Being Harrassed by alleged "biological" child

[beldindaschild]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

My husband who is father to three lovely adult children was contacted by an adult female who claims to be his child. My husband admitted to me that he was involved with her mother one time and while it is possible he believed she had a boyfriend at the time so it could have been anyone. For some reason or another she is convinced that her father is my husband and If what she is saying is true, it was before me and my children were not born, so I have no animosity to this woman or her claims but My husband has no interest in determining whether he is the father of this adult child and from what we understand because she is adult she cannot force him to take a paternity test. She just sent a postcard to him on father's day: Stating: Even though I may never know the truth about my existence, I do know that you are a coward for not wanting to help me determine the truth. Happy Father's day.

She is bitter that he wants nothing to do with her and claims she just wants to know the truth and has said that she "googledalert" his name and when he passes she will find out and wreak havoc to his estate to determine paternity at his death.

My questions are this? Can we file harrassment charges against this women for the postcard she sent on Father's Day. It was very insulting as my husband has been a good provider and caregiver to our 3 successful adult children.

Also, when my husband passes is there a way we can block her from making any claim to his estate or do illegitimate children who are never determined while person is alive even permitted to make a claim.

We want her to get therapy and maybe serve some jail time for harrassing and upsetting our lives. We only hear from her every few years but we want it to stop altoghether. Can we sue her in Court to make her go away. thank you.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

My husband who is father to three lovely adult children was contacted by an adult female who claims to be his child. My husband admitted to me that he was involved with her mother one time and while it is possible he believed she had a boyfriend at the time so it could have been anyone. For some reason or another she is convinced that her father is my husband and If what she is saying is true, it was before me and my children were not born, so I have no animosity to this woman or her claims but My husband has no interest in determining whether he is the father of this adult child and from what we understand because she is adult she cannot force him to take a paternity test. She just sent a postcard to him on father's day: Stating: Even though I may never know the truth about my existence, I do know that you are a coward for not wanting to help me determine the truth. Happy Father's day.

She is bitter that he wants nothing to do with her and claims she just wants to know the truth and has said that she "googledalert" his name and when he passes she will find out and wreak havoc to his estate to determine paternity at his death.

My questions are this? Can we file harrassment charges against this women for the postcard she sent on Father's Day. It was very insulting as my husband has been a good provider and caregiver to our 3 successful adult children.

Also, when my husband passes is there a way we can block her from making any claim to his estate or do illegitimate children who are never determined while person is alive even permitted to make a claim.

We want her to get therapy and maybe serve some jail time for harrassing and upsetting our lives. We only hear from her every few years but we want it to stop altoghether. Can we sue her in Court to make her go away. thank you.

Although I COULD give you the legal answer to this question...I will not. The total disregard for the potential child is so...offensive.

Hire a local attorney to assist the possible SPERM DONOR.

 

[Eekamouse]

Who is it going to hurt really? Taking a paternity test isn't going to do anything but answer her very understandable question, who is her father? Your husband can specifically exclude her from his will if that's what he wants and it's not like at this late date anyone is going to come after him for child support. Your husband said there was a possibility that he could be her father. Why not do this for her? How would you feel if you didn't know who your father was? You and your husband don't have to be total jerks about this matter. I'm sure she'd like his health history if he is her dad and it would be very generous if you would try to see this from a different point of view.

 

[Banned_Princess]

She is definitely not going to jail. she isn't even unlawfully harassing you.

just go take the test. it sounds like thats all she wants.

 

[commentator]

Unless your husband is Hank Williams grade famous, he shouldn't have any problem keeping her from challenging his estate. A competent attorney can take care of this for you. But I am on the side of everyone else here. Why shouldn't he do the paternity test? It's totally possible that this person has simply fixated on him, and his having refused to make the determination is fanning the fire of her obsession. It is very possible he's not her father, too. Perhaps if this were clearly determined, it would be to your advantage. If he is her biological father, he could provide her with whatever medical information she might want, and let her know clearly that he wants no contact with her. For whatever reason.

But you say that you want her banned from contacting you, and you want her to be forced to seek mental health treatment, and it seems you want a lot when he's not even willing to establish clearly whether he is or is not the father.

 

[Proserpina]

Unless your husband is Hank Williams grade famous, he shouldn't have any problem keeping her from challenging his estate. A competent attorney can take care of this for you. But I am on the side of everyone else here. Why shouldn't he do the paternity test? It's totally possible that this person has simply fixated on him, and his having refused to make the determination is fanning the fire of her obsession. It is very possible he's not her father, too. Perhaps if this were clearly determined, it would be to your advantage. If he is her biological father, he could provide her with whatever medical information she might want, and let her know clearly that he wants no contact with her. For whatever reason.

But you say that you want her banned from contacting you, and you want her to be forced to seek mental health treatment, and it seems you want a lot when he's not even willing to establish clearly whether he is or is not the father.

