Ex-Wife gets OVI and Child endangerment charge with son in car.

[fatherC04]

Bull. The fact that the child was in the car when mom was arrested with a .139 BAC means CPS should have gotten involved. You are reading a docket? Why didn't you call the police? Why didn't you call CPS? Why didn't you investigate other than reading a docket when it comes to your child's safety?

Ok, let me clear the record as apparently I wasn't clear enough. Within a day of finding this out I contacted not only my lawyer, but my new lawyer as well (considering my lawyer has retired from family law). Both lawyer's stated that the mother is innocent until proven guilty and I don't really have a leg to stand on until if and when she is convicted. So i want to make it clear im not a father who just started to care 7 months after the incident. I cared the minute I found out.

I contacted the police station that brought her in, the prosecutor of her case and the municipal court in which all of this was taking place. The police basically said that the arresting officer asked if someone could pick up the child and its not their job to figure out the other parents of the child in those situations. The prosecutor gave me as much information as he could, but basically stated that I could attend the trial and he was sorry that I found out the way I did and the municipal court was as helpful as a bag of rocks.

So im pretty sure I have gone through a lot of avenues to attempt to get answers and find out how I obtain full custody. Every lawyer/prosecutor I have talked to has told me to sit and wait.

This group is the first to tell me that their legal advise has been wrong.

 

[fatherC04]

You should have gone for full custody as soon as you found out. You have stated by your delay that it was not an issue. HOw long was she without a driver's license? is she still? You have screwed up with your delay.

I was told by several lawyers that "going for full custody" would have not played well. Even though we are 50:50 split, they stated I need to wait until she is convicted. At that point I would have more ammo.

 

[fatherC04]

The problem is the emergency is over. He should have researched it back then and not waited. Depending on the county, the court will not care unless mom is sent to jail. He should have been on top of this when it happened. He should have researched it then.

I also want to mention that I was lied to and found out months after public records were made known. This happened in a different city and county. The moment I found out I was lied to and this situation was far more serious I immediately contacted several lawyers. I was told at that time that CPS had drug tested her and after she passed deemed it fine for our child to still be in her care. (I say in her care when in all reality we split time week on and week off)

I want to make it clear that I am not a neglectful father who just now cares. I cared the moment i found out. I went through a 2 year court battle to fight for custody of my son, never wavering.

I know my initial post was not as clear and I apologize for that.

 

[stealth2]

Ok, let me clear the record as apparently I wasn't clear enough. Within a day of finding this out I contacted not only my lawyer, but my new lawyer as well (considering my lawyer has retired from family law). Both lawyer's stated that the mother is innocent until proven guilty and I don't really have a leg to stand on until if and when she is convicted. So i want to make it clear im not a father who just started to care 7 months after the incident. I cared the minute I found out.

I contacted the police station that brought her in, the prosecutor of her case and the municipal court in which all of this was taking place. The police basically said that the arresting officer asked if someone could pick up the child and its not their job to figure out the other parents of the child in those situations. The prosecutor gave me as much information as he could, but basically stated that I could attend the trial and he was sorry that I found out the way I did and the municipal court was as helpful as a bag of rocks.

So im pretty sure I have gone through a lot of avenues to attempt to get answers and find out how I obtain full custody. Every lawyer/prosecutor I have talked to has told me to sit and wait.

This group is the first to tell me that their legal advise has been wrong.

Well, let ME "clear the record", so to speak. I WAS going to apologize for misunderstanding the timeline, until I reread the entire thread, paying particular attention to your posts. The above is the FIRST time you mention the timeline you followed. In fact, the only thing you mentioned was a short paragraph about the July incident, and then "fast-forwarded" to now. Yes, you mentioned the various entities you'd contacted, but didn't mention it was back in July/August, only discussing those points after "fast-forwarding" to now. We're not mindreaders, son. We can only comment on the information YOU provide. Which is what was done - by an Ohio attorney/GAL to boot. I suspect she will also not be offering any apologies, either.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I was told by several lawyers that "going for full custody" would have not played well. Even though we are 50:50 split, they stated I need to wait until she is convicted. At that point I would have more ammo.

You could have at least requested a modification. Say, that neither parent will drink during their parenting time. Yes, that includes you, but if you don't have a drinking problem, that should be easy enough to comply with.

 

[fatherC04]

Well, let ME "clear the record", so to speak. I WAS going to apologize for misunderstanding the timeline, until I reread the entire thread, paying particular attention to your posts. The above is the FIRST time you mention the timeline you followed. In fact, the only thing you mentioned was a short paragraph about the July incident, and then "fast-forwarded" to now. Yes, you mentioned the various entities you'd contacted, but didn't mention it was back in July/August, only discussing those points after "fast-forwarding" to now. We're not mindreaders, son. We can only comment on the information YOU provide. Which is what was done - by an Ohio attorney/GAL to boot. I suspect she will also not be offering any apologies, either.

Did i ask for an apology? I'm confused why you think I want an apology from you. I stated that I was not clear and I apologized for it. That is why I cleared up the information that I provided.

The incident happened back in July, but I did not find out about it until later on after public record was made known.


