Texas - We don't want child support payments from each other - thoughts?

[craig1023]

What is the name of your state? Texas

Hello,

Unfortunately my wife and I are going thru the divorce process after 4 years of marriage. We've been friends for years and years but ultimately the marriage didn't work and we remain very cordial. We both make about the same salary though she makes about $5K more than I do.

We've been separated for about a year and have split costs equally without issue. She is concerned that she will owe me for child support as she makes more money even though we split the time equally with our kids. I have no interest in pursuing child support from her and don't want her money and vice versa.

I've spoken with an attorney, and have been informed:

1) Its not what we want, its what's in the best interests of the children - though in our case, that does not appear to be a problem.
2) Her earning more money puts her at a disadvantage.
3) The recommended way for us to move forward with this in mind is through a mediated divorce where we apparently agree to not asking for child support from either party. Apparently we then have to "prove up" the decree to the judge and indicate that the decree covers all the necessary bases in terms of support, welfare, etc.

Did I get that about right?

As for why I don't want her money - we have been awesome co parents and both make good money (close to the same salary) and neither of us wants to change that. I assume her reasons of not wanting mine are similar.

Thanks

 

[adjusterjack]

Not sure why you would need mediation if you both agree.

Have you determined who will have physical custody? In other words where will the child live most of the time? The one who has primary physical custody is likely to have a higher cost of living. If it's her, her extra $5000 over you could be offset by that.

Do you own or rent? If you own what do you do with the house, sell it or does one of you live in it with the child? If you rent will one of you need a two bedroom and the other a one bedroom or both two bedrooms. Who gets the debts? Who pays for the insurance?

You really need to start analyzing every nickel and dime on paper.

There are financial statement forms you can provide for the court and there are support calculators that you can use to see where you end up.

Don't assume anything. Sit down together and work out the figures.

You'll find out soon enough if you really agree on everything.

 

[stealth2]

Here's the thing... right NOW you're amicable and in agreement. What happens in a year? In 10? If the time split changes? If one of you experiences an unexpected and significant increase/decrease in income? If one or the other settles with someone else who may not be as enamored of the conviviality you share with your ex? Or perhaps resents household money going out the door to the ex?

You can agree now, but child support is never static. It is always on the table to be requested and/or modified. Sometimes, it makes more sense to have an order (and agree to have it be a paper exchange where one makes the payment and the other returns it - understanding that such an action is not required nor enforceable).

And, to be honest, if your stbx is smart, she will be consulting with a lawyer herself. One lawyer simply can't represent both of you. So one of you (the unrepresented one) will always be at a disadvantage.

Just some thoughts of a morning.

 

[Taxing Matters]

Courts resolve disputes. Where the parties are in agreement on something there is no dispute and generally the court isn't going to issue an order contrary to the agreement. Yes, the best interests of the child is the standard used when a dispute is brought to the court concerning custody, visitation, and child support. But unless the agreement of the parents would clearly not meet the basic needs of the child I do not see the court interfering with the decisions the parents have made on splitting the support costs.

 

[HRZ]

Things rarely stay 50/50 especially once school starts ...and often one person has better health coverage options and so forth and who pays what as to unreimbursed medical if other provides the basic coverages ...school and medical agreement might be as important as ignoring minor salary differences.

 

[adjusterjack]

it makes more sense to have an order

The divorce decree is the order. Whatever the parties agree on now should be memorialized in the decree and if one of them want a modification at some future date due to a change in circumstances he/she is free to either petition the court for a modification or reach an agreement with the other that should also be memorialized by entering the agreement in the court records.

 

[stealth2]

The divorce decree is the order. Whatever the parties agree on now should be memorialized in the decree and if one of them want a modification at some future date due to a change in circumstances he/she is free to either petition the court for a modification or reach an agreement with the other that should also be memorialized by entering the agreement in the court records.

I expressed myself poorly. I should have stated specifically a CS order.

 

[xylene]

She is concerned that she will owe me for child support

Maybe your divorce is about to get less cordial.

This seems like a very adversarial concern from her.

 

[adjusterjack]

I wish I had a buck for every post that began "We are having an amicable divorce but..."

 

[Shadowbunny]

Here's a thought: go by the CS standards of your state. Then every month when your ex sends you the CS, put it in an interest-bearing account, maybe a 529 account. Best-case scenario when your kids are ready for college, there's $$ set aside for tuition. Worse-case scenario? Things take an adversarial turn a few years from now. Then you at least have the CS order already in place.

 

[LdiJ]

Here's a thought: go by the CS standards of your state. Then every month when your ex sends you the CS, put it in an interest-bearing account, maybe a 529 account. Best-case scenario when your kids are ready for college, there's $$ set aside for tuition. Worse-case scenario? Things take an adversarial turn a few years from now. Then you at least have the CS order already in place.

I like this idea a lot. However, I think that any CS order that gets put in place right now is probably going to be very small. It appears that they are agreeing to a 50/50 timeshare and the difference in their incomes is pretty small. That is not going to result in much of a child support order.

 

[xylene]

I like this idea a lot. However, I think that any CS order that gets put in place right now is probably going to be very small. It appears that they are agreeing to a 50/50 timeshare and the difference in their incomes is pretty small. That is not going to result in much of a child support order.

Exactly why the "must be absolutely not any, ever after too" is so problematic.

 

[Ohiogal]

How about you just follow the law in Texas:
Sec. 154.124. AGREEMENT CONCERNING SUPPORT. (a) To promote the amicable settlement of disputes between the parties to a suit, the parties may enter into a written agreement containing provisions for support of the child and for modification of the agreement, including variations from the child support guidelines provided by Subchapter C.
(b) If the court finds that the agreement is in the child's best interest, the court shall render an order in accordance with the agreement.
(c) Terms of the agreement pertaining to child support in the order may be enforced by all remedies available for enforcement of a judgment, including contempt, but are not enforceable as a contract.
(d) If the court finds the agreement is not in the child's best interest, the court may request the parties to submit a revised agreement or the court may render an order for the support of the child.

Added by Acts 1995, 74th Leg., ch. 20, Sec. 1, eff. April 20, 1995. Amended by Acts 2003, 78th Leg., ch. 480, Sec. 1, eff. Sept. 1, 2003.


The full statute is here so read and learn: https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/FA/htm/FA.154.htm