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Should I Hire a Lawyer?

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Oneal4892

Member
What is the name of your state? Ohio.

We rent and don't have major assets besides vehicles, a joint savings account, and her 401k ($20,000). I make close to $60k a year and she makes close to 40k a year. She has about $30k in student debt and I have none.

Okay so I'm going to try to make this short...

My wife and I got married two and a half years ago. I think that she is a sneaky compulsive liar that only cares about herself and money and she thinks I am controlling. As expected, we disagree on those interpretations of each other. So in early May, we had a heated argument that took place in an empty parking garage. She sped home after the argument, grabbed a few things and left me. She claims that doesn't feel safe although I have never laid hands on her or threatened her. If everyone abandoned their home after getting yelled at for 10 seconds then everyone in America would be homeless! I was very angry at first, but apologized only to learn she wants to permanently separate...

So more time passes, we start texting and calling each other a week or so later and become cordial. She then starts separating her bank accounts, credit cards, and bills from me and our household although her name is on the lease. In the midst of this, she verbally agreed to transfer me all of my contributions in our joint savings into my new personal account ($4,000) and this is when things get messy. Days go by and I notice that I don't see a deposit so I call the bank and they tell me that I will see the deposit tomorrow, but the amount they saw coming through was only $2,700...so I text my wife and she has the NERVE to try to fool me like there was only $2,700 in the account so when I began getting more aggressive with questions, she changes her tune and says that she subtracted $1,300 for her HOUSING COSTS. She was staying with her Uncle when she texted me this and now she is living in an extended stay hotel so she fabricated the whole thing.

I was red hot about that, but eventually I somewhat got over it and we became cordial again. Once we became cordial again, I told her that due to my safety, I am having the locks changed on our apartment so she needs to arrange a time with me for me to let her in to retrieve her things to which she agrees. I also proposed a dissolution and property/debt dissolution because I was ready to get away from this woman. Two weeks later she calls me at work yelling that she can't get into our place (WHICH I TOLD HER 2 WEEKS AGO THAT THE LOCKS HAVE BEEN CHANGED). So I leave work, come home, and her explain to her and her uncle that it's not a good time right now because I have to go back to work and the apartment was a mess. It would have taken her a minimum of two hours to get her things! So while explaining to her that she needs to arrange a time, her uncle begins recording me on video to make it look like I was denying her entry. The police then show up and chose not to exacerbate the situation so I still have possession of her personal belongings as well as documented proof of my attempts to arrange a time! It's like they conspired to make me look crazy on video.

I then get a call from one of her ex-criminal cousins attempting to intimidate and threaten me about her getting her belongings which I also have documented.

So I skipped the dissolution and filed for divorce right after this video incident.

Should I hire a lawyer or represent myself in court? I really don't want to go into debt over this and we don't have any major assets together, but I would like my $1,300 back and everything we agreed to in the previous dissolution.
 


t74

Member
If you are asking about hiring an attorney, you should. At least have a consultation about your situation before filing on your own.

The $1300 is cheap to get out of the situation you are in. It will likely cost more to fight in court than to just give in even though you may be right. Sometime you do what is rational and not what is right because of the emotional and financial cost. (Been there; done that.)

PS. Changing the locks was really not a good idea because she still has the right to be there. This is one reason I believe you need an attorney because you can get yourself into more trouble by not knowing the laws..

Consider breaking the lease, get your own apartment, and move your things out thus leaving the apartment with just her things. Since you are both on the lease, you should share the cost of breaking it.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Additionally, stop "telling" her and start informing her in writing, using certified mail. Consider renting a P.O. Box so long as you continue to live in the marital home.

You are not getting the $1300 back. At least, you're not getting it back without spending a lot more than $1300.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Depending on where the money came from, the OP might have already received more than he'd receive in the divorce. Assuming that the money in the savings account is actually marital property, then it could be ordered split 50/50, or in some other equitable way. The OP could end up owing his wife even more of the money in the account than she has already received.
 

