children from leaving, you can call the police and have them arrested for false imprisonment (or, if on your property and refusing to leave, trespassing).

c: If your wife is also against them going to church, that could be a problem if she was also present. But, from what you write, she did not appear to be.

Thanks Java...
Just what the doctor ordered...

a: My kids never "want" to go to church, but who does? Me and my wife already have a parental agreement (proof I guess that a divorce is imminent) on what Sundays my kids will go to church with me, with her and a 50% of Holidays.

b: I was already aware of the fact that my in_laws (legally) need to mind their own flippin business. I told them then that I have never disrespected them, but they were acting really indignant that day. My mother-in-law literally stood in front of my youngest, took a very aggressive "you have to come through me" posture and essentially said you have to come through me to get to him. I knew I could have them removed via (being 50% owner of my house) trespassing, but the false-imprisonment has got me licking my chops and I hope she "goes there" again actually.

c: my wife is not really "against" church, but she does not endorse it either and her negative vibe is something the kids pick up on...

Java you knocked it out the park tho'...
"False Imprisonment" I got something for them two now...

But the gentleman in me felt sorry for them because they both are terminally ill...
But, conversely, I should not feel "bad" for doing something I am well within my legal rights to do...

 

[SESmama]

If your wife is still living in the house and her parents were invited by her then they are not trespassing. Was Sunday your Sunday? What does the parenting time order state exactly?

 

[Ohiogal]

If your wife is still living in the house and her parents were invited by her then they are not trespassing. Was Sunday your Sunday? What does the parenting time order state exactly?

Was the parenting time order COURT ORDERED? If not, he has butkus that he can scream and holler about.

 

[blng_blng]

If your wife is still living in the house and her parents were invited by her then they are not trespassing. Was Sunday your Sunday? What does the parenting time order state exactly?

what about the false imprisonment?
are you sure that is how trespassing works?
I can have someone in a house I share with someone else against the other owners wishes?

 

[blng_blng]

Was the parenting time order COURT ORDERED? If not, he has butkus that he can scream and holler about.

me an her have a parental agreement...
does that have to be court ordered?