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Prenuptial agreement?

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cmb1975

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I am planning on getting married within the next year. Both of us were married previously and went through expensive divorces. I will be hiring a lawyer to draw up the prenuptial; however, I want to know what my options are before sitting down with an attorney.

We are looking to protect ourselves both in case of a divorce and clarify each other’s rights in the event of one of our deaths.

She has three kids for a previous marriage and I have one. We have custody of all four children. We are not going to have more kids together. She and I have different obligations in our divorce and custody agreements from our previous marriages; such as, percentages and amounts that we are responsible for paying for college. Therefore, we want to leave saving for these expenditures as individual responsibilities.

We live in California and will be getting married in either California or Hawaii, than we will move to Colorado the following year. Upon my military retirement we will either stay in CO, or move to CA or AZ.

I have been in the military for 19 years and plan in staying in for a total of 25 years. I have been injured in both combat and in training and have limiting, but not debilitating injuries. I want to protect my pension because it provides me true security.

I have maybe $200-300,000 in property and stocks and will likely receive a substantial inheritance in the coming years. Currently I make about 2-3 times what she makes; however, upon my military retirement I plan on taking a job making considerably less money.

In case of divorce, I do not want to pay any spousal support or receive any if income situations are reversed.

My future wife does not have any significant assets at this time. I know she has a large student loan (of an unknown amount to me) from her two MA’s and the PhD she is currently working on.

She makes decent money now and her earnings are likely to go up significantly upon completion of her PhD. She will also likely receive an inheritance that she would pass to her children.

We are both independent with our money, which works for us. We both want the ability to buy something without feeling like we are taking from the other. This is especially important to us because of different needs and expenses for the children.

So here is what I think we want:

All joint property primary residence/ furnishings, etc. is all joint property regardless of who “pays more.” Joint accounts and joint investments remain joint assets. This is for both assets and debts.

Individual accounts, debt, investments, and returns on investments (to include any inherited monies) remain as individual property.

Pensions and retirement savings remain individual property in the event of a divorce, joint in the event of death.

We are not looking to go over every nickel and dime; however, we want to protect the big stuff and maintain a level of individual responsibility for our future and what we have to leave the children…even for “I need” loans after they move out.

So now that I have given the rundown on what we have, and what we want to protect, here are the real questions:

Is there anything in the “we want” category that is unreasonable or would not be considered valid?

Is there anything else that we should consider?

What are the consequences of creating an agreement in one state than living in another? Or does that just need to be clarified in the agreement?

I believe property we bring into a marriage is supposed to remain ours, but there seems to be a gray area in income I make off things like my rental property. The houses may still be mine but income can be considered joint, but what if I want to reinvest the income? The same question goes for any monies made of an inheritance.

In addition to the prenuptial agreement, I think we need a will that becomes irrevocable upon one of our deaths, so that the remaining joint assets are divided equally among the children upon the others death. For say, if she passes first, we do not want her children worrying that I will leave all of the assets to my child when I die. However, we want to be able to leave any individual monies/ assets at the time of our death to which we choose: spouse of children. What is the best way to go about this? Or should that be included in a prenuptial?
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
For a prenup to be valid, you must each have an attorney - and there must be a certain amount of time for the each side to review it.

You can accomplish some of the same things by setting up a trust and/or just never mingling assets. Even if you do those things, the prenup will reduce your risk, but it may not be 100% necessary.

Bottom line, though, is that what you're trying to do is detailed and needs to be handled properly. You also have enough at stake that it's worth the cost of an attorney. Let your attorney handle it.
 

cmb1975

Junior Member
Bottom line, though, is that what you're trying to do is detailed and needs to be handled properly. You also have enough at stake that it's worth the cost of an attorney. Let your attorney handle it.
Agreed. I plan on hiring an attorney. I just want to make sure I am thinking about everything and heading in the right direction before talking with one to help reduce/ eliminate unnecessary charges.

I know we will need separate attorneys to represent us and I want to limit the back and forth negotiations as much as possible by not asking for thing that are not valid. I also want to prevent overlooking something.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
Her student loans will never become yours anyway, and separate inheritances remain separate as long as they are not co-mingled. But you have a very complex financial situation and a significant amount of money to protect....don't skimp on the lawyer.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
One other thing that you should consider are the inheritance laws that will govern the state where one or more of you may pass away. If that is Colorado, then those are the laws that your respective attorneys may need to look at.

Sometimes its not possible to completely disinherit a spouse from receiving a share of even separate property. Most prenups are for the purpose of ensuring what happens to property in the event that a couple divorces. They generally don't govern what happens to property in the event that someone passes away.

It may be that you need a two pronged attack to make things the way that you want them. A prenup that handles what might happen in the case of a divorce, and estate planning that handles what might happen when one of you passes away.
 

Tex78704

Member
The military pension thing may be trickier with regards to her relinquishing her right to this, if that is your intent. If you marry in year 20 of a 25 year career, and divorce after you retire, she would normally be entitled to half of 5 over 25, or half of 1/5, or roughly 10% of your retirement check.

However, she would likely be advised to refuse to relinquish her right to this
 

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