It also does not fit the OP's claims that she has no animosity - it's quite clear that there is quite a goodly amount present!

 

[cbg]

What nasty people you and your husband are.

Can we file harrassment charges against this women for the postcard she sent on Father's Day. No. That's not even remotely enough for harassment charges. A POSTCARD? If it offends you that much, drop it in the recycler or shredder and forget about it.

Also, when my husband passes is there a way we can block her from making any claim to his estate or do illegitimate children who are never determined while person is alive even permitted to make a claim. He can't stop her from trying. He may be able to block her from succeeding. Of course, he could probably stop the whole thing by simply taking the damned paternity test but it sounds as if he's too stubborn and too lacking in even basic human sympathy to do that. And you're just as bad, if not worse.

We want her to get therapy and maybe serve some jail time for harrassing and upsetting our lives. Not gonna happen. Frankly, cupcake, you and your husband may think you're all that but trust me, you're not important enough in the overall scheme of things for some court to violate her rights and jail her because you don't like to think that maybe someone else has a claim on his precious little self.

 

[csi7]

First, without knowing whether or not he is the biological sperm donor, the rest of the questions may be answered by the single DNA test.

It is awful that you're already talking about settlement of the estate.

I'd suggest a person who is not involved with either party to be the one to handle the DNA test results due to your feelings. By the way, you are a legal stranger in this case.

 

[Just Blue]

I so love it when others agree with me...

 

[nextwife]

This "child" may already have a legal father from whom they'd have inheritance rights. Regardless of DNA, it appears that mom made a choice to EXCLUDE dad from knowledge of or participation with the child in any way that would impact who they grow to become, their values, their "life education" etc. Dad never got to parent this person, to be a part of molding who they grew into. I can see why he does not wish to participate in becoming nothing more than a sperm donor.

At this point, regardless of DNA outcome, he cannot get to help raise this "child", so how can he ever really get to be their parent?

 

[FarmerJ]

OP Incase you didnt know it there are DNA search related firms that claim that SAY for example one party can register and provide a sample and they will search dna data bases to see if they can find a match like say a adoptee who is seeking information. I agree with many who replied to you tell him to just get the test and be done with it the odds of him being bio parent are same as him NOT, If by chance he is not the father you can become the bigger person and send this young woman a note` Hopefully you can find the answers you seek , now that we know XYZ is not the father im sure we can all move forward and put this behind ? If he is the bio parent offer to do medical hist updates He is free to politely but firmly tell her that he is not interested in having a parent -adult child relationship with her. if he is bio parent it is a choice. BTW about a possible estate , Dont worry about it for all you know you both could end up very broke in your so called retirement years and may not have a dime to leave to anyone anyway.

 

[LdiJ]

This "child" may already have a legal father from whom they'd have inheritance rights. Regardless of DNA, it appears that mom made a choice to EXCLUDE dad from knowledge of or participation with the child in any way that would impact who they grow to become, their values, their "life education" etc. Dad never got to parent this person, to be a part of molding who they grew into. I can see why he does not wish to participate in becoming nothing more than a sperm donor.

At this point, regardless of DNA outcome, he cannot get to help raise this "child", so how can he ever really get to be their parent?

I don't even know what to say to this....I have known people who have met their adult children and have formed strong bonds. This is just way out in left field.

 

[beldindaschild]

Wow. I didn't realize that the law had such moral compass. This adult contacted my 16 yr old daughter a few years ago on MySpaceand told her she might be her sister. My daughter was scared and upset for months. She had no right to do that and we have no obligation to her under the law. I am going to take the post card and the letters to the da and let them prosecute or get restraining order. My husband recalls being confronted by the mother when she was pregnant but she never followed up with him so he assumed it wasn't him. Now 20 years later he is getting letters and postcstds and our children are being contacted on social networks. I don't know who or why she thinks she has the right to interefere with our lives

 

[cbg]

Yeah, well, good luck with having her prosecuted because she sent you a postcard.

 

[Ohiogal]

Wow. I didn't realize that the law had such moral compass. This adult contacted my 16 yr old daughter a few years ago on MySpaceand told her she might be her sister. My daughter was scared and upset for months. She had no right to do that and we have no obligation to her under the law. I am going to take the post card and the letters to the da and let them prosecute or get restraining order. My husband recalls being confronted by the mother when she was pregnant but she never followed up with him so he assumed it wasn't him. Now 20 years later he is getting letters and postcstds and our children are being contacted on social networks. I don't know who or why she thinks she has the right to interefere with our lives

Maybe your husband shouldn't have been so free with his seed. Maybe your daughter could have had it explained how babies are made and that her father had relationships before the one with you. Good grief. Your child was scared and upset for months? She needs to get counseling if she was that traumatized.
As for the woman never following up, apparently neither did your husband.