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my children's grandmother is trying everything she can to be vindictive

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jmckell21

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?Tennessee

My children's grandmother (not related to me what so ever, my exes mother, never married) is trying everything she can to get to my kids. I have recently stopped letting my kids go over to her house because all she does is talk bad about me to my kids, threaten me, blackmail me, and tell me shes going to take my kids away and put me in jail. My ex (their father) is never around for me or my kids. Sometimes I don't even hear from him for months at a time. Visitation has been legally set with their father and he never follows it, and no where in the agreement does it say anything about the grandparents. So, trying to be nice, I have allowed my kids to go to my exes mother's house to spend time with his side of the family, and to occasionally get a break. This visitation is strictly my decision and it is not court ordered or legally assigned. Last time I asked her to bring my kids home at a certain time for a holiday, as it was discussed a week in advance, she absolutely refused when it came time to bringing them home, continued to threaten me, and then caused a huge scene when she got to my house acting like she was going to hit everyone in my family and cussing and calling every one names, all in front of my kids. So the cops were called and I was legally advised to not speak to her or let her around my children, and got an order of protection. Since then she has called The Department Of Child Services and gave them a bunch of lies like how I supposedly have a regular drug use, that my kids were sexually molested, and that I'm bulimic and stick my fingers down my throat in front of them. An agent did a home inspection and closed the case and tried to go after the grandmother for giving false information to a federal agent. She keeps trying to contact me, and having other family members trying to contact me. She told me that if I didn't give back my child's only car seat, that she gave me to use, she will press charges against me for theft. She is all around being extremely vindictive and trying everything she can to get to hurt me and get to my kids. Can she press charges? Can she try to take my kids away? Is there anything I can do to make this craziness stop??
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?Tennessee

My children's grandmother (not related to me what so ever, my exes mother, never married) is trying everything she can to get to my kids. I have recently stopped letting my kids go over to her house because all she does is talk bad about me to my kids, threaten me, blackmail me, and tell me shes going to take my kids away and put me in jail. My ex (their father) is never around for me or my kids. Sometimes I don't even hear from him for months at a time. Visitation has been legally set with their father and he never follows it, and no where in the agreement does it say anything about the grandparents. So, trying to be nice, I have allowed my kids to go to my exes mother's house to spend time with his side of the family, and to occasionally get a break. This visitation is strictly my decision and it is not court ordered or legally assigned. Last time I asked her to bring my kids home at a certain time for a holiday, as it was discussed a week in advance, she absolutely refused when it came time to bringing them home, continued to threaten me, and then caused a huge scene when she got to my house acting like she was going to hit everyone in my family and cussing and calling every one names, all in front of my kids. So the cops were called and I was legally advised to not speak to her or let her around my children, and got an order of protection. Since then she has called The Department Of Child Services and gave them a bunch of lies like how I supposedly have a regular drug use, that my kids were sexually molested, and that I'm bulimic and stick my fingers down my throat in front of them. An agent did a home inspection and closed the case and tried to go after the grandmother for giving false information to a federal agent. She keeps trying to contact me, and having other family members trying to contact me. She told me that if I didn't give back my child's only car seat, that she gave me to use, she will press charges against me for theft. She is all around being extremely vindictive and trying everything she can to get to hurt me and get to my kids. Can she press charges? Can she try to take my kids away? Is there anything I can do to make this craziness stop??
What happened with the order of protection?
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
If you have an order of protection, she's not supposed to contact you. Report the violation, each time she violates it.

Either way, do not respond to this person. Block her on social media. Block her, or don't answer phone or text. Walk away if you see her. Do not engage.
 

commentator

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?Tennessee

My children's grandmother (not related to me what so ever, my exes mother, never married) is trying everything she can to get to my kids. I have recently stopped letting my kids go over to her house because all she does is talk bad about me to my kids, threaten me, blackmail me, and tell me shes going to take my kids away and put me in jail. My ex (their father) is never around for me or my kids. Sometimes I don't even hear from him for months at a time. Visitation has been legally set with their father and he never follows it, and no where in the agreement does it say anything about the grandparents. So, trying to be nice, I have allowed my kids to go to my exes mother's house to spend time with his side of the family, and to occasionally get a break. This visitation is strictly my decision and it is not court ordered or legally assigned. Last time I asked her to bring my kids home at a certain time for a holiday, as it was discussed a week in advance, she absolutely refused when it came time to bringing them home, continued to threaten me, and then caused a huge scene when she got to my house acting like she was going to hit everyone in my family and cussing and calling every one names, all in front of my kids. So the cops were called and I was legally advised to not speak to her or let her around my children, and got an order of protection. Since then she has called The Department Of Child Services and gave them a bunch of lies like how I supposedly have a regular drug use, that my kids were sexually molested, and that I'm bulimic and stick my fingers down my throat in front of them. An agent did a home inspection and closed the case and tried to go after the grandmother for giving false information to a federal agent. She keeps trying to contact me, and having other family members trying to contact me. She told me that if I didn't give back my child's only car seat, that she gave me to use, she will press charges against me for theft. She is all around being extremely vindictive and trying everything she can to get to hurt me and get to my kids. Can she press charges? Can she try to take my kids away? Is there anything I can do to make this craziness stop??
You said it, "This visitation is strictly my decision, and it is not court ordered or legally assigned. " That's the way it is.

