How to change visitation order to include third parties

[LdiJ]

I may have missed it and am not inclined to reread the thread to see, but how much time are we talking about between the ordered time and your availability? Are we talking a few hours or overnight/a day? Is daughter in any actual danger by spending that extra time? How often does this occur? Honestly? If you take it to court (vs coming to an agreement w/Mom), I can see Mom requesting (and very possibly receiving, especially if the time is not significant) right of first refusal.

I would normally agree with you, and in fact thought to bring it up once or twice in this thread, but mom just got off supervised visitation so I do not think its very likely in this particular scenario.

 

[HRZ]

i agree you need to pick the battles worth fighting .
Does Ex have a license and an car?
IF one takes an exact read of the language and apply it to the pick up ( and make sure you are there ) and delay a pick up while BF is present then the ball in Moms lap to fight or adjust . MOm may lack the wherewithall to engage a serious fight over a silly point ...sometimes negioation is not about what you want but what the other person does not want . But as others post IF this is an infrequent problem I'd not force a fight , you have more to lose than she does. She might gain RFR.

BTW does she actually come by for a drop off and then leave upon finding you not there ...or does she merely assume you are not there ....rather easy to bag her if she is assuming you are not there., merely by arranging to be there at supposed drop off time from time to time ...take a 1/2 day wo telling her? ( If she doesn't provide you with a working phone number how do you tell her you are there ?)

Dont confuse her duty to pay CS with her rights for visitation per order. MY suggestion is let the arrears pile up...address them later if at all. i

There might be safety concerns if daughter's location is unknown ...but it's probably a weak point by itself just now

 

[stealth2]

I did go back, and apparently, it is for one hour, occasionally. I foresee Dad spending $5k for Mom to get an extra hour if Dad is working.

 

[Carminaav]

I have tried numerous times to come up with a solution. I only ask for this to drop of my daughter when I am not home i do not have a set schedule. She says “Ok and comes to the house, up to the door and walks away. I don’t have a “right of refusal” clause. What I find it wrong is that if it bothers her that much why doesn’t she present a solution to the problem instead of just doing this . In this situation I offered a solution in front of police she agreed, officers said I’ll still on the clock at return time in the event you refuse to return her home after visitation. She said she was fine she’ll return her to my mother When she had to return the child is when she felt she could apply the 3rd party rule to me and yelled at my mother “No 3rd party, yet her BF is in the car. I got the minutes It only states no 3rd party at exchanges or present during SUPERVISED visitation”. This is not a supervised that’s what’s mind blowing. No specific orders for unsupervised. Unsupervised was the judges incentive offered to her to complete her 52weeks battery program that was ordered in 2015 and was completed 2 months ago.

I would normally agree with you, and in fact thought to bring it up once or twice in this thread, but mom just got off supervised visitation so I do not think its very likely in this particular scenario.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I may have missed it and am not inclined to reread the thread to see, but how much time are we talking about between the ordered time and your availability? Are we talking a few hours or overnight/a day? Is daughter in any actual danger by spending that extra time? How often does this occur? Honestly? If you take it to court (vs coming to an agreement w/Mom), I can see Mom requesting (and very possibly receiving, especially if the time is not significant) right of first refusal.

OP has stated in some cases, it's been an hour.

Mom wouldn't leave the kid with grandma, who OP lives with, because she is a third party. But since Dad doesn't have an address for Mom, and Mom doesn't respond to calls/texts in these cases, it is not so easy for Dad to just pick up the kid when he gets home from work.

 

[Carminaav]

My point is in my eyes this is petty, the “I don’t want to leave her with your mom.” attitude and maybe the idea of allowing her to retun the child when I get off work however since she has shuts off he

OP has stated in some cases, it's been an hour.

Mom wouldn't leave the kid with grandma, who OP lives with, because she is a third party. But since Dad doesn't have an address for Mom, and Mom doesn't respond to calls/texts in these cases, it is not so easy for Dad to just pick up the kid when he gets home from work.

EXACLTY . I can’t even comunitcate with my child to hear her to know she’s fine.

 

[Ohiogal]

File a motion to show cause against mom for not following the court order. She is not supervised on visitation anymore and she has withheld your child from you during your custodial time. The no third party rule was for MOM not to bring third parties to supervised visits. That is how it is written. So file a motion to show cause and ask the court to hold mom in contempt for withholding your child to the point you have had to get police involved to find her.

 

[Zigner]

I told the OP the same thing (but in less detail) on Wednesday.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

File a motion to show cause against mom for not following the court order. She is not supervised on visitation anymore and she has withheld your child from you during your custodial time. The no third party rule was for MOM not to bring third parties to supervised visits. That is how it is written. So file a motion to show cause and ask the court to hold mom in contempt for withholding your child to the point you have had to get police involved to find her.

And that really is THE answer to the OPs issue.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I told the OP the same thing (but in less detail) on Wednesday.

Yes. And then other people post trying to befuddle the issue. OP need not (and should not) try to equal Mom's bad behavior; two wrongs don't make a right, and in fact following such advice would hurt OP's credibility.

 

[Just Blue]

My point is in my eyes this is petty, the “I don’t want to leave her with your mom.” attitude and maybe the idea of allowing her to retun the child when I get off work however since she has shuts off he

EXACLTY . I can’t even comunitcate with my child to hear her to know she’s fine.

Sorry if you have already mentioned this...but how old is your child? Is your child old enough to have a cell phone?

Also...who did the ex assault causing the supervised visitation for such a long time?