Pregnant wife is taking cocaine

[James Frank]

I have absolutely no idea who to turn to for advice, but google sent me here so I figured I would give it a shot. My state is Alabama. I recently found out my wife has been taking cocaine. Shortly after we found out she was pregnant, and she said she would not be doing cocaine anymore. Tonight I found a short straw with white power residue on the inside in her purse. I have been very unhappy with her as both a wife and mother of our 5 year old, and I believe this may be the last straw. Despite all of the unhappiness, I've always told myself I would just stick it out because I feared losing custody. Without telling the whole long story, let's just say she is not fit to have custody. I can't let that happen under any circumstances. What should I do? Should I call the police about this drug paraphernalia?

 

[quincy]

I have absolutely no idea who to turn to for advice, but google sent me here so I figured I would give it a shot. My state is Alabama. I recently found out my wife has been taking cocaine. Shortly after we found out she was pregnant, and she said she would not be doing cocaine anymore. Tonight I found a short straw with white power residue on the inside in her purse. I have been very unhappy with her as both a wife and mother of our 5 year old, and I believe this may be the last straw. Despite all of the unhappiness, I've always told myself I would just stick it out because I feared losing custody. Without telling the whole long story, let's just say she is not fit to have custody. I can't let that happen under any circumstances. What should I do? Should I call the police about this drug paraphernalia?

Yes. You can call the police and report your wife's drug possession and use.

Best case scenario is your wife either voluntarily enters or is placed in a treatment center for at least the duration of her pregnancy.

During the time one of my babies was in the neonatal intensive care unit (she was premature), we saw several babies who were born to drug-addicted moms. These babies had some pretty severe health problems as a result. You do not want this for your baby.

You want to protect your 5 year old. You will want to protect your unborn child. And you should want to help your wife become drug-free (as much as it is in your power to do so) so she can be a good parent to your children. You should want this whether your marriage survives this challenge or not.

Good luck.

 

[deanzach]

This must be reported so you can still have time to have her recovered and completely stop the addiction.

 

[stealth2]

And do not leave the 5yo alone in her care.

 

[LdiJ]

And do not leave the 5yo alone in her care.

If its cocaine that may not really be dangerous. However if its meth rather than cocaine then it would be very dangerous.

 

[LdiJ]

I have absolutely no idea who to turn to for advice, but google sent me here so I figured I would give it a shot. My state is Alabama. I recently found out my wife has been taking cocaine. Shortly after we found out she was pregnant, and she said she would not be doing cocaine anymore. Tonight I found a short straw with white power residue on the inside in her purse. I have been very unhappy with her as both a wife and mother of our 5 year old, and I believe this may be the last straw. Despite all of the unhappiness, I've always told myself I would just stick it out because I feared losing custody. Without telling the whole long story, let's just say she is not fit to have custody. I can't let that happen under any circumstances. What should I do? Should I call the police about this drug paraphernalia?

How do you know that it wasn't in her purse from a very long time ago?

When we found that kind of paraphernalia in the room of a young cousin of ours who was staying with us, we had our family doctor send it off for testing to find out exactly what it was before we confronted him about it.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I have absolutely no idea who to turn to for advice, but google sent me here so I figured I would give it a shot. My state is Alabama. I recently found out my wife has been taking cocaine. Shortly after we found out she was pregnant, and she said she would not be doing cocaine anymore. Tonight I found a short straw with white power residue on the inside in her purse. I have been very unhappy with her as both a wife and mother of our 5 year old, and I believe this may be the last straw. Despite all of the unhappiness, I've always told myself I would just stick it out because I feared losing custody. Without telling the whole long story, let's just say she is not fit to have custody. I can't let that happen under any circumstances. What should I do? Should I call the police about this drug paraphernalia?

Frankly, if you do nothing then you are condoning her actions, and you *should* lose custody.

You need to report this, and you need to protect your 5 year old, and get help for your unborn child.

 

[commentator]

James Frank, examine deeply your own behaviors and motives. People rarely ever have a relationship with people who do not share at least some common interests with them. do you, or have you in the past, done cocaine and other drugs with your wife? Do you and she drink together? Do you have any problems that need to be addressed? Are you a good father? Why do you say you "feared losing custody?"

If your wife is undeniably doing drugs, who is supposed to be taking care of your five year old at the present time? If you need to, change some of your personal habits in order to move her out of the picture somewhat and improve your chances of taking custody and being a good father, not to mention your unborn child's chances of survival and avoiding lifetime damage. You need to do whatever that takes. If it involves quitting your own undesirable behaviors, set a good example for your wife and child, and doing all that in conjunction with whatever else you do.

