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Threatening behaviour and Emotional Abuse

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Hi, Im a 22 year old with a 4 month old daughter. I have split with her dad 6 months ago due to Threatening behaviour towards me. I had to leave because i didn't want him to like that towards our daughter. After having her i made the mistake with getting back with him but as abusive people usually cant change so it started again. I had to leave him because i now had my daughter to think about. So after that he decided to come meet me at a cafe every sunday near where i live, unfortunately, he started manipulating me and saying everything that had happened was all my fault so i started to believe it, i then became miserable because of it so i spoke out and told my close ones what was happening. So i told him i no longer wanted to see or speak to him. I told him i would find supervised contact so he could see his daughter if he wanted to. I contacted my health visitor who is in process of trying to organise it for me. I had recently blocked him off all social media but, he found a way in contacting me by using his friends facebook account and messaging of off theirs, however again he was very threatening told me to sort out contact as soon as but in a nasty way. i felt like i had to respond so i did but i realise now i shouldn't have because it feeds him. Please could i have advice on what to do next as it really upsets me he does this to me. He should know better as he is supposed to be a father. Please help
 


HRZ

Senior Member
Is he ordered to pay CS and is he paying as ordered? IF not, get moving on securing economic support for child by court order.

He will be less able to manipulate you if you tune him out!
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
Hi, Im a 22 year old with a 4 month old daughter. I have split with her dad 6 months ago due to Threatening behaviour towards me. I had to leave because i didn't want him to like that towards our daughter. After having her i made the mistake with getting back with him but as abusive people usually cant change so it started again. I had to leave him because i now had my daughter to think about. So after that he decided to come meet me at a cafe every sunday near where i live, unfortunately, he started manipulating me and saying everything that had happened was all my fault so i started to believe it, i then became miserable because of it so i spoke out and told my close ones what was happening. So i told him i no longer wanted to see or speak to him. I told him i would find supervised contact so he could see his daughter if he wanted to. I contacted my health visitor who is in process of trying to organise it for me. I had recently blocked him off all social media but, he found a way in contacting me by using his friends facebook account and messaging of off theirs, however again he was very threatening told me to sort out contact as soon as but in a nasty way. i felt like i had to respond so i did but i realise now i shouldn't have because it feeds him. Please could i have advice on what to do next as it really upsets me he does this to me. He should know better as he is supposed to be a father. Please help
What you need to tell him to do is to take you to court to establish paternity, custody, parenting time and child support if he wishes to see his child. If he chooses to proceed with taking you to court, then that means he is serious about being a father. If he just wants to harass you, he won't take you to court. After you tell him that, have NO communication with him at all.

If and when he files, come back and ask for more advice as to how to proceed.
,
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
Hi, Im a 22 year old with a 4 month old daughter. I have split with her dad 6 months ago due to Threatening behaviour towards me. I had to leave because i didn't want him to like that towards our daughter. After having her i made the mistake with getting back with him but as abusive people usually cant change so it started again. I had to leave him because i now had my daughter to think about. So after that he decided to come meet me at a cafe every sunday near where i live, unfortunately, he started manipulating me and saying everything that had happened was all my fault so i started to believe it, i then became miserable because of it so i spoke out and told my close ones what was happening. So i told him i no longer wanted to see or speak to him. I told him i would find supervised contact so he could see his daughter if he wanted to. I contacted my health visitor who is in process of trying to organise it for me. I had recently blocked him off all social media but, he found a way in contacting me by using his friends facebook account and messaging of off theirs, however again he was very threatening told me to sort out contact as soon as but in a nasty way. i felt like i had to respond so i did but i realise now i shouldn't have because it feeds him. Please could i have advice on what to do next as it really upsets me he does this to me. He should know better as he is supposed to be a father. Please help
What did he threaten you with? Bodily harm? Harm to your child? What, exactly, was the threat?
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
threats to take the child away from ms and take her abroad and awful messages which were threatening towards me.
"Awful" messages can mean a lot of different things. Did he threaten to harm you physically? Not just be rude, or using profanity, but did he threaten to harm you?

Also, what US state are you in?
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
I live in the England, UK and i dont really wanna remember what he said i just wanted some advice is all. but thanks
I'm afraid we can't advise you, as this forum deals with US law only. (And the reason I was asking WHAT the "threat" was so we could advise about protection orders.)
 
thats stupid US laws only lol what a joke. Didnt say that when i signed up. pathetic post then. whats so special about us to the uk? so uk people cant get help and advice????
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
thats stupid US laws only lol what a joke. Didnt say that when i signed up. pathetic post then. whats so special about us to the uk? so uk people cant get help and advice????
Victoria22, there is NO need to be rude. What you don't understand is this: the laws between countries can be very, very different. Heck, laws between US states are different enough that the forum asks up front "what US State". It would be irresponsible to try to give someone from the UK advice based off of US laws.
 
well it looked like it said us state which i first read and didnt understand and i dont want relationship advice when im not in one! just saying
 
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