Basic Timeline:

July 28th: Crash occurs.
July 29th: I receive a text stating that crash occurred and that my ex did not contact me because she had to go to the hospital.
July 29th: I contact my lawyer to let it be known she did not follow the shared parenting plan, he states that he will email her lawyer and if further incidents occur we will put for a complaint to court.
Next few weeks: my fiance and I search public records for crash but find nothing.

Fast Forward

December 26: We find out that her new boyfriend lives in a completely different and so we search public arrest records/crash reports for that city and finally find hers. We wanted to just see how bad the crash was as my son brought it up to us over dinner. That is when we found out she blew a .139 and was being charged with two OVI's and Child endangerment (two OVI's because if a minor is in the car they slap a second charge on there, or that is how I understand it.)
December 26-27: At this time, with the holidays, it was very hard to get a hold of lawyers. But the two I contacted and met with told me that we need to wait. They stated I could contact the police station for that city and figure out why I was not made aware. But to have a good leg to stand on I should wait until the verdict is dealt and if she is convicted then I will have greater foundations to rest on when it came to any changes to custody.
Jan 2-3: Calls between myself and the police station of the city and the court and the prosecutor. Like I stated above these calls really amounted to nothing but "hey buddy that sucks you found out this way, yea just wait until after the trial, we really cant help you. listen to your lawyers, blah blah"


I found this site and thought maybe some people had gone through a similar situation, that is why I posted this here.

Sorry if you found my OP to be vague, I hope I was able to clear it up.

 

[fatherC04]

You could have at least requested a modification. Say, that neither parent will drink during their parenting time. Yes, that includes you, but if you don't have a drinking problem, that should be easy enough to comply with.

When i brought up requesting a modification I was advised to wait. Being a Vet the whole "hurry up and wait" mentality is something I am accustomed to LOL

 

[LdiJ]

Ok, let me clear the record as apparently I wasn't clear enough. Within a day of finding this out I contacted not only my lawyer, but my new lawyer as well (considering my lawyer has retired from family law). Both lawyer's stated that the mother is innocent until proven guilty and I don't really have a leg to stand on until if and when she is convicted. So i want to make it clear im not a father who just started to care 7 months after the incident. I cared the minute I found out.

I contacted the police station that brought her in, the prosecutor of her case and the municipal court in which all of this was taking place. The police basically said that the arresting officer asked if someone could pick up the child and its not their job to figure out the other parents of the child in those situations. The prosecutor gave me as much information as he could, but basically stated that I could attend the trial and he was sorry that I found out the way I did and the municipal court was as helpful as a bag of rocks.

So im pretty sure I have gone through a lot of avenues to attempt to get answers and find out how I obtain full custody. Every lawyer/prosecutor I have talked to has told me to sit and wait.

This group is the first to tell me that their legal advise has been wrong.

You got the same advice to wait from me and I think someone else as well here.

 

[Ohiogal]

Did i ask for an apology? I'm confused why you think I want an apology from you. I stated that I was not clear and I apologized for it. That is why I cleared up the information that I provided.

The incident happened back in July, but I did not find out about it until later on after public record was made known.


Basic Timeline:

July 28th: Crash occurs.
July 29th: I receive a text stating that crash occurred and that my ex did not contact me because she had to go to the hospital.
July 29th: I contact my lawyer to let it be known she did not follow the shared parenting plan, he states that he will email her lawyer and if further incidents occur we will put for a complaint to court.
Next few weeks: my fiance and I search public records for crash but find nothing.

Fast Forward

December 26: We find out that her new boyfriend lives in a completely different and so we search public arrest records/crash reports for that city and finally find hers. We wanted to just see how bad the crash was as my son brought it up to us over dinner. That is when we found out she blew a .139 and was being charged with two OVI's and Child endangerment (two OVI's because if a minor is in the car they slap a second charge on there, or that is how I understand it.)
December 26-27: At this time, with the holidays, it was very hard to get a hold of lawyers. But the two I contacted and met with told me that we need to wait. They stated I could contact the police station for that city and figure out why I was not made aware. But to have a good leg to stand on I should wait until the verdict is dealt and if she is convicted then I will have greater foundations to rest on when it came to any changes to custody.
Jan 2-3: Calls between myself and the police station of the city and the court and the prosecutor. Like I stated above these calls really amounted to nothing but "hey buddy that sucks you found out this way, yea just wait until after the trial, we really cant help you. listen to your lawyers, blah blah"


I found this site and thought maybe some people had gone through a similar situation, that is why I posted this here.

Sorry if you found my OP to be vague, I hope I was able to clear it up.

When you heard about the accident you should have asked your ex where it occurred. You should have then called that police department. Two OVIs for a minor in the car? Most likely it is because there was an accident. An ovi resulting in an accident and one without. Lesser included.

By the time she is found guilty or innocent don't expect anything to change because the emergency was back in July when she was using and driving your child and endangering him.

I am the only attorney (I think) that answered you and the ONLY attorney on here from Ohio. By December there was no issue is nothing else has happened since July. All you can hope for rationally is that there will be a modification so neither party can drink alcohol when your child is not with you. One "oopsie" is not going to result in a change in custody nine months after the fact.

