Ex fiancee spreading lies about me at former workplace

[RedSox5373]

Georgia. I'm in Texas now.

Ex and I broke up in May 2017. We were on-again/off-again through August. She was the one who broke up with me and pretty much left me for another guy.

The two of us worked together. I worked there for five years. She has only been there three years now. In August 2017, I moved 800 miles away for a better job.

Anyway, in November 2017, someone "allegedly" hacked a few of her accounts. Facebook, Twitter, her email and maybe some more. She went to the police and the police told her to change her phone number and change her passwords. They also told her they believed it was me, because "it's always an ex." The police then called me at my new work place, accused me of doing it and tried to get me to admit to it. I didn't, of course.

Well, the ex took that and ran with it, informing my former bosses, co-workers, roommates and friends that I hacked into her accounts. Since November, I've had a lot of people delete me on FB and some friends (who still work with her) just don't talk to me anymore. The ex apparently told a bunch of people not to talk with me because it could get them or me into legal trouble. She's also spreading a lot of other lies about our relationship and breakup.

Part of me wants to address this situation because it's upsetting that false information is hurting my reputation. Even though I'm 800 miles away, we still work for the same parent company, just different offices and cities.

But the other part wants to just ignore it and chalk it up as "it doesn't matter anymore." It's all part of the breakup and moving on process.

Thoughts?

 

[quincy]

Georgia. I'm in Texas now.

Ex and I broke up in May 2017. We were on-again/off-again through August. She was the one who broke up with me and pretty much left me for another guy.

The two of us worked together. I worked there for five years. She has only been there three years now. In August 2017, I moved 800 miles away for a better job.

Anyway, in November 2017, someone "allegedly" hacked a few of her accounts. Facebook, Twitter, her email and maybe some more. She went to the police and the police told her to change her phone number and change her passwords. They also told her they believed it was me, because "it's always an ex." The police then called me at my new work place, accused me of doing it and tried to get me to admit to it. I didn't, of course.

Well, the ex took that and ran with it, informing my former bosses, co-workers, roommates and friends that I hacked into her accounts. Since November, I've had a lot of people delete me on FB and some friends (who still work with her) just don't talk to me anymore. The ex apparently told a bunch of people not to talk with me because it could get them or me into legal trouble. She's also spreading a lot of other lies about our relationship and breakup.

Part of me wants to address this situation because it's upsetting that false information is hurting my reputation. Even though I'm 800 miles away, we still work for the same parent company, just different offices and cities.

But the other part wants to just ignore it and chalk it up as "it doesn't matter anymore." It's all part of the breakup and moving on process.

Thoughts?

My first thought is that what the the police said to your ex and to you was odd.

 

[LdiJ]

Georgia. I'm in Texas now.

Ex and I broke up in May 2017. We were on-again/off-again through August. She was the one who broke up with me and pretty much left me for another guy.

The two of us worked together. I worked there for five years. She has only been there three years now. In August 2017, I moved 800 miles away for a better job.

Anyway, in November 2017, someone "allegedly" hacked a few of her accounts. Facebook, Twitter, her email and maybe some more. She went to the police and the police told her to change her phone number and change her passwords. They also told her they believed it was me, because "it's always an ex." The police then called me at my new work place, accused me of doing it and tried to get me to admit to it. I didn't, of course.

Well, the ex took that and ran with it, informing my former bosses, co-workers, roommates and friends that I hacked into her accounts. Since November, I've had a lot of people delete me on FB and some friends (who still work with her) just don't talk to me anymore. The ex apparently told a bunch of people not to talk with me because it could get them or me into legal trouble. She's also spreading a lot of other lies about our relationship and breakup.

Part of me wants to address this situation because it's upsetting that false information is hurting my reputation. Even though I'm 800 miles away, we still work for the same parent company, just different offices and cities.

But the other part wants to just ignore it and chalk it up as "it doesn't matter anymore." It's all part of the breakup and moving on process.

Thoughts?

Chalk it up as "it doesn't matter anymore". If you do not feed into the drama, you are much more likely to come out of it with a favorable reaction from your employer. Address it only if you actually have to address it.

 

[RedSox5373]

My first thought is that what the the police said to your ex and to you was odd.

What do you mean?

 

[quincy]

What do you mean?

You said your ex-girlfriend has a new boyfriend, correct?

How was the alleged hacking discovered? Do you know what resulted from the hacking?

If your ex-girlfriend's comments to others at your workplace had or have an economic impact (e.g., you are demoted, not promoted, fired) as a direct result of her slander, you could consider consulting with an attorney to discuss sending your ex a cease and desist letter (with the intent of stopping the flow of nonsense). The pros and cons of a defamation claim could also be discussed (if injury to your reputation is severe enough).

Whenever a couple breaks up, there is a risk that one or both will create negative stories about the other. This can be to help justify to others (and themselves) the failure of the relationship. Most who hear the negative stories will accept them for what they are - stories.

If the police follow up with you on the alleged hacking (which I think is doubtful), it can be smart to say nothing. Exercise your right to remain silent.

 

[Just Blue]

OP has a Px Hx.

 

[quincy]

OP has a Px Hx.

Thanks. I forgot (once again) to check.

Apparently this was all discussed back in November. The advice hasn't changed.

Here is a link to the previous thread: https://forum.freeadvice.com/other-crimes-federal-state-4/being-accused-harassment-stalking-639769.html