Disagreement with guidelines

[Winsome]

Hello -

State is IN. Per court order, I have mid-week and EOW with overnights with the children. Per the state guidelines, I am supposed to have had the children last weekend. But my ex refused sending the children at the last minute, and instead told me that I can have them this coming weekend. This weekend I cannot, as I have already made other commitments. I pointed her to the guidelines, and to the parenting time calendar that I published a month ago. But she refuses to budge. This is not the first time, she has refused sending the children on time in the past. After discussing and confirming the correct dates with my lawyer, I filed a contempt for her refusal to send the children during my regular weekend. This will be taken up during the hearing next month.

My question is, do you perceive I am not flexible enough to follow her schedule and take the children this weekend?

Thanks.

P.S: I do have an old thread, but it is not related to this topic. If I have misplaced this ask, please let me know.

 

[Just Blue]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/how-to-answer.660950/

Please, don't start new threads for every question. Post your question on your other thread in this forum and all other questions on custody/support there as well. Thank you.

 

[Taxing Matters]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/how-to-answer.660950/

Please, don't start new threads for every question. Post your question on your other thread in this forum and all other questions on custody/support there as well. Thank you.

I disagree. If the other post is old and not at all related then a new post is better. I don't want to read though a bunch of old stuff that has no bearing on the new question being asked.

 

[Just Blue]

I disagree. If the other post is old and not at all related then a new post is better. I don't want to read though a bunch of old stuff that has no bearing on the new question being asked.

The other thread is from last month and is regarding custody.

 

[Winsome]

the other thread was about interrogatories. This is about state guidelines. I have the same problem sifting through archives of old messages. I also do not understand why all topics have to be clubbed under a single thread. If the moderator insists, I will use the old one. I feel the topics are not related. The only common thing being me. Moreover, there is a better chance of members engaging in a discussion when it is clean.

 

[stealth2]

The other thread is from last month and is regarding custody.

I dunno, Blue.... the threads do seem different enough to warrant a new one.

Having said that, though... What I do like about single threads is that it's easier to get an insight as to where/with which party the problem actually may lie. There is much to be learned from that which influences my response...

 

[Just Blue]

If Admin agrees with you all they will place the opening post back. OP has a posting history that, IMO, is relevant.

 

[Just Blue]

Admin agreed with you guys. Sorry for the diversion of your thread Winsome.

 

[stealth2]

My question is, do you perceive I am not flexible enough to follow her schedule and take the children this weekend?

IMO, it depends what your commitment was...

 

[not2cleverRed]

I also do not understand why all topics have to be clubbed under a single thread.

Because it gives us context. And shows the pattern of your situation.

 

[not2cleverRed]

IMO, it depends what your commitment was...

IMO it also depends what HER reasons are... and how much notice she gave OP.

Especially since she has a pattern of withholding parenting time if she knows that OP has scheduled (court ordered reunification) therapy during that time, if I recall correctly.

 

[Winsome]

IMO, it depends what your commitment was...

I had a longstanding appointment which I cannot cancel, vaccination that was scheduled and I just got a shot today, in addition a party over the weekend that was planned some time ago. I had planned these based on guidelines that we are supposed to adhere to by the state.

 

[Winsome]

IMO it also depends what HER reasons are... and how much notice she gave OP.

To her credit she sent the plan a few months ago. We discussed these over the last 2 months, I pointed her to guidelines and published a calendar in the court ordered mail system about a month ago. Her reasons are - 'I am right per guidelines, and what I say are guidelines'. No other reason.

 

[stealth2]

To her credit she sent the plan a few months ago. We discussed these over the last 2 months, I pointed her to guidelines and published a calendar in the court ordered mail system about a month ago. Her reasons are - 'I am right per guidelines, and what I say are guidelines'. No other reason.

So this is not yet a court-ordered schedule?

ETA: this is sort of why keeping questions to one thread is helpful. We don't have to go back and search for the information elsewhere, and you don't have to repeat the same thing over and over.

 

[stealth2]

IMO it also depends what HER reasons are... and how much notice she gave OP.

Yes. And no. IMO... IF this is not yet a court-ordered schedule, OP has little recourse - even if the judge said "oh just use the IN Guidelines" w/o memorializing it in an order. W/O an actual order, it may be up to the court to decide whether the commitments are such that switching w/e's is impossible. Personally? Getting the vax isn't. Even *with* a potential reaction - parents get sick same as kids do - suppose Dad woke up on his w/e with a stomach bug? As for the party? Is it at Winsome's home?

Even *with* it specified in an order, things are not always so clear-cut. That may be where Mom's reasons come into play. Back in the day, we *did* have an order. Among other things, Mother's Day was mine. Which worked out well that year, as my parents (who my kids were very close to) had "big" birthdays the day before and day after. So we were having a family party on the Sunday. Until my ex decided he was having them that w/e because his wife's cousin's child was making First Communion that Saturday. Yep- took it to court. And the judge ruled in his favor, telling me the rest of the family could celebrate with the folks as planned and the kids another time. The one concession I got was the ex was to return them on the Monday morning. Because his wife wanted to have a family Mother's Day. Sometimes, things don't go as one expects them to...