What is the name of your state? Ohio currently, but moving to PA
Hello-- My fiancé and I currently live in Ohio and own a home together (jointly-- everything is 50/50 and we share a joint checking account through which we both contribute equally and pay all expenses from). He is newly retired, and retired due to some increasing memory issues. He has not been diagnosed with anything formally, but it looks as though he does have some form of early dementia. We are in the process of undergoing tests and he is under the care of a neurologist, and while it looks bad, there has not been any definitive diagnosis made just yet. I suspect that there will be one in the coming months.
In the midst of all of this, my employer is transferring me back to Pennsylvania.
As a result of the move, we will sell our current home, but also plan to purchase a new home in PA.
Given the fact that we simply don't know what will happen with his health, I was thinking that it made the most sense for me to buy the new home in my own name-- and to mortgage it alone. We both put a decent chunk down in the form of a downpayment in our current home, and he wants to do the same in a new home, but I am concerned about the legalities of that should he need care that I cannot provide down the road. And frankly, I'm just concerned about the fairness of that for him-- if his name is not on the house, is it really fair for him to put a large chunk down in the form of a downpayment?
I want to protect us both, and am in the financial position to swing doing the downpayment and the mortgage in my own name (this won't be easy, but I can probably do it), but he is not comfortable living with me and not paying his share when we have always done everything 50/50. I would much rather pay for the whole house and have him just live with me expense-free and not risk losing the asset later should he need longer term care, but I also recognize that he wants to pay his share. (He has a pension and is in the position to pay his own way, but if things get bad down the road, he will need those funds to pay for care)
My question is twofold:
1. Am I best to simply buy the house-- and pay for all of it myself, and perhaps have him pay rent in order to contribute? I want to protect us both, and I absolutely do not want to do anything that even has a hint of seeming fraudulent. This is completely uncharted territory for me and given all that is on my plate right now, I want to be sure that things are handled absolutely above board. I assume that we will each get funds back from the sale of our current home, though the plan is to put it on the market after we have purchased a new home. Therefore, any funds that would come from the sale would come after the new house closes.
2. Am I correct in assuming that we are best to remain unmarried? We have been engaged for close to five years, so this is not a new thing) Our finances have always been separate (apart from the joint account through which we pay our current household expenses) and I was told by several folks that we are probably smartest to not take the step to make things legal -- they indicated that this would be the best way for us both to protect ourselves and our individual finances.
Thanks for any guidance that you might have. Things are so scary right now, but I very much want to do the right thing for everyone involved, while also understanding the realities that our future likely holds.
Hello-- My fiancé and I currently live in Ohio and own a home together (jointly-- everything is 50/50 and we share a joint checking account through which we both contribute equally and pay all expenses from). He is newly retired, and retired due to some increasing memory issues. He has not been diagnosed with anything formally, but it looks as though he does have some form of early dementia. We are in the process of undergoing tests and he is under the care of a neurologist, and while it looks bad, there has not been any definitive diagnosis made just yet. I suspect that there will be one in the coming months.
In the midst of all of this, my employer is transferring me back to Pennsylvania.
As a result of the move, we will sell our current home, but also plan to purchase a new home in PA.
Given the fact that we simply don't know what will happen with his health, I was thinking that it made the most sense for me to buy the new home in my own name-- and to mortgage it alone. We both put a decent chunk down in the form of a downpayment in our current home, and he wants to do the same in a new home, but I am concerned about the legalities of that should he need care that I cannot provide down the road. And frankly, I'm just concerned about the fairness of that for him-- if his name is not on the house, is it really fair for him to put a large chunk down in the form of a downpayment?
I want to protect us both, and am in the financial position to swing doing the downpayment and the mortgage in my own name (this won't be easy, but I can probably do it), but he is not comfortable living with me and not paying his share when we have always done everything 50/50. I would much rather pay for the whole house and have him just live with me expense-free and not risk losing the asset later should he need longer term care, but I also recognize that he wants to pay his share. (He has a pension and is in the position to pay his own way, but if things get bad down the road, he will need those funds to pay for care)
My question is twofold:
1. Am I best to simply buy the house-- and pay for all of it myself, and perhaps have him pay rent in order to contribute? I want to protect us both, and I absolutely do not want to do anything that even has a hint of seeming fraudulent. This is completely uncharted territory for me and given all that is on my plate right now, I want to be sure that things are handled absolutely above board. I assume that we will each get funds back from the sale of our current home, though the plan is to put it on the market after we have purchased a new home. Therefore, any funds that would come from the sale would come after the new house closes.
2. Am I correct in assuming that we are best to remain unmarried? We have been engaged for close to five years, so this is not a new thing) Our finances have always been separate (apart from the joint account through which we pay our current household expenses) and I was told by several folks that we are probably smartest to not take the step to make things legal -- they indicated that this would be the best way for us both to protect ourselves and our individual finances.
Thanks for any guidance that you might have. Things are so scary right now, but I very much want to do the right thing for everyone involved, while also understanding the realities that our future likely holds.
