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    Since you people are famous for quoting others.

    to Quote Ironwil :

    "[B]Heated replies are usually not helpful[/B]"

    "I've seen a lot of heated replies to this posting, and many of them were highly insulting. Regardless of how you interpret someone's question, being insulting rarely helps educating people."

    In the words of Brad Hamilton [B]"Learn it. Know it. Live it!"[/B]
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    obviously i'm not the only one on here that thinks you're ridiculous. how can you say he doesn't care about his daughters well-being?
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    No I am still the custodial parent. He has to have a court hearing to have custody changed, you don't know what you are talking about.
  4. You and your FAKE lawyer friends on here are pathetic. You should all be banned from commenting and giving phony advice to people. You are all judgmental and ignorant people that talk like you actually can help anyone with anything. Get a life. Maybe then you all wouldn't be such miserable people.
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    No hard feelings, thanks for proving me right! Happy New Year
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    Thanks for your opinion but if there was more to the court order I would have stated so- they gave us nothing other than what I wrote for the Christmas break. The previous orders only stated that he is responsible for cost of them going to Arkansas and I am responsible for cost of getting them home.
    I am not trying to pull one over on anyone, I have no reason to lie to a forum. It is what it is.
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    Could you go back to my stealing question thread i updated the information and need answers..
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    #50 post. Fantastic!!
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    Woah--I had no idea how long that was. I guess I feel this huge need to defend myself. I've never posted on a forum before. Sorry about that.
  10. View Conversation
    Thanks. I'm really not trying to be heavy handed in the least. In fact, I'm bawling right now thinking that no one gets it and that I've been made out to be a terrible person. I love the kids and its really hard for me to see little more than their physical needs being met. Mom loves them but literally cannot give more. My husband and I (especially since I got into the picture) take the kids often just because we want to be with them. We live too far away to see them as much as they need, though. I posted here because I wanted to know if there was any way to do it without hurting mom. I really care about that. I've worked SO hard to get everyone working together like a big family, because I think kids benefit from seeing a big group of people that love them a ton. I don't want that trashed because I don't want anyone to feel like they are losing. I'm not perfect because I'm a teacher. And I'm certainly not rich. But I do have a lot of resources that they can benefit from on a daily basis. I want to see them succeed. If I didn't give a damn about them, I encourage my husband to leave it alone so we could have our own family. It's not like I think it's the easy way out "take the kids away". No freaking way! It would be one of the hardest things I'd ever do to go from being part time caretaker to full time caretaker in one day.

    **To clarify, dad lost his virginity at 19 (he waited until he found someone he thought he was going to marry-seriously). She was pregnant two weeks later and when it came time for birth, she let him know that their needed to be a paternity test. He tried to make it work for a year, but there were so many signs saying that she was continuing her fun with other guys that he just couldn't go to work wondering anymore. He met the second mom a year later. They remained friends and then roommates for a few months. They were like best friends (talking/hanging out/smoking pot). Then she got pregnant. No fidelity issues, but she regulary broke up with him then came back doing the whole I love you, I don't love you thing. He remained in that pattern with her for over a year until he couldn't deal with being hurt anymore. They remained ok (he wanted to make it work with the boys and still loved her even though she was clear that she didn't love him). They slept together 1 night (while they weren't dating) because they ran into eachother out somewhere and had quite a bit to drink. A few weeks later, she was pregnant. They weren't together at all through the pregnancy, but he was very involved with first boy and all doctors appointments, etc. They remained on decent terms for a year and a half, then I came into the picture. It has been great seeing a mom obviously love her kids WAY more than her mom loved her--she changed the cycle. But as the boys get older and older, they are missing out on more and more. I don't care if people are geniuses. No big deal. I care when there are emotional and mental images developing because she isn't capable (literally doesn't know how and doesn't have it in her) to help. We encourage a lot of things and often model what it CAN be like. She notices it and often says, why don't they do that for me? We talk about but she doesn't ever have enough energy to follow through. Best scenario would be living in the same town sharing custody because I believe they need their mom's love--I will never be able to offer than same thing. But I know that just being there isn't going to cut it. Geeze I wish everyone knew us personally. I love people in general. I HATE feeling like I'm a crappy person. Dad really wants this and it came to a head last night when she called him to talk about the boys going crazy hitting people and screaming inappropriate things and that she doesn't know what to do. She just can't take it. (And she hasn't even had her fourth child yet-she's due in September!)

    Oh-and to clarify-I don't care if someone is on public assistance. My parents raised me for the first few years on that. The deal is, part of the reason she is surviving is that my husband pays a huge amount in child support, and we're convinced that the reason she hasn't asked us to take the boys by now is because she'll lose the money.

    I know she smokes because she's told me accidentally. You can tell by her eyes and the way she talks. It's not often that we see her high when we're there, but it's gotta suck to be a mom who feels like she has to smoke at all when she's pregnant just so she can keep from freaking out.

    Thanks for being the ONLY person who isn't totally ready to hang me. I didn't realize how it would turn out, and I think it really would be different if people knew all parties involved.
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