Yes, meth is a very bad thing for pregnant women to do. So is alcohol. So is cocaine. None are good for the baby. Lasting damage to this new person is likely. You need to report her and get this stopped. You can't threaten her and jack with her and believe an addict's promises. If she wants to, she WILL do it again. She in a sense cannot help it, it is her current nature. She definitely needs a treatment program. Alabama isn't a great state for social services and addiction treatment, but the police and those in agencies will know more about these programs that may be available for her. I repeat, who's taking care of the child you have now? Are you a good father? Should you have custody?

 

[stealth2]

If its cocaine that may not really be dangerous. However if its meth rather than cocaine then it would be very dangerous.

While true, OP's allowing her to care for the child sends the message that he considers her safe to do so. You know this, L.

 

[LdiJ]

While true, OP's allowing her to care for the child sends the message that he considers her safe to do so. You know this, L.

I do, but I would really like to see him get the straw and residue tested before he turns everything into a major war.

 

[Ohiogal]

If its cocaine that may not really be dangerous. However if its meth rather than cocaine then it would be very dangerous.

Are you KIDDING ME? Cocaine may not be really be dangerous? Boy are you stretching to defend the mother here. Why is that? And mom can be arrested for a straw with residue on it even if it is a year old. It is still possession. Mom needs to go to jail and rehab. INPATIENT.

 

[Ohiogal]

If its cocaine that may not really be dangerous. However if its meth rather than cocaine then it would be very dangerous.

The WOMAN IS PREGNANT ... Try learning and not being ignorant:
https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/cocaine/what-are-effects-maternal-cocaine-use

Nope. Not dangerous at all. Just could cause preterm labor or miscarriage (otherwise known as a spontaneous abortion) but heck NOT DANGEROUS.

ETA: And meth is pretty much the same. So meth is very dangerous but cocaine is "not really". FAKE NEWS! Here are the facts:
https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/methamphetamine/what-are-risks-methamphetamine-abuse-during-pregnancy

 

[justalayman]

I do, but I would really like to see him get the straw and residue tested before he turns everything into a major war.

So ya think the gal has been snorting powdered sugar? Some things are fairly obvious and while testing would prove it, the guy knows she does coke. The wife acknowledges that and had sworn to stopping, at least during pregnancy. Whether it is coke or some other drug is really irrelevent.

The only real question is it from current usage or a remnant from a prior time.

I would hesitate getting the police involved. If it’s old stuff it means she might go to jail for something she actually stopped doing. That just isn’t right.

There are drug testing kits avalable for home use. I would allow the wife to prove she isn’t using if she claims to be clean.

And cocaine is safe for a kid?

Prenatal exposure is not safe (if that was your inference). There many very serious results from prenatal exposed. If you are talking about the older child; it wouldn’t be a surprise to see a 5 year old rummaging in mommy’s purse where the loose powder can get on the child’s hands and end up in their mouth. A straw can be an attractive toy for a child as well.

 

[Ohiogal]

I do, but I would really like to see him get the straw and residue tested before he turns everything into a major war.

She used ILLEGAL drugs and he found a straw with white powder. Why should he take a risk? If mom is arrested and the police or CSB are involved, they can at least to attempt to safeguard the unborn child and the living child will also be protected. She is a drug addict. But he should get the straw and residue tested? RIDICULOUS. What do you think it is? Baking powder? Flour?

 

[Ohiogal]

So ya think the gal has been snorting powdered sugar? Some things are fairly obvious and while testing would prove it, the guy knows she does coke. The wife acknowledges that and had sworn to stopping, at least during pregnancy. Whether it is coke or some other drug is really irrelevent.

The only real question is it from current usage or a remnant from a prior time.

I would hesitate getting the police involved. If it’s old stuff it means she might go to jail for something she actually stopped doing. That just isn’t right.

There are drug testing kits avalable for home use. I would allow the wife to prove she isn’t using if she claims to be clean.

And cocaine is safe for a kid?

Prenatal exposure is not safe (if that was your inference). There many very serious results from prenatal exposed. If you are talking about the older child; it wouldn’t be a surprise to see a 5 year old rummaging in mommy’s purse where the loose powder can get on the child’s hands and end up in their mouth. A straw can be an attractive toy for a child as well.

Well it is mom that was using so LD will bend over backwards to protect her. If it was dad using marijuana she would be screaming to keep the kid away because BROWNIES and danger and whatever.