 

[Ohiogal]

You got the same advice to wait from me and I think someone else as well here.

And your advice is useless. I really wish you would stay OFF OF OHIO threads. Because you have no clue.

 

[fatherC04]

I'll take this with a grain of salt for now and I appreciate your reply. My lawyer, who was with me during the two year court battle and my new family lawyer seem to think otherwise.

When I asked for details I was road blocked and sandbagged. I am not a mind reader and honestly looked into surrounding counties for public records to no avail.

Once, again. When this occurred I was lied to and had no idea of what actually transpired. This is not something I sat on my hands about and just let happen. I called around to different police stations and municipal courts.

My lawyer states that I DO in fact have a case if and when she is convicted. The trial is coming up shortly, so I guess I will find out soon.

 

[Just Blue]

I'll take this with a grain of salt for now and I appreciate your reply. My lawyer, who was with me during the two year court battle and my new family lawyer seem to think otherwise.

When I asked for details I was road blocked and sandbagged. I am not a mind reader and honestly looked into surrounding counties for public records to no avail.

Once, again. When this occurred I was lied to and had no idea of what actually transpired. This is not something I sat on my hands about and just let happen. I called around to different police stations and municipal courts.

My lawyer states that I DO in fact have a case if and when she is convicted. The trial is coming up shortly, so I guess I will find out soon.

It would be nice if you would come back and update your thread after the trial.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'll take this with a grain of salt for now and I appreciate your reply. My lawyer, who was with me during the two year court battle and my new family lawyer seem to think otherwise.

When I asked for details I was road blocked and sandbagged. I am not a mind reader and honestly looked into surrounding counties for public records to no avail.

Once, again. When this occurred I was lied to and had no idea of what actually transpired. This is not something I sat on my hands about and just let happen. I called around to different police stations and municipal courts.

My lawyer states that I DO in fact have a case if and when she is convicted. The trial is coming up shortly, so I guess I will find out soon.

Depending on the county, you are automatically getting a GAL. The GAL is going to question why you didn't take it seriously when it happened. A trial can take several weeks or months for custody. Unless Mom goes to prison/jail during your time (doesn't usually happen in Ohio as she can do weekends and can alternate them) and she is not done by the time you get a trial date, you may be screwed. That is fact. You did sit on it. The accident was in July and you didn't know the facts until December. That is a five month delay. And what harm came to your child then? But maybe you will win. I am not saying you definitely won't. I am saying you have SERIOUS ISSUES with your argument of your child not being in an appropriate custodial arrangement.

 

[fatherC04]

Depending on the county, you are automatically getting a GAL. The GAL is going to question why you didn't take it seriously when it happened. A trial can take several weeks or months for custody. Unless Mom goes to prison/jail during your time (doesn't usually happen in Ohio as she can do weekends and can alternate them) and she is not done by the time you get a trial date, you may be screwed. That is fact. You did sit on it. The accident was in July and you didn't know the facts until December. That is a five month delay. And what harm came to your child then? But maybe you will win. I am not saying you definitely won't. I am saying you have SERIOUS ISSUES with your argument of your child not being in an appropriate custodial arrangement.

Are people not understanding that the crash happened. I was told it was a minor incident and was lied to about the situation. It is not as if she told me or I was aware she got into a crash and was charge with OVI and Child Endangerment. Of course if I knew I would have taken action, just as I did the moment I found out about it.

This thought that i had some sort of omnipotence of the situation is just untrue. So I did not sit on my hands with it.

Sorry if i'm being blunt, years in my military have made me this way.

I just don't understand how it could be perceived that I was sit on the situation when I had no idea the situation had occurred. Makes no logical sense to me. But I recognize the fact that I am not a lawyer. That is why I decided to go with what my lawyer has stated and wait until after the trial. If a conviction comes forth, from my lawyers perception, I have a better foundation to lay my argument for full custody.

 

[Ohiogal]

Are people not understanding that the crash happened. I was told it was a minor incident and was lied to about the situation. It is not as if she told me or I was aware she got into a crash and was charge with OVI and Child Endangerment. Of course if I knew I would have taken action, just as I did the moment I found out about it.

This thought that i had some sort of omnipotence of the situation is just untrue. So I did not sit on my hands with it.

Sorry if i'm being blunt, years in my military have made me this way.

I just don't understand how it could be perceived that I was sit on the situation when I had no idea the situation had occurred. Makes no logical sense to me. But I recognize the fact that I am not a lawyer. That is why I decided to go with what my lawyer has stated and wait until after the trial. If a conviction comes forth, from my lawyers perception, I have a better foundation to lay my argument for full custody.

Your child was in a car accident. You didn't want to know the extent of injuries? A minor accident can still result in bruising or whiplash for a child. You didn't want to know who treated him after the accident? You didn't think the police would have been called? You didn't ask where the accident took place? My ex husband was in an accident without our daughter and I still knew where the accident took place, when, and what the outcome was. If my child had been involved, I would have been in touch with every city in the county in the next few days and if there was no report, I would have been calling my ex demanding more facts. Why? Because that is what a responsible adult and parent does.