what do i do?

[ClevelandE94]

i am from Columbus ohio. i have an ex who is very controlling and vindictive. ive tried to leave him twice and both times i tried, hes called children services and made up stories so that my son wasn't allowed to stay with me, but stay with him. (its not even his son) so then the only choice i had was to go back to him to make him stop. i tried again recently and he threatened my life. i just got off the phone with children services that hes calling again and making up more stuff. what can i do to get him to stop. would a restraining order be okay or should i do something else. please help!

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

I think a longer, in person, conversation with a supervisor at Child Services would be your smart move. They should have a record of all the reports he made and I assume they were all found to be without merit so you can then explain when and why he makes these calls.

If you don't get the sort of response you want from Child Services contact a lawyer.

 

[ClevelandE94]

i have a meeting with her on Thursday to talk about everything and show her all the proof ive got. only problem with the lawyer thing is money..

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

If you work it out with Child Services you won't need a lawyer. If you don't work it out write down what the CS worker thinks the issue is and add it to this thread.

Good luck.

 

[Zigner]

If children's services was called, they would do an investigation. What were the findings of those investigations?

 

[quincy]

i am from Columbus ohio. i have an ex who is very controlling and vindictive. ive tried to leave him twice and both times i tried,hes called children services and made up stories so that my son wasn't allowed to stay with me, but stay with him. (its not even his son) so then the only choice i had was to go back to him to make him stop. i tried again recently and he threatened my life. i just got off the phone with children services that hes calling again and making up more stuff. what can i do to get him to stop. would a restraining order be okay or should i do something else. please help!

What is your ex's legal relationship to your son? Or is there no legal relationship?

I am surprised that Child Services would allow your ex to care for your son during an investigation.

You can seek assistance through a domestic violence organization in your area. They can help you in filing for a restraining order.

 

[ClevelandE94]

my issue isn't really the children services part. i know me and my son will be okay as far as that goes. my issue is how do i get this to stop. how do i get him to leave me alone. i cant keep going through this. and every time i go back to him because i don't know what else to do.. but i cant anymore. i cant keep putting myself and my kid through this. and no. he has no legal right over my son.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Once you talk to Children Services and get it clear with them move out. That day if possible. If he calls CS in response you should already have moved yourself and the child and a contact at CS for whatever caseworker contacts you.

 

[quincy]

my issue isn't really the children services part. i know me and my son will be okay as far as that goes. my issue is how do i get this to stop. how do i get him to leave me alone. i cant keep going through this. and every time i go back to him because i don't know what else to do.. but i cant anymore. i cant keep putting myself and my kid through this. and no. he has no legal right over my son.

You can get your ex to stop by getting a restraining order.

 

[Ohiogal]

You can get your ex to stop by getting a restraining order.

A restraining order cannot stop him from calling CPS/CSB/DJFS to report child neglect or abuse. The agency however could file a criminal complaint with the prosecutor's office for the false calls.

 

[quincy]

A restraining order cannot stop him from calling CPS/CSB/DJFS to report child neglect or abuse. The agency however could file a criminal complaint with the prosecutor's office for the false calls.

I understand that but I can see where my post wasn't clear.

I was addressing her "how do I get him to leave me alone" comment. A restraining order can keep him from contacting her - but it won't prevent contact by Child Services if he makes additional complaints.

Thanks for making this clearer.

 

[LdiJ]

my issue isn't really the children services part. i know me and my son will be okay as far as that goes. my issue is how do i get this to stop. how do i get him to leave me alone. i cant keep going through this. and every time i go back to him because i don't know what else to do.. but i cant anymore. i cant keep putting myself and my kid through this. and no. he has no legal right over my son.

Then what you need to do is get in touch with a local women's shelter. Explain your problem and ask for help in exiting the relationship. They will help you out with an exit strategy and help. Do NOT leave without your son. Just because he calls Children's Services does not mean that you have to leave your son with him. In fact, you could even ask a relative to take care of your son for a few days so that your son is out of the house when you exit.

 

[quincy]

I am still curious about the ex's relationship to the son. I find it odd that CPS would allow him to watch the boy.

 

[Just Blue]

my issue isn't really the children services part. i know me and my son will be okay as far as that goes. my issue is how do i get this to stop. how do i get him to leave me alone. i cant keep going through this. and every time i go back to him because i don't know what else to do.. but i cant anymore. i cant keep putting myself and my kid through this. and no. he has no legal right over my son.

Please clarify the relationship both legal and emotional. Is he listed on the BC in ANY way? Does the child call him Dad?

 

[Just Blue]

i am from Columbus ohio. i have an ex who is very controlling and vindictive. ive tried to leave him twice and both times i tried, hes called children services and made up stories so that my son wasn't allowed to stay with me, but stay with him. (its not even his son) so then the only choice i had was to go back to him to make him stop. i tried again recently and he threatened my life. i just got off the phone with children services that hes calling again and making up more stuff. what can i do to get him to stop. would a restraining order be okay or should i do something else. please help!

OhioGal is an Attorney/Gal in ...wait for it...OHIO!!

So what you should do is ask OG questions and pay special consideration to her replies.