What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Hello. I am a mom and I hope that is okay with all of you guys.
I live in NY and currently have NO court orders in place for custody,visitation and child support. I am also still married. I do have a court date for visitation in October.
I need help handling the situation that I am in.
I left my husband in April of 2013 and I took my child (Daughter, 7) with me. We live in my parents home. He moved in with his father. My husband was never very involved with caring for our child; he'd play with her, but that was about it.
I left because he has serious mental issues. He stopped taking medication back in 2011 and it was like living on a roller coaster. It became unsafe and I had to leave because of that.
I had a lawyer draft a separation agreement in which I had full legal and physical custody and he had 'reasonable visitations.' The reason for this is because he told me when we discussed separating that he 'didn't want to be held to a schedule.' I gave him the agreement and he refused to sign, so it's meaningless, but I tried.
He does see her about once a week on average. He calls her almost every single night and they do speak. Lately, however, she refuses to go anywhere with him. She says that she feels 'unsafe.'
Last week, she refused to go with him. She screamed and cried and dug her heels in. He grew impatient and picked her up and started walking down the block with her, but the screaming was too much so he brought her back.
Today, they had plans to visit a relative of his. He decided to change these plans (as he often does) in the morning. I didn't tell my daughter that the plans had changed. When she saw that he was there, she started screaming and crying that she didn't want to go. She was very loud. She was standing on my stoop and he just picked her up and threw her in the car and the person driving drove off with her screaming.
I called him about 10 minutes later to see if she was okay, but he hung up on me. Then I called 5 minutes after that and he told me that I couldn't speak to her until she got to her destination. About 45 minutes later she called and said she was okay.
When she got home, she was very upset and shaken up from the whole experience.
What is the best way to handle this? She is in therapy right now but he isn't making an effort to be involved and we are no longer at a point where we can effectively communicate. Do I just leave it to the courts? He has a history of terrible judgment with our child on their outings and she has always been nervous going places with him, even when we were together. Any advice will be helpful and I'll be glad to give more information if necessary.
Thanks
Hello. I am a mom and I hope that is okay with all of you guys.
I live in NY and currently have NO court orders in place for custody,visitation and child support. I am also still married. I do have a court date for visitation in October.
I need help handling the situation that I am in.
I left my husband in April of 2013 and I took my child (Daughter, 7) with me. We live in my parents home. He moved in with his father. My husband was never very involved with caring for our child; he'd play with her, but that was about it.
I left because he has serious mental issues. He stopped taking medication back in 2011 and it was like living on a roller coaster. It became unsafe and I had to leave because of that.
I had a lawyer draft a separation agreement in which I had full legal and physical custody and he had 'reasonable visitations.' The reason for this is because he told me when we discussed separating that he 'didn't want to be held to a schedule.' I gave him the agreement and he refused to sign, so it's meaningless, but I tried.
He does see her about once a week on average. He calls her almost every single night and they do speak. Lately, however, she refuses to go anywhere with him. She says that she feels 'unsafe.'
Last week, she refused to go with him. She screamed and cried and dug her heels in. He grew impatient and picked her up and started walking down the block with her, but the screaming was too much so he brought her back.
Today, they had plans to visit a relative of his. He decided to change these plans (as he often does) in the morning. I didn't tell my daughter that the plans had changed. When she saw that he was there, she started screaming and crying that she didn't want to go. She was very loud. She was standing on my stoop and he just picked her up and threw her in the car and the person driving drove off with her screaming.
I called him about 10 minutes later to see if she was okay, but he hung up on me. Then I called 5 minutes after that and he told me that I couldn't speak to her until she got to her destination. About 45 minutes later she called and said she was okay.
When she got home, she was very upset and shaken up from the whole experience.
What is the best way to handle this? She is in therapy right now but he isn't making an effort to be involved and we are no longer at a point where we can effectively communicate. Do I just leave it to the courts? He has a history of terrible judgment with our child on their outings and she has always been nervous going places with him, even when we were together. Any advice will be helpful and I'll be glad to give more information if necessary.
Thanks