Oneal4892

Member
If you are asking about hiring an attorney, you should. At least have a consultation about your situation before filing on your own.

The $1300 is cheap to get out of the situation you are in. It will likely cost more to fight in court than to just give in even though you may be right. Sometime you do what is rational and not what is right because of the emotional and financial cost. (Been there; done that.)

PS. Changing the locks was really not a good idea because she still has the right to be there. This is one reason I believe you need an attorney because you can get yourself into more trouble by not knowing the laws..

Consider breaking the lease, get your own apartment, and move your things out thus leaving the apartment with just her things. Since you are both on the lease, you should share the cost of breaking it.
Now she does have access to the new key. She just hasn't inquired with our leasing office to realize it. And even with solid proof (e-mails/texts) of her changing her reasoning three times for taking the $1,300...you don't think I have a shot of getting it back?
 

Oneal4892

Member
Additionally, stop "telling" her and start informing her in writing, using certified mail. Consider renting a P.O. Box so long as you continue to live in the marital home.

You are not getting the $1300 back. At least, you're not getting it back without spending a lot more than $1300.
Even with solid proof (e-mails/texts) of her changing her reasoning three times for taking the $1,300...you don't think I have a shot of getting it back?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Even with solid proof (e-mails/texts) of her changing her reasoning three times for taking the $1,300...you don't think I have a shot of getting it back?
What is the source of the funds that were in the account?

EDIT: I'd also like to point out that once you put the money in the joint account it became equally owned. You're lucky she only took $1,300.00.
 

Oneal4892

Member
Depending on where the money came from, the OP might have already received more than he'd receive in the divorce. Assuming that the money in the savings account is actually marital property, then it could be ordered split 50/50, or in some other equitable way. The OP could end up owing his wife even more of the money in the account than she has already received.
The money came from a 401k cash out as well as a work bonus I received in March. She never made any real contributions to our savings account.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Even with solid proof (e-mails/texts) of her changing her reasoning three times for taking the $1,300...you don't think I have a shot of getting it back?
No. You don't have a shot at the $1300 without spending significantly more than $1300.

Because she has not voluntarily given it to you, arguing over this would make it a "contested divorce". If you dig in your heels deeply enough, she can refuse all the way, to the point of going to trial. You could easily spend tens of thousands of dollars pursuing this, and still not get anything.

It is cheaper to accept this as settled and move forward.
 

Oneal4892

Member
Also...my wife knows I'm still angry about the $1,300 and she is begging me for a dissolution however I told her via e-mail that one of my minimum requirements is the $1,300 and she refused to give it back. So I know her fear will lead her to get a lawyer so wouldn't it cheaper for her to give my money back than hire a lawyer? My wife is poor at providing examples and proof as well as debating so I know she won't represent herself.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Also...my wife knows I'm still angry about the $1,300 and she is begging me for a dissolution however I told her via e-mail that one of my minimum requirements is the $1,300 and she refused to give it back. So I know her fear will lead her to get a lawyer so wouldn't it cheaper for her to give my money back than hire a lawyer? My wife is poor at providing examples and proof as well as debating so I know she won't represent herself.
There is no giving it "back" - the money is hers, legally speaking. If you push this, you could easily be required to pay even more of the money to her directly.

I'm sorry you aren't getting this, and I think that you really have no desire to hear the answers you are hearing vs. the answers you'd like to hear. Go speak to an attorney.
 

Oneal4892

Member
No. You don't have a shot at the $1300 without spending significantly more than $1300.

Because she has not voluntarily given it to you, arguing over this would make it a "contested divorce". If you dig in your heels deeply enough, she can refuse all the way, to the point of going to trial. You could easily spend tens of thousands of dollars pursuing this, and still not get anything.

It is cheaper to accept this as settled and move forward.
Please see my latest reply below...
 

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