Contesting a will

[Zigner]

Am I allowed to be upset with my dad for disinheriting the entire family that he has been apart of for 50+ years?

How would you feel if your dad did that to your family?

I've told my dad many, MANY times that it's HIS money and he can do with it as he pleases.

 

[Just Blue]

Am I allowed to be upset with my dad for disinheriting the entire family that he has been apart of for 50+ years?

How would you feel if your dad did that to your family?

I would be thrilled he found such great love in the later part of his life and know that the money my Dad spent years working for was his to do as he pleased.

 

[Taxing Matters]

Washington

What kind of proof is required to contest a will?

To win a will challenge based on competency is, well, a challenge. Under the law of most states, including Washington, legal competency is a pretty low standard. All the decedent must be able to do at the time of executing the will is:

(1) know that he is signing a document that determines who gets his property when he dies;
(2) generally what property he has; and
(3) who his spouse and close relatives are.

Moreover, the when the will itself looks proper on its face the competency of the decedent is assumed by the courts and the person challenging the will must overcome that with "cogent and convincing" evidence. See In re Estate of Bussler, 160 Wash. App. 449, 461, 247 P.3d 821, 828 (2011).

An attack based on undue influence might be an option given the short term of the marriage, but if it is true that she didn't ask him to change the will then that won't go anywhere either. Even if she did, as his wife she would be a natural object of his affection and someone to whom the estate might be expected to be given, so this is a tough one to pursue in any event. She'd be entitled to at least a share of the estate even if the will hadn't been changed.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Am I allowed to be upset with my dad for disinheriting the entire family that he has been apart of for 50+ years?

How would you feel if your dad did that to your family?

Of course you are allowed to feel whatever you want. It is natural to feel hurt, betrayed - he told your siblings, not you, and everyone kept the secret.

However, "feelings" aren't the law, and this is a legal advice forum.

In order to successfully contest a will, you need a legally sound reason to do so, not just the feeling of betrayal or abandonment.

Because he emailed your siblings about the changes, you cannot say that it was an oversight.
And you'll be alone if you try t o argue diminished capacity... since everyone else in your family disagrees.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Am I allowed to be upset with my dad for disinheriting the entire family that he has been apart of for 50+ years?

How would you feel if your dad did that to your family?

I'd be happy that my father's last months were happy.

 

[TrustUser]

i tend to disagree with most of you guys. not necessarily about this specific case, but in general. i think a parent owes it to his kid to tell him about it, if he is being disinherited. unless there is some sort of estrangement.

there did not seem to be a bad relationship, in this specific situation

i am always suspicious in these late life marriages, when the new spouse gets everything

if the new wife did not want the will changed, she could still leave the funds to the original beneficiaries.

i dont really believe the new wife, in this regard. if she had told her new husband that she did not want him to change the will, i think new husband would have left it alone

if i had been the new wife, and really did not want the will changed, i can guarantee you that the will would not have been changed

it sounds to me that father did not want the op told because he felt some guilt about it, knowing that this particular child was not well off, like the other children

actions speak louder than words.

 

[Zigner]

i tend to disagree with most of you guys. not necessarily about this specific case, but in general. i think a parent owes it to his kid to tell him about it, if he is being disinherited. unless there is some sort of estrangement.

Under what theory of law does the parent "owe" his kids anything even remotely related to this? Furthermore, dad told all the kids except the OP...makes me think there may have been some sort of estrangement.

 

[Taxing Matters]

i tend to disagree with most of you guys.

Disagree with what, exactly? I'm not seeing anyone here saying that the father did a good thing in not telling the OP of the change. It probably would have been a good idea for him to tell the OP when the change was made, though of course that does depend on the relationship they had. And perhaps he was going to do that at some point and the sudden death so soon after it was done prevented that. I just don't know.

I suggest to clients that they tell their kids of their estate plans, especially if the kids are not going to just split it all equally, so that the kids understand it's what they really want and to assure the kids that the decision was not a reflection of how much the parent cares about the kid (if that's true). At the very least it can avoid the extra hurt of a surprise like the OP experienced here. But there was no legal obligation on the father's part to tell the OP of the change.

 

[TrustUser]

if you read my post, i never stated or implied that there was any sort of legal reason that a parent was obligated to tell his children.

as far as disagreeing, most of the posts here have been a bit on the obstinate side, against the op

i understand that somewhat, as it does sound as if the op was more interested in the money than in his dad

but i dont get the feeling there was any sort of estrangement between the two

if there had been estrangement, i dont think the father would have told the other kids not to tell the op

again, i will restate - I AM ALWAYS SUSPICIOUS when new spouses end up with everything, after a couple months of marriage

in most good late life marriages that i see - both spouses leave everything to their own children. neither spouse gets anything from the other spouse.

