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Two boys one with mom one with dad. Can agreement for each financially supporting the

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oshynsrose72

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York


I am a father with custody of both my boys. My oldest is giving a lot of behavioral problems in school and home. Reason ( wants to live with his mom) Can her and I make a written agreement where I allow her to take physical custody od the oldest and we each financially support the child living with us. Would it be legally binding. If not how would we contract a legal and binding agreement like that.
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
If you want to make it really binding, you will need to have it entered by the court as a custody & support order.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Sure, I know lots of guys who would bend over backwards to create a user id that works out to become ~Ocean's Rose~.

;)
 

BL

Senior Member
If you want to make it really binding, you will need to have it entered by the court as a custody & support order.
And that's if the court excepts it . Want a change in custody first, then see if the court excepts the support agreement. If not the court will go by the guidelines . Now tell me why would you think if the problem child went to live with mom she'd have to help support the other one in your custody?

Does she make mega millions more money than You?

Shake my head . You
just want to be done with the problem child and be compensated too?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
And that's if the court excepts it . Want a change in custody first, then see if the court excepts the support agreement. If not the court will go by the guidelines . Now tell me why would you think if the problem child went to live with mom she'd have to help support the other one in your custody?

Does she make mega millions more money than You?

Shake my head . You
just want to be done with the problem child and be compensated too?
You're alive!!!!!!!!

OP - how old is this child? Why do you think it's good to give in to his wishes? Is there a reason you gained custody vs the other parent?
 

oshynsrose

Junior Member
You're alive!!!!!!!!

OP - how old is this child? Why do you think it's good to give in to his wishes? Is there a reason you gained custody vs the other parent?
He is 10 years old. No I do not want to be done with the problem kid. I have contacted various agencies for help. Every time it seems he is progressing after his weekend visits, it starts again. I don't want him hating me because he feels I am keeping him from his mother. As for custody I was contacted by acs to pick them up because they were being removed for educational neglect. My agreement will consist of more than the child support agreement. The school will contact me weekly to make sure he is in school and completing homework and classwork assignments. If she does not comply agreement will be revoked. It was a thought of let him work for what he wants. he is old enough to say mom I have to go to school. I'm stuck here, I sit down with him many nights and explain how important school is.
 

oshynsrose

Junior Member
Sure, I know lots of guys who would bend over backwards to create a user id that works out to become ~Ocean's Rose~.

;)
My user name is really of no importance to my question. But just to give example of do not judge if you do not know. The name was a remembrance for my baby that died in 2011. But thanks anyway
 

SESmama

Member
No court is going to put the school into your personal court order. They will not order the school to keep in contact with you. That will end up in your lap.
 

oshynsrose

Junior Member
misunderstood

And that's if the court excepts it . Want a change in custody first, then see if the court excepts the support agreement. If not the court will go by the guidelines . Now tell me why would you think if the problem child went to live with mom she'd have to help support the other one in your custody?

Does she make mega millions more money than You?

Shake my head . You
just want to be done with the problem child and be compensated too?
You misunderstood my question. The agreement was she financially support the oldest while he is living with her and I support the youngest that lives with me. I have had custody since 2012 and she gives me no help financially or morally. If I ask for help she tells them she does not have to do for them because they live with me. I know I should go to child support but I work full time and am in my 2nd year of college. My days off are on weekends and courts are not open. It's not easy to take a day off because I can not afford to lose the pay; rent, light and food. I have custody of my three girls as well with a different mother. But she helps with the girls as far as clothes and essentials.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
He is 10 years old. No I do not want to be done with the problem kid. I have contacted various agencies for help. Every time it seems he is progressing after his weekend visits, it starts again. I don't want him hating me because he feels I am keeping him from his mother. As for custody I was contacted by acs to pick them up because they were being removed for educational neglect. My agreement will consist of more than the child support agreement. The school will contact me weekly to make sure he is in school and completing homework and classwork assignments. If she does not comply agreement will be revoked. It was a thought of let him work for what he wants. he is old enough to say mom I have to go to school. I'm stuck here, I sit down with him many nights and explain how important school is.
I, personally, would not give him what he wants based on his poor grades. I'd work on his getting his grades up, while telling him that showing the responsibility of applying himself will allow the discussion of a change.
 

oshynsrose

Junior Member
I, personally, would not give him what he wants based on his poor grades. I'd work on his getting his grades up, while telling him that showing the responsibility of applying himself will allow the discussion of a change.
I have tried that. He seems to think that his behavior will make the courts send him back to his mother. I explained to him that will only harm his mother and himself. Before the final order of custody a psychiatrist reported coaching on mothers behalf, which stated that the youngest told the psychiatrist that mommy said if we give trouble, misbehave and say daddy does bad things to us, is the only way we can go back with her. One other option the school counselor suggested was requesting family counseling with mother to address his behavior. She has refused. The other option was to go before the judge and either request less visiting or supervised.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I have tried that. He seems to think that his behavior will make the courts send him back to his mother. I explained to him that will only harm his mother and himself. Before the final order of custody a psychiatrist reported coaching on mothers behalf, which stated that the youngest told the psychiatrist that mommy said if we give trouble, misbehave and say daddy does bad things to us, is the only way we can go back with her. One other option the school counselor suggested was requesting family counseling with mother to address his behavior. She has refused. The other option was to go before the judge and either request less visiting or supervised.
<shrug> Then do as you please.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
You misunderstood my question. The agreement was she financially support the oldest while he is living with her and I support the youngest that lives with me. I have had custody since 2012 and she gives me no help financially or morally. If I ask for help she tells them she does not have to do for them because they live with me. I know I should go to child support but I work full time and am in my 2nd year of college. My days off are on weekends and courts are not open. It's not easy to take a day off because I can not afford to lose the pay; rent, light and food. I have custody of my three girls as well with a different mother. But she helps with the girls as far as clothes and essentials.
There's an option available to you, but you refuse to utilize it and complain instead.

:rolleyes:
 

BL

Senior Member
You're alive!!!!!!!!

OP - how old is this child? Why do you think it's good to give in to his wishes? Is there a reason you gained custody vs the other parent?
Yeah I'm still alive . Been in & out of the hosps. But still alive !!!!!!! :)
 

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