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Suing my ex-wife for $1.1 million for lying in family court

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HighwayMan

Super Secret Senior Member
I didn't expect to be ridiculed. And my questions were not answered. I assume everyone wants to end lying in court. Change in the system only comes from trying.
Well, I can relate to your feelings. I've known a few people who had similar problems during divorces. One of my co-workers was accused by his wife in an official complaint that he is a drug user and shouldn't have custody of his kids. We get randomly drug tested and the chances of him being a drug user was easily disproved. She then claimed that her attorney didn't explain things properly to her and it wasn't her fault that the complaint was written up the way it was. Right.

It's also frustrating that "the system" doesn't seem to do anything about these situations. Just like here in New York courts in divorce cases don't seem to care about personal property. I lost a large amount of personal property during my divorce when my wife refused to give it back. No valuable stuff, but valuable to me. My attorney advised me that the courts don't care about "stuff" and to try my best to forget about it. I was very angry and frustrated by that but life went on. I was realistic about it.

However, it's not worth the huge amount of time and effort and money to fight this. Most people see this and accept this, as difficult as it is.
 


quincy

Senior Member
Well, I can relate to your feelings ...

It's also frustrating that "the system" doesn't seem to do anything about these situations. Just like here in New York courts in divorce cases don't seem to care about personal property. I lost a large amount of personal property during my divorce when my wife refused to give it back. No valuable stuff, but valuable to me. My attorney advised me that the courts don't care about "stuff" and to try my best to forget about it. I was very angry and frustrated by that but life went on. I was realistic about it.[/B]

However, it's not worth the huge amount of time and effort and money to fight this. Most people see this and accept this, as difficult as it is.
Although it can be frustrating, and embarrassing and even harmful, to be lied about in court, the time to address and refute these lies will be in court.

Everyone is given the opportunity to present their evidence. Court records reflect both sides.

It is important when facing false allegations in court that you have prepared well and armed yourself with evidence enough to show these allegations are false. It often takes a skilled attorney to present this evidence.

When falsely accused of crimes, I would not advise anyone to head into court without good and experienced legal representation.


(Oops ... didn't mean to bold my post)
 

Litargo

Member
Here are 2 cases one of which is eerily similar to my case
http://shrink4men.com/2011/08/16/man-awarded-852000-in-civil-court-after-ex-wife-falsely-accuses-him-of-sexual-abuse/
http://www.saveservices.org/2012/10/man-wins-750000-in-damages-against-wife-in-false-allegations-custody-case/

Is there any objective way to assess how good an attorney is? It takes an unusual, creative and above al, capable, attorney to take a case like that. My opinion is that there is a huge difference in capability between attorneys. I had one who I had to tell which statutes could be used and another one who was very good at finding odd statutes and sample cases. thanks
 

quincy

Senior Member
Here are 2 cases one of which is eerily similar to my case
http://shrink4men.com/2011/08/16/man-awarded-852000-in-civil-court-after-ex-wife-falsely-accuses-him-of-sexual-abuse/
http://www.saveservices.org/2012/10/man-wins-750000-in-damages-against-wife-in-false-allegations-custody-case/

Is there any objective way to assess how good an attorney is? It takes an unusual, creative and above al, capable, attorney to take a case like that. My opinion is that there is a huge difference in capability between attorneys. I had one who I had to tell which statutes could be used and another one who was very good at finding odd statutes and sample cases. thanks
I haven't read the cases you linked to yet - but I will.

Finding an attorney that is best for you and your case can often mean making a list of several attorneys in your area who specialize in the appropriate field, making appointments to meet with each of them to discuss your case, and then winnowing your list down by what you see, hear and learn from them.

There is no one best way to choose an attorney or one best attorney, in other words.

I will add more after I read the cases.
 

Litargo

Member
Also, this is not all about activism or compensation. Of course, if my ex wife gets convicted I am expecting to have a huge advantage in family court to get my son either full or half custody. That really is the only thing which means something to me.

And I understand that therapy can help but it is a fact that a person can destroy a person's life in court through false accusations. I bet it happens every day and I want to fight it to the best of my abilities.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Also, this is not all about activism or compensation. Of course, if my ex wife gets convicted I am expecting to have a huge advantage in family court to get my son either full or half custody. That really is the only thing which means something to me.

And I understand that therapy can help but it is a fact that a person can destroy a person's life in court through false accusations. I bet it happens every day and I want to fight it to the best of my abilities.
You should not hold out hopes of changing the justice system.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
I think for you, a good attorney would be one that would educate you, so that you'd understand where you erred, and *not* take the case.

For example, you have a fundamental misunderstanding of what "Freedom of Speech" means. That your online posting in 2015 about your situation was used against you in court as "harassing" was not a free speech violation.

I think, if you pursue this, you will put yourself in an even worse situation with your children, and it certainly won't help you with custody. In fact, in both sources you cited, the fathers did not get these monetary judgements until well after they were awarded custody of the children.
 
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quincy

Senior Member
Also, this is not all about activism or compensation. Of course, if my ex wife gets convicted I am expecting to have a huge advantage in family court to get my son either full or half custody. That really is the only thing which means something to me.

And I understand that therapy can help but it is a fact that a person can destroy a person's life in court through false accusations. I bet it happens every day and I want to fight it to the best of my abilities.
I read the articles you linked to on the two custody cases and, although I can see where you see some similarities, you should understand cases like those are extreme and rare exceptions.

That said, you can start your search for attorneys in Washington, set up appointments to review your documents, let these attorneys offer their opinions, and you can see where this takes you.

I am not unsympathetic to your situation, by the way. I know how ugly false allegations can be and how much harm can come from lies.

Good luck.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Additionally - given that Mom likely does not have the resources to pay a sum like you're seeking? Do not expect an attorney to take your case on contingency - so you hopefully have deep pockets.
 

justalayman

Senior Member
Also, this is not all about activism or compensation. Of course, if my ex wife gets convicted I am expecting to have a huge advantage in family court to get my son either full or half custody. That really is the only thing which means something to me.

And I understand that therapy can help but it is a fact that a person can destroy a person's life in court through false accusations. I bet it happens every day and I want to fight it to the best of my abilities.
If your ex wife gets convicted? You sure are getting way ahead of yourself. There is almost no chance of you prevailing in your suit against her and even less chance the state will consider criminal charges against her.


I suggest you’ll run a risk of not gaining anything in regards to your child and maybe losing what you have now. Your posts don’t suggest a concerned father but a pissed off ex who wants to cause discord in his ex’s wife. You sound a bit, um, unhinged. If the courts see you in the same light as you come across to me here, it could have a negative impact on your situation with your son. Tread lightly and wisely.
 

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