17 year old need to move out- Florida - 8 months until 18

[Kaybugg]

My state is Florida. My mother and I have grown apart from the start of about two years ago. She always went to stay with her boyfriend and let me do whatever I wanted, including staying with mine. I was heart broken about it for a while, but I learned to live with it. I ended up staying with a friend of mine for about a month straight this past January, and I asked her if I could move out since she's never home, but she denied me and made me go back to my grandparents saying everything would change. We did this about three times before she banned me from seeing my friend at all. I'll be 18 in 8 months, but I cannot handle the emotional abuse she puts me through for that much longer. At the beginning of this month she bought a house right by her boyfriends house, and moved me in. She yells at me every single day. Yes I've made mistakes, what teenager doesn't? But she restricts me from doing absolutely anything. She won't even let me get a job or let me have my car back unless I get an IUD put inside of me. I don't know if I will honestly make it 8 more months. I can't go from her separating herself from me to suddenly wanting me back in the house just so she doesn't get into any trouble because of me. I know she loves me, but the stress I go through everyday is breaking me down slowly. I have friends that are willing o harbor me if I runaway, but I don't want them to get into trouble... Please please please help me. I don't know what to do.

 

[Kaybugg]

Update;

When I say we did this 3 times I mean I moved back in with that friend and when I asked her to move out, she moved me back to my grandparents promising things would change, but they didn't.

 

[ajkroy]

Why, specifically, an IUD? What form of birth control do you use now? Would she compromise if you were willing to get the arm implant?

 

[Kaybugg]

No she won't compromise I tried that. And I'm not so m worried about the car as much as I am a way out.. I don't think I can last 8 more months.

 

[xylene]

Your mom setting conditions to have a car is not emotional abuse.

You should consider getting an IUD given you are a sexually active minor with multiple sex partners and living part time with one of them.

 

[Silverplum]

No she won't compromise I tried that. And I'm not so m worried about the car as much as I am a way out.. I don't think I can last 8 more months.

Mature grownups "can last" for 8 months.

 

[Kaybugg]

The car is not the emotional abuse, and I haven't been sexually active since the guy I was with and I broke up. Almost a year and a half ago. Being emotionally abused everyday, I think I have the right to say I can't make it much longer here.

 

[Zigner]

The car is not the emotional abuse, and I haven't been sexually active since the guy I was with and I broke up. Almost a year and a half ago. Being emotionally abused everyday, I think I have the right to say I can't make it much longer here.

If you feel you are being abused, report it to a teacher, guidance counselor, police officer, clergy-person, therapist, etc. But, before you get everyone (including yourself) wrapped up in such a matter, please be aware that what you have described is NOT abuse, it's parenting.

 

[Kaybugg]

I just don't want to post everything she does online in fear of someone else reporting it and the law finding out an coming here. I don't want her to get in trouble, I love my mother and always will, but the things she does should not be done to any child. In fact I know people who have been taken from their homes because their parents did what my mother does.

 

[CdwJava]

We hear such claims of "abuse" from many, many, MANY teenagers. I read about them here in these forums, others, and in real life. As a parent and teacher, I have heard those claims bantered about frequently and, very often, they are simply the machinations of teen angst and drama. What you may be considering "abuse" may be nothing more than good - or even bad - parenting. But, it is very likely NOT something that would allow the authorities to take action.

But, if you ARE being abused physically, or legally neglected, you can contact child services, the police, a counselor, etc. for assistance. That might include placement in foster care or a group home until matters are resolved, but, they can help you address the situation and receive counseling.

Frankly, any mother that would let her then 15 year old daughter (likely younger) spend nights away with her boyfriend hooking up is doing doing a crappy job as a parent to begin with. You'd probably be better off with another parental figure, but, since the options you are almost certainly considering are friends and not people who will give you guidance and direction - and hold out consequences for misguided behavior - I doubt that is where you are headed.

The bottom line is that it might be possible for your friends to get in trouble if you stay with them against mom's wishes before you are 18. If mom allows you to stay somewhere else, you're golden. It's stupid, but not illegal ... unless something happens to you in which case mom might get in trouble. But, wait the 8 months then leave with whatever she lets you take and you can begin to make your own decisions - and mistakes - all you want.

 

[quincy]

My state is Florida ... I have friends that are willing o harbor me if I runaway, but I don't want them to get into trouble ...

Your friends can be charged with a first degree misdemeanor for sheltering you in defiance of your mom's wishes, without your friends first notifying law enforcement where exactly you are being sheltered.

Here is a link to the applicable Florida Statute, 985.731: http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0900-0999/0985/sections/0985.731.html

 

[Kaybugg]

But would the officer come take me back if said friend told them I was with her ? She has told me she will come get me and tell my mother who she is an where we're going, but can my mother call the cops on her ?

 

[cbg]

Your friend does not have custody of you - your mother has custody of you. So Mom saying, Bring her home, trumps your friend saying, it's okay, she's with me.

It is, in fact, NOT okay. If mom says you go home, then you go home.

 

[quincy]

But would the officer come take me back if said friend told them I was with her ? She has told me she will come get me and tell my mother who she is an where we're going, but can my mother call the cops on her ?

It is possible that you would not be returned to your mother, even if your mother calls the police to report you as a runaway. It depends on the facts.

 

[LdiJ]

My state is Florida. My mother and I have grown apart from the start of about two years ago. She always went to stay with her boyfriend and let me do whatever I wanted, including staying with mine. I was heart broken about it for a while, but I learned to live with it. I ended up staying with a friend of mine for about a month straight this past January, and I asked her if I could move out since she's never home, but she denied me and made me go back to my grandparents saying everything would change. We did this about three times before she banned me from seeing my friend at all. I'll be 18 in 8 months, but I cannot handle the emotional abuse she puts me through for that much longer. At the beginning of this month she bought a house right by her boyfriends house, and moved me in. She yells at me every single day. Yes I've made mistakes, what teenager doesn't? But she restricts me from doing absolutely anything. She won't even let me get a job or let me have my car back unless I get an IUD put inside of me. I don't know if I will honestly make it 8 more months. I can't go from her separating herself from me to suddenly wanting me back in the house just so she doesn't get into any trouble because of me. I know she loves me, but the stress I go through everyday is breaking me down slowly. I have friends that are willing o harbor me if I runaway, but I don't want them to get into trouble... Please please please help me. I don't know what to do.

Clearly, your mother is worried about you getting pregnant, and therefore she wants to restrict you unless you are willing to go on birth control. Go on birth control and that will obviously ease her mind and therefore she will ease your restrictions.

You live where your mother tells you to live until you are 18.