I am positive that you have been told exactly what you needed to hear from everyone else you have dealt with so far. So I assume you are just coming here for reassurance.

You say she called the Department of Child Services and yada yada.....You know what? This is the part of your post I really do not believe. In the first place, they would NEVER EVER EVER tell you they were going after the grandmother for giving false information to a federal agent! For one thing, a representative of the Department of Children's Services is NOT a federal agent. Maybe this is just overstatement on your part. But it is not the sort of thing you would ever hear from the Department if you were being reported and investigated for alleged child abuse. So of course, she's nowhere close to "taking your kids away." Unless, of course the using drugs and mistreating your children charges have any validity.

Can she press charges for what? Do you really believe the DA's office would be interested in hearing how you won't give a used child car seat back to her? Do you really believe that in a she said/she said situation like this, the police would be likely to involve themselves? How do you think your kids are going to be taken away if she has already called DCS and has tried to get your children taken away and has failed so totally? You're talking very foolishly.

Quote: "Is there anything to do that will make this craziness stop?"

Answer: You KNOW there is. It is blocking her, stop using her for free baby sitting when you guys are on good terms, end all interaction with her, stay away from her, deal only with your ex husband and only based on the terms of your court order, in other words, if he wants to do his vacation visitation, that needs to be worked out ONLY by you and him. The thing is, unreinforced behavior does stop. You have been listening, fighting with her, paying lots of attention, in other words, you have been providing her with another end for this on going feud. And you do not have to. You have a court order, I'm sure the police told you what to do.

For goodness sake, please do not use the old saw, "But if I do that, she'll just do something worse, she'll just make a bigger scene!" She's bullying you, and the way to stop the bullying behavior is to remove her from your life. You are an adult and you can do this. Brace up and do it!
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
You said it, "This visitation is strictly my decision, and it is not court ordered or legally assigned. " That's the way it is.

I am positive that you have been told exactly what you needed to hear from everyone else you have dealt with so far. So I assume you are just coming here for reassurance.

You say she called the Department of Child Services and yada yada.....You know what? This is the part of your post I really do not believe. In the first place, they would NEVER EVER EVER tell you they were going after the grandmother for giving false information to a federal agent! For one thing, a representative of the Department of Children's Services is NOT a federal agent. Maybe this is just overstatement on your part. But it is not the sort of thing you would ever hear from the Department if you were being reported and investigated for alleged child abuse. So of course, she's nowhere close to "taking your kids away." Unless, of course the using drugs and mistreating your children charges have any validity.

Can she press charges for what? Do you really believe the DA's office would be interested in hearing how you won't give a used child car seat back to her? Do you really believe that in a she said/she said situation like this, the police would be likely to involve themselves? How do you think your kids are going to be taken away if she has already called DCS and has tried to get your children taken away and has failed so totally? You're talking very foolishly.

Quote: "Is there anything to do that will make this craziness stop?"

Answer: You KNOW there is. It is blocking her, stop using her for free baby sitting when you guys are on good terms, end all interaction with her, stay away from her, deal only with your ex husband and only based on the terms of your court order, in other words, if he wants to do his vacation visitation, that needs to be worked out ONLY by you and him. The thing is, unreinforced behavior does stop. You have been listening, fighting with her, paying lots of attention, in other words, you have been providing her with another end for this on going feud. And you do not have to. You have a court order, I'm sure the police told you what to do.

For goodness sake, please do not use the old saw, "But if I do that, she'll just do something worse, she'll just make a bigger scene!" She's bullying you, and the way to stop the bullying behavior is to remove her from your life. You are an adult and you can do this. Brace up and do it!
I agree with everything in this post except the bolded. I agree with the federal agent part of the bolded, but I know of at least 3 or 4 families where CPS/DCS/DCFS did indeed tell the family that they were going after the accuser for maliciously false accusations.

In fact, I personally know of one woman (and I cheered) who actually went to jail for false accusations, and the family she accused was well aware of it. She did not serve much actual time in jail, but she did go to jail. She was then on probation for like 5 years.
 

t74

Member
Buy your own car seat and give the one she thinks is "hers" to a family member to take to her.
 

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