Assult happened but never called the cops. But he was arrested

[Tpatzo]

she don't believe me. He does have 1 prior assult charge. This will hurt him. She thinks their isn't enough evidence for them to prosecute the case.

 

[Just Blue]

ya ya spelling. I'm trying to tell her they can still press charges even if the cops weren't called. Even if she didn't give the name at the hospital.

Please have her join this site, with her own user name, so we can advise her directly. That may have more impact with her.

 

[cbg]

If she doesn't want to believe you, what difference does it make? It isn't going to change the truth if she believes something that isn't true.

 

[NeilTheCop]

Fixed it. There is nothing "normal" about being an abuser or a victim. And as much as we'd wish that DV didn't exist, we certainly don't want to give the impression that male victims are "abnormal"! (Calling abusers of any gender "abnormal", in the sense that abuse is unacceptable, is another thing. )

There are statistical records - "usually" when those reported exceed 50% of the cases.

Back to Patzo: "Sisters before misters." If your boyfriend is slapping around his other honey in Minnesota, ditch him and get therapy. Most self-respecting women would rather play second banana to no one.

My post simply meant that normally the protagonist was the male and the normally the victim was the female.
Perhaps I should not have used the word normally but instead;
"It has been my personal experience that in the majority of domestic disturbance incidents that I responded to as a police officer, the male subject was often the person doing the hitting and the female subject was often the one getting hit"
Is that more palatable?

 

[stealth2]

assault, btw.

Frankly, none of your business.

And, you and your girlfriend seem to have equally abysmal pickers when it comes to your choice of men.

 

[not2cleverRed]

She don't want to leave. She wants him to be out of jail. He does have 1 prior assult charge to. This won't look good. She's going to tell the courts that her brother don't like her bf and made it up to get him arrested. She thinks cause she didn't call the cops that their isn't enough evidence

And that's quite typical of someone in her situation.

Which is why I advised you to look up resources local to her, and make sure that you can be there emotionally when she is ready to leave.

My post simply meant that normally the protagonist was the male and the normally the victim was the female.
Perhaps I should not have used the word normally but instead;
"It has been my personal experience that in the majority of domestic disturbance incidents that I responded to as a police officer, the male subject was often the person doing the hitting and the female subject was often the one getting hit"
Is that more palatable?

Yes. That is more palatable.

I think we can agree that normal men are not abusive.
I think that we can agree, that although reported less often, when a man is abused that does not mean he is abnormal, less of a man, some freak of nature.

 

[Tpatzo]

And that's quite typical of someone in her situation.

Which is why I advised you to look up resources local to her, and make sure that you can be there emotionally when she is ready to leave.



Yes. That is more palatable.

I think we can agree that normal men are not abusive.
I think that we can agree, that although reported less often, when a man is abused that does not mean he is abnormal, less of a man, some freak of nature.

yes she was the victim. Her joining the site won't help. She don't believe they don't have enough evidence.

 

[cbg]

It doesn't matter what she believes. The truth is the truth whether she believes it or not, and her refusal to believe it does not make it untrue.

The cops do not need her permission or approval to arrest him; the DA does not need her permission or approval to prosecute. If she believes otherwise and they go ahead, well, she'll get rather a rude shock but that isn't the issue. If she perjures herself she can be charged for it.

But all of this is ultimately none of your legal business. You can try to persuade her all you want but in the end, she's going to do what she's going to do and if it backfires on her, there's nothing you can do about that.

 

[not2cleverRed]

yes she was the victim. Her joining the site won't help. She don't believe they don't have enough evidence.

I am not asking that she join this site. She is not emotionally ready to leave her abuser.

I am suggesting that you google "Minnesota domestic violence resources" and get educated on how to help her.

 

[Just Blue]

I am not asking that she join this site. She is not emotionally ready to leave her abuser.

I am suggesting that you google "Minnesota domestic violence resources" and get educated on how to help her.

I was the one to suggest she join.

 

[Tpatzo]

I'm still unsure of what to tell her. Shes going to try to toss her brother under the bus and say he's lying. He has a negative piss test. If she does this the court might need to subpoena her brother maybe I don't know. She thinks sense she had no cop involvement and didn't call the cops on him they can't prove it. Yes she went to the hospital.

 

[cbg]

You don't need to tell her anything at all. Except maybe to talk to a lawyer.

 

[quincy]

She don't want to leave. She wants him to be out of jail. He does have 1 prior assult charge to. This won't look good. She's going to tell the courts that her brother don't like her bf and made it up to get him arrested. She thinks cause she didn't call the cops that their isn't enough evidence

I suggest you send your friend the following link - but tell her to protect from her abuser any access to it, as abusers often become more abusive after the police have become involved in an incident or when the abuser believes his partner may be looking to get help or leave:

https://dps.mn.gov/divisions/ojp/help-for-crime-victims/Pages/resource-list-victims.aspx

If the police are unable to hold your friend's abuser due to lack of supporting evidence, and your friend decides to keep him in her life, that is her choice. There is not much you can do to convince her to leave him. She has to make the decision herself - and hopefully she makes it before she is seriously injured or killed.

 

[Tpatzo]

The problem is he wasnt arrested the same day the incident happened. Was like 2 days later. He knows her brother was the one that talked to his po. They were doing great. He didn't put his hands on her again or after she came back from her moms. She wants to stay with the guy. That's y she's going to try to fight it. She really wants to be with this guy. Another thing I forgot to mention earlier is she some times swings to. I know it's not right for him to put his hands on her but she fought back as well. She has swung lamps at him, threw him down the steps, put his head threw the wall. That's possiblely why she didn't call the cops to. She's on felony probation at the moment. She knew she could go to jail to. I'm not covering the bf by any means but I'm wondering if that's the reason of y she didn't call the cops they would of both went in. She got him right in the neck with a key. He's gotta key mark on him. What if in jail they spot that indentation of a key on his neck. I'm now starting to think the hospital might of reported to the cops. Even if she didn't give the hospital his name. She wants the brother to call the probation officer back and say he lied. I don't exactly think he can do that. If the hospital didn't report to the cops I think the brother might of called & isn't telling me.

 

[Tpatzo]

I suggest you send your friend the following link - but tell her to protect from her abuser any access to it, as abusers often become more abusive after the police have become involved in an incident or when the abuser believes his partner may be looking to get help or leave:

https://dps.mn.gov/divisions/ojp/help-for-crime-victims/Pages/resource-list-victims.aspx

If the police are unable to hold your friend's abuser due to lack of supporting evidence, and your friend decides to keep him in her life, that is her choice. There is not much you can do to convince her to leave him. She has to make the decision herself - and hopefully she makes it before she is seriously injured or killed.

He knows she didn't call the cops. It was the brother. He wouldn't hurt her cause of his stupidity. I am scared in jail though he might turn it around and say she attacked me to. She did she always does. She's thrown him down the steps, threw the wall ect... I don't give the OK on the bf hitting her though. Drugs are probably involved. I think she didn't call the cops is cause she hurt him to. She's on felony probation. If she gets put in jail she will lose her kids.