Update to my Custody Modification Thread

[karismom]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

I apologize for posting this additional thread but my previous thread was closed and I was not able to add to it.

I talked (very briefly) to my neighbor tonight who is the family court judge in the next county over from where we live. She told me that what I was told by the attorney yesterday was more or less correct, but that it varies so much that it is hard to predict what would actually happen until taking it to court.

I just wanted to say thanks to all who posted to my original thread - it did make me think about all the possible issues. I have hated for years that she continually hates going back to her dad's and wanted her to have a choice, but I know he isn't abusive and I have to remember she is 13. I love her a lot and just want her to be happy.

At this point I am thinking that I will talk to her dad and see what he says, rather than pursuing anything in court. As for moving, maybe the best thing for me to do is to make as much time as I can to visit relatives who she is really close to. It's been hard with work but it is a priority.

Thanks again -

Karismom

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

I apologize for posting this additional thread but my previous thread was closed and I was not able to add to it.

I talked (very briefly) to my neighbor tonight who is the family court judge in the next county over from where we live. She told me that what I was told by the attorney yesterday was more or less correct, but that it varies so much that it is hard to predict what would actually happen until taking it to court.

I just wanted to say thanks to all who posted to my original thread - it did make me think about all the possible issues. I have hated for years that she continually hates going back to her dad's and wanted her to have a choice, but I know he isn't abusive and I have to remember she is 13. I love her a lot and just want her to be happy.

At this point I am thinking that I will talk to her dad and see what he says, rather than pursuing anything in court. As for moving, maybe the best thing for me to do is to make as much time as I can to visit relatives who she is really close to. It's been hard with work but it is a priority.

Thanks again -

Karismom

So she also said you might not be able to relocate. AMAZING.

 

[I'mTheFather]

So she also said you might not be able to relocate. AMAZING.

Please stop.

 

[Ohiogal]

Please stop.

I didn't say anything. I am just amazed that she was told she might not be able to move. It is amazing. Because the lawyers she talked to seemed to pretty much guarantee it.

 

[I'mTheFather]

I didn't say anything. I am just amazed that she was told she might not be able to move. It is amazing. Because the lawyers she talked to seemed to pretty much guarantee it.

You are responding for the sole purpose of instigating another go-around. There was enough of it in the other thread.

 

[Ohiogal]

You are responding for the sole purpose of instigating another go-around. There was enough of it in the other thread.

I responded solely on what was in this thread. Nothing else.

 

[karismom]

You are responding for the sole purpose of instigating another go-around. There was enough of it in the other thread.

Thanks I'mTheFather.

I didn't know at the beginning what the odds were of it being possible, because I had a hard time separating out her desire to not do the week-to-week custody and to live with me with her desire - and my desire - to move. From reading the posts to my previous threads I did not consider all options and probably gave too much emphasis to a 13-year-old. And likely because it was what I wanted too.

The posts woke me up. I appreciate that more than I can say.

 

[Silverplum]

Thanks I'mTheFather.

I didn't know at the beginning what the odds were of it being possible, because I had a hard time separating out her desire to not do the week-to-week custody and to live with me with her desire - and my desire - to move. From reading the posts to my previous threads I did not consider all options and probably gave too much emphasis to a 13-year-old. And likely because it was what I wanted too.

The posts woke me up. I appreciate that more than I can say.

Good.

...
...

 

[karismom]

Good.

...
...

Thank you silverplum.

 

[stealth2]

Thanks for posring what I was thinking, Dad.

karismom - I do think talking to your ex is the best course of action. As is considering travel to your family, as well as their visiting you.

Try to think back to when you were 13, and how you felt so grown up and ready to make your own decisions about YOUR LIFE! Well.... you weren't really all that grown up, were you? Neither is your daughter. It's a difficult time of life, feeling both a woman and a child, yet desperately wanting to be a woman. She may not realize it (yet), but her relationship with her Dad ses the basis for every one of her future relationships. He may not be perfect, but it sounds as though he's not horrid, either.

My youngest has been estranged (completely) from her Dad going on five years now, and it's heartbreaking. I often wonder how it would have all played out w/o the distance involved.

I know you want her to be happy, but that may involve some unhappy times first. Moving is the easy out. Staying is what takes guts.

 

[karismom]

Thanks for posring what I was thinking, Dad.

karismom - I do think talking to your ex is the best course of action. As is considering travel to your family, as well as their visiting you.

Try to think back to when you were 13, and how you felt so grown up and ready to make your own decisions about YOUR LIFE! Well.... you weren't really all that grown up, were you? Neither is your daughter. It's a difficult time of life, feeling both a woman and a child, yet desperately wanting to be a woman. She may not realize it (yet), but her relationship with her Dad ses the basis for every one of her future relationships. He may not be perfect, but it sounds as though he's not horrid, either.

My youngest has been estranged (completely) from her Dad going on five years now, and it's heartbreaking. I often wonder how it would have all played out w/o the distance involved.

I know you want her to be happy, but that may involve some unhappy times first. Moving is the easy out. Staying is what takes guts.

Wow. Thank you stealth2. I was hoping to hear from you.

I don't remember when I was 13 but I had two very stable, married parents and I feel like a huge failure at times that I divorced their dad. He was never abusive to them - and I know he wouldn't be - but he's hard to deal with for the kids too because of his impatience and anger issues. His bosses here (as before we moved) have required him to take anger management classes. I left the marriage just after we moved here when he threw me against a wall - enough for me. They have each told me many stories of his anger issues when they are with him.

I'm sorry for your daughter's situation with her dad. I can't imagine that - for you or for her.

Thank you for saying what you did. You are right and I will stay. He's not horrid and he's a decent dad.

Wow again - thanks so much - I just never thought about it that way before. I don't think any of you will know how much you have changed my daughter's life - and my life.

 

[stealth2]

I think most will vouch that I rarely offer this, but feel free to message me if you like.