Changes in child custody order

[Rose143]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My son’s father and I have had a custody and visitation agreement since he was about 7 months old. We have joint custody and I am the custodial parent. He has stated he does not want to make any legal or medical decisions for our child.

My son has attended the same daycare since he was 3 months old. After our son turned 1, his father started overnight visitation once a week. He was to pick our son up from daycare Mondays at 10am and return him Tuesdays at 3pm. Also he had visitation on Thursday’s 10am to 3pm. Well recently my son’s father was asked not to return to the premises due to his behavior and lack of following rules or court orders. There was also a police report filed by the private daycare owner. I attempted to make other arrangements with him, so that he is still able to get our son but unfortunately he stated that didn’t work for him. He expects someone to meet him on his visitation days at the previous times listed. I work full time which makes it impossible. My arrangement suggestion was he could meet me after I got off work, around 6pm or before I went to work around 7am to exchange our son. He does not work, therefore he provides no additional support for our child. My question is am I still responsible for upholding the custody agreement since he was banned from our child’s daycare where he was suppose to pick up our child? What can I do to insure I’m not held in contempt? I do not want to change my child’s childcare seeing that he is comfortable there and he is well taken care of.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My son’s father and I have had a custody and visitation agreement since he was about 7 months old. We have joint custody and I am the custodial parent. He has stated he does not want to make any legal or medical decisions for our child.

My son has attended the same daycare since he was 3 months old. After our son turned 1, his father started overnight visitation once a week. He was to pick our son up from daycare Mondays at 10am and return him Tuesdays at 3pm. Also he had visitation on Thursday’s 10am to 3pm. Well recently my son’s father was asked not to return to the premises due to his behavior and lack of following rules or court orders. There was also a police report filed by the private daycare owner. I attempted to make other arrangements with him, so that he is still able to get our son but unfortunately he stated that didn’t work for him. He expects someone to meet him on his visitation days at the previous times listed. I work full time which makes it impossible. My arrangement suggestion was he could meet me after I got off work, around 6pm or before I went to work around 7am to exchange our son. He does not work, therefore he provides no additional support for our child. My question is am I still responsible for upholding the custody agreement since he was banned from our child’s daycare where he was suppose to pick up our child? What can I do to insure I’m not held in contempt? I do not want to change my child’s childcare seeing that he is comfortable there and he is well taken care of.

No, you are not responsible for the fact that his behavior caused him to be banned from the daycare center. What you can do is file for a modification of visitation based on the fact that he got banned from the daycare center and therefore the current schedule is no longer possible.

 

[HRZ]

laymansview: AT least as posted, dad got himself banned from day care and presumably could get arrested if he sets foot there ...he created his problem ..let him explain it to judge if such is his desire

In the meantime Just as a layman I would suggest you paper a path that says he can pick up and return his child at your location at times XX or he can provide a adult approved by you and paid by him to pick up / return child to day care at regular time or you will consider any licensed day care within the same distance / time from your home where he is not banned and he pays costs of same ( for all days..not in toddlers best interest to make him a ping pong ball. )

 

[LdiJ]

laymansview: AT least as posted, dad got himself banned from day care and presumably could get arrested if he sets foot there ...he created his problem ..let him explain it to judge if such is his desire

In the meantime Just as a layman I would suggest you paper a path that says he can pick up and return his child at your location at times XX or he can provide a adult approved by you and paid by him to pick up / return child to day care at regular time or you will consider any licensed day care within the same distance / time from your home where he is not banned and he pays costs of same ( for all days..not in toddlers best interest to make him a ping pong ball. )

I do not agree with her offering to change daycare centers. I think that is really bad advice.

 

[HRZ]

No, I meant if he found one nearby and paid for it ...I meant it in context that Mom was making multiple solutions possible to Dad

The current schedule most certainly is possible...all Dad needs to do is arrange for a 3d party ( adult ) to pick up and drop off the child ....he is the one who created the problem..he holds key to solving his own problem ...

 

[t74]

If he is indeed not paying child support, file for it.

 

[Rose143]

If he is indeed not paying child support, file for it.

I have already filed. He stopped working so he wouldn’t have to pay.

 

[Rose143]

No, I meant if he found one nearby and paid for it ...I meant it in context that Mom was making multiple solutions possible to Dad

The current schedule most certainly is possible...all Dad needs to do is arrange for a 3d party ( adult ) to pick up and drop off the child ....he is the one who created the problem..he holds key to solving his own problem ...

Well since the incident took place he, his family, and any third parties have also been asked not to return to the facility. It’s a private in home facility and due to threats and false accusations that were made on the child care provider, she has decided not to deal with him at all. So that’s why I offered to meet him or a third party before or after work. So his visitation could be excersised.

 

[LdiJ]

Well since the incident took place he, his family, and any third parties have also been asked not to return to the facility. It’s a private in home facility and due to threats and false accusations that were made on the child care provider, she has decided not to deal with him at all. So that’s why I offered to meet him or a third party before or after work. So his visitation could be excersised.

In that case, a judge might actually order you to find a new daycare provider. It is not reasonable that the daycare provider is banning all members of his family plus any third parties associated with him.

 

[HRZ]

I agree that a daycare that bans 3d parties from drop off of pick up may become your problem to find a different provider ...in your shoes I'd try hard to have provider allow drop off and pick up by unrelated 3d parties that Dad engages . Many a child is picked up or dropped off by a non parent

As an aside , deliberately stopping work may not serve Dad well in court if you can prove he " quit "

 

[Rose143]

As of yesterday he refuses to return our child to me. I’ve already filed a police report. Is there anything else I can do?

 

[HRZ]

I'd still,seek that day care provider allow 3d party pick up and drop off so that visitation "excuse" is not in Dads back pocket

Dad is wrong and likely to face contempt if you push that button, but old story of 2 wrongs do not equal 1 right ....and as others post, your provider you picked puts you on hot seat to assure allowing exercise of visitation rights

 

[Rose143]

I'd still,seek that day care provider allow 3d party pick up and drop off so that visitation "excuse" is not in Dads back pocket

Dad is wrong and likely to face contempt if you push that button, but old story of 2 wrongs do not equal 1 right ....and as others post, your provider you picked puts you on hot seat to assure allowing exercise of visitation rights

Since posting, my sister and mother have agreed to be the mediator and will meet to exchange our child on specified days and times until we can go back to court.

 

[HRZ]

Have you physically attempted to pic with custodial parents rights is a criminal issue in TX actually a felony , but apparently most local jurisdictions seek to treat it as a civil dispute

 

[LdiJ]

As of yesterday he refuses to return our child to me. I’ve already filed a police report. Is there anything else I can do?

You need to try to pick up the child from him. Call the cops while you are there if he refuses to give you the child. If he still will not give you the child, then you need to file an emergency motion in court asking the court to order the police to assist you in retrieving the child.