Modification

[bwmack71]

Missouri -

I have a joint custody and support order from 2012. My exwife and I have legal joint custody. My job required me to travel extensively from 2015 until February of this year. For most of that time I paid my ex (directly, not through the state -- I know, stupid) $700/month more than the order required to compensate for my time on the road. In February I started a new job that allows me to be home. My 19-yr-old daughter moved in with my wife and me immediately. My 16-yr-old son has gone back and forth a bit, but has been with us for the past month. I've expressed to him that I would like for him to live with us full-time, due to the fact that his mother has some mental health issues (including prescription drug abuse), and he sleeps on the couch there (no bedroom or bed). He hasn't made a definitive statement yet about his desire, other than to avoid going to his mom's. Yesterday I received a registered letter from the DFS informing me that my ex has filed for a modification which would increase my support to her by $250/month. I called and informed them that I wish to dispute this given the fact that one child is living with me 100% and the other has for a month. She said I would need to prove this. What can I do to prove it?

 

[adjusterjack]

Yesterday I received a registered letter from the DFS informing me that my ex has filed for a modification

Filed what?
Filed where?

Have you been served a copy of the "filing"?

Is it in court?
Is there a case number?
A summons?
Part of your divorce case?

Seems to me that only courts can modify child support and custody.

By the way, phone calls and wishes don't cut it. You'll have to either respond in court or petition the court.

I think you need to check further on what's going on.

And consult a lawyer while you are at.

 

[bwmack71]

I'm aware I need to do more than just a phone call. The letter indicated I have 30 days to respond by phone or mail, so I immediately called to let them know I plan to dispute it and find out what steps I would need to take.

The Family Support Division is proposing to petition the circuit court for a modification. This is at the request of my ex.

There won't be a summons unless I request and am granted a hearing. The lady at FSD told me the fact that my kids are living with me now is a major factor, and if I sent her proof she would see about stopping the petition. I plugged some numbers into the Form 14, and I think I now want to not stop the petition, but rather have it adjusted to show the facts as they are, which would end up reversing the child support and have my ex paying me.

 

[Zigner]

What proof do you have that kiddo is living with you on a permanent basis (as opposed to simply over the Summer)? Examples of proof can include doctor's records showing an address at your place, school enrollment documents showing your address, state identification showing your address, etc.

 

[bwmack71]

What proof do you have that kiddo is living with you on a permanent basis (as opposed to simply over the Summer)? Examples of proof can include doctor's records showing an address at your place, school enrollment documents showing your address, state identification showing your address, etc.

Well...the point of my post was to ask what kinds of things can be used as proof. So, thanks for the suggestions.

 

[LdiJ]

Well...the point of my post was to ask what kinds of things can be used as proof. So, thanks for the suggestions.

What you really need to do is modify custody for your son to you having primary physical custody, assuming that its what your son wants and will be in the best interest of the child. He probably will not want that if it would require him to change high schools. Most 16 year olds are not going to want to be separated from their friends.

Your 19 year old is no longer subject to custody orders...and probably not child support orders either unless she has not graduated from high school yet.

 

[bwmack71]

What you really need to do is modify custody for your son to you having primary physical custody, assuming that its what your son wants and will be in the best interest of the child. He probably will not want that if it would require him to change high schools. Most 16 year olds are not going to want to be separated from their friends.

Your 19 year old is no longer subject to custody orders...and probably not child support orders either unless she has not graduated from high school yet.

I suspect you may not be an expert, because to be honest you’re giving advice that is of no use. My 19 yr old is subject to child support until age 21 as long as she is enrolled in college (which she is). For my son, I know that I would have to petition the court for a change of custody and show cause, that isn’t even what I asked about.

 

[Just Blue]

I suspect you may not be an expert, because to be honest you’re giving advice that is of no use. My 19 yr old is subject to child support until age 21 as long as she is enrolled in college (which she is). For my son, I know that I would have to petition the court for a change of custody and show cause, that isn’t even what I asked about.

You are right. LD is a tax professional. There is a Family Law Attorney that posts here I will ask her to advise you.

 

[LdiJ]

I suspect you may not be an expert, because to be honest you’re giving advice that is of no use. My 19 yr old is subject to child support until age 21 as long as she is enrolled in college (which she is). For my son, I know that I would have to petition the court for a change of custody and show cause, that isn’t even what I asked about.

If you want to stop child support without problems you need to change physical custody of your son. Otherwise, it will be difficult to prove that he is living primarily with you. Plus, its not his choice to defy court orders, therefore his mother can enforce her physical custody time making the issue moot unless the custody orders are modified. In fact, you can be held in contempt and fined for not sending your son to his mother's home for her custody time.

As far as your daughter is concerned, while child support to age 21 if the child is in college is possible, its not automatic and normally must be agreed upon by the parents. It will be easier for you to get child support stopped for you for her, but no guarantee that you will be able to get it started up for mom to pay for her.

You really need a consult with a local attorney regarding these matters. You seem to have a fundamental lack of understand as to how they work, which is not at all unusual as it appears that you have not had a particularly litigious custody/child support situation.

 

[stealth2]

I suspect you may not be an expert, because to be honest you’re giving advice that is of no use. My 19 yr old is subject to child support until age 21 as long as she is enrolled in college (which she is). For my son, I know that I would have to petition the court for a change of custody and show cause, that isn’t even what I asked about.

Your ex is well within her rights to file for a modification. If you don't understand why, I suggest you consult with an attorney.

 

[stealth2]

You are right. LD is a tax professional. There is a Family Law Attorney that posts here I will ask her to advise you.

And, of course, the majority of us here are not legal experts. I think OP needs to be sent along his way to a local attorney who will charge him for his attitude.

 

[bwmack71]

I don’t recall suggesting she doesn’t have the right to request a modification.

 

[LdiJ]

I don’t recall suggesting she doesn’t have the right to request a modification.

No, you merely got snippy with a volunteer who was giving you relevant advice, even though you clearly did not understand what is or isn't relevant to your situation. Nobody gets paid here to give you advice. We are all volunteers.

 

[stealth2]

Well mack-daddy, living with you for a month doesn't mean squat - there is no status quo there (Google is your friend). As for the 19yo - what is her *legal* address? Does she use yours on her license/insurance, on her school transcripts, medical forms? Is she compliant with providing her transcripts (and to which of you)? All of that will be helpful.

But I still think you should go pay a lawyer who can deal with your attitude. We're not paid enough for that.

 

[bwmack71]

Free=worthless. I’m out