 

[not2cleverRed]

if you read my post, i never stated or implied that there was any sort of legal reason that a parent was obligated to tell his children.

as far as disagreeing, most of the posts here have been a bit on the obstinate side, against the op

i understand that somewhat, as it does sound as if the op was more interested in the money than in his dad

but i dont get the feeling there was any sort of estrangement between the two

if there had been estrangement, i dont think the father would have told the other kids not to tell the op

Really? Because if I were angry at someone, I could seeing doing exactly that. Let them have a big surprise, it's well deserved.

again, i will restate - I AM ALWAYS SUSPICIOUS when new spouses end up with everything, after a couple months of marriage

in most good late life marriages that i see - both spouses leave everything to their own children. neither spouse gets anything from the other spouse.

Really? How odd. Most people I know want to make sure that their spouse is taken care of, at least having the marital home to live in.

And I've known people who haven't left everything to their children - granted, their marriages were over a decade, not months.

 

[kstarfire212]

Well, my parents have always told me they will gives us all a share when they die for the past 30+ years and their wills have reflected that until 2 months ago. If you tell your dad you dont want an inheritance, and he doesnt give it to you, that is your choice and he is just following your wishes. That is quite a bit different from being disinherited like this.

Apparently, there are laws about this in other countries. In new zealand and australia, you can argue that the parent has a moral duty to his kids so they cant cut the kids out completely like this. I wonder why we dont have that here?

https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/72741312/null

https://www.owenhodge.com.au/wills-estates/family-members-moral-duty/

 

[quincy]

I personally hate when parents make final wishes that pretty much guarantee angry conflicts will erupt between their family members when they die.

Disinheriting children seems heartless.

In other words, I have a hard time accepting parents who intentionally hurt their children, even when understanding that parents are free to do what they want with the assets they leave behind.

 

[commentator]

And then, there are different situations. Always, we call it like we sees it, as we experience it. I have a friend who works in the final arrangements world. He reports that it is not at all uncommon to find that there are situations in which a parent and child have not spoken to each other in many years.

I know if you have a happy relationship with your family and no step parents, jealous siblings and those types of issues you tend to think in terms of your situation and think it would be dreadful for parents to do something like this, have bad feelings toward parents who intentionally "hurt their children." Then there is the rest of the story.

There are several cases of children who have very deliberately hurt and used and taken advantage of their parents through the years. There are adult children out there that you'd perhaps have no problem disinheriting. Perhaps back in the day, you spent untold amounts of your money, time and tears on rehabs or lawyers or bills paid for this child and feel he's already had "his share." Perhaps the parent finding happiness after the mother passed away has really upset the adult child. Maybe he has gone out of his way to let his father know that he still expects to inherit and made it amazingly plain that the reason he wasn't happy with the new relationship is that he doesn't give a rat's behind whether Dad is happy or not, he just wants "his share" of the money he's expecting.

One of my siblings called me, not to congratulate me after my wedding, but to demand I set up some sort of trust to make sure my share of the family land stays in the family and his children inherit it, even if I am now married to "this yahoo!" Yes, some family members are easier than others to leave out completely. So many people in difficult family situations die intestate. This father went out of his way to clearly make a will and state his wishes. His other children have accepted them. They know the circumstances. I do not have a problem with a person being able to leave his money anywhere he wants to, not necessarily to his adult children. This is not an Anna Nichole Smith situation where this "young vamp" has distorted this man's thinking when he was addled by old age and/or dementia. This is possibly a case of someone who found a happy relationship with a peer after he was widowed. The children who bothered to come around, perhaps get to know her, are all right with the distribution of his wealth.

Incidentally I am sole beneficiary of my husband's will, as he is on mine. We both have children by previous marriages. We fully understand how the other person feels about their children and their relationship with them, and have a non binding agreement about what we'd like to have happen later. But then, as the attorney said to both of us "You could take everything and run off to Tahiti with some twenty year old, you know!"

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

We know nothing about the family dynamics at work here. SO the only thing we can even begin to respond with is the law surrounding the issue. I think that was handled by post number 3 or 4.

 

[Zigner]

I wonder why we dont have that here?

Because we're not Australia or New Zealand.