Failure to file

[stealth2]

If that is a concern, Can I say that I will move there, wherever the child is placed in order to avoid further changes. This is one of the reasons I didn't commit to buying a house, to find out where child goes to school

Problem is, the judge will rule on the actual situation. You can say you'll move, but that's not enforceable. You would be better served, IMO, by researching how often children end up in schools other than their "home" school and how many are actually relocated to their "home" school - and within what sort of time period. Perhaps how easily children adapt (especially in younger grades) to changes in schools. Kids really are adaptable - mine went to three different elementaries (well, two for the youngest) by 4th grade.

What could be the salient arguments in favor of public school? Can I not just say that school district is charged with the public good and it should be assumed to be acting in accordance with it's mandate. Then mom should prove somehow public schools have failed?

First off - what is the timeshare between you and Mom? What is the distance between the two of you? Are you both within the same school district? Same "home" school?

 

[LdiJ]

If that is a concern, Can I say that I will move there, wherever the child is placed in order to avoid further changes. This is one of the reasons I didn't commit to buying a house, to find out where child goes to school

What could be the salient arguments in favor of public school? Can I not just say that school district is charged with the public good and it should be assumed to be acting in accordance with it's mandate. Then mom should prove somehow public schools have failed?

What is your problem with private school if you don't have to pay for it?

 

[mandelbrot007]

First off - what is the timeshare between you and Mom? What is the distance between the two of you? Are you both within the same school district? Same "home" school?

Time share is 50/50. We see the child every 2 days and then we alternate weekends Friday PM to Monday AM. We both live in the same unified school district 15 minutes apart but different school zones

 

[stealth2]

Time share is 50/50. We see the child every 2 days and then we alternate weekends Friday PM to Monday AM. We both live in the same unified school district 15 minutes apart but different school zones

Okay. Why should yours be the address of record in terms of schooling? Do either of you live in the marital home? And please answer LDi's question.

ETA: Prior to your split, what were your (as a couple) general thoughts regarding schooling?

 

[not2cleverRed]

If that is a concern, Can I say that I will move there, wherever the child is placed in order to avoid further changes. This is one of the reasons I didn't commit to buying a house, to find out where child goes to school

What could be the salient arguments in favor of public school? Can I not just say that school district is charged with the public good and it should be assumed to be acting in accordance with it's mandate. Then mom should prove somehow public schools have failed?

A better/more effective argument should be what are the deficiencies in the private school, as you perceive them, compared to your local public schools.

Believe me, if I won the lottery tomorrow, my child would not be in any of my local private schools for a variety of pedagogical reasons.

 

[stealth2]

A better/more effective argument should be what are the deficiencies in the private school, as you perceive them, compared to your local public schools.

Believe me, if I won the lottery tomorrow, my child would not be in any of my local private schools for a variety of pedagogical reasons.

When we lived in SoCal, there was no way either of ours would NOT be going to private school.

 

[mandelbrot007]

Okay. Why should yours be the address of record in terms of schooling? Do either of you live in the marital home? And please answer LDi's question.

ETA: Prior to your split, what were your (as a couple) general thoughts regarding schooling?

We split when child was 18 mo, so we had not thought much about school. But we have been in the same town and same school. district We were in school zone A when we were together, now I live in zone B she lives in zone C. We did want to settle in the same town because almost all schools were on par and good and wanted to buy a home cause of the very reason. So never had an idea of sending child to private school when we were together. Most of them we knew commonly were sending their children to private school. I was surprised when she floated the idea of private school. BTW ex is remarried now

Here is the response to LDI's question:

I strongly believe in public school because of it's philosophy - equal opportunities regardless of race, religion and ability. Children grow up learning doing things independently developing critical thinking and life skills etc . There's always been criticism but public schools have consistently done the job of preparing children to make this nation a success.

There is a glaring similarity between this private school and the ones I have seen in my home country growing up. I see children of 1st grade, 2nd grade walking to school with school bags bigger than them! Its more of cramming, memorizing and preparing the children for tests to achieve high scores as it is indirectly tied to business.

The private school my ex wants has 85% of children of parents of Country of my origin who strongly believe in such schools and rest 15% Asian. It doesn't even feel like school in America. There is absolutely no diversity and children belonging to different economic backgrounds. All mom and pops working in the tech companies. As I came to this country as an adult, I struggle to assimilate. I do not want our child to struggle as an adult in-spite of growing up here. Public school provides some hope. Also in a divorce situation, Private school may not treat both parents equal shutting one parent out from involvement at school, so there are nuances that come with divorce due to which private school is not an option.

These are my personal feelings which I am not sure will work in court

 

[LdiJ]

We split when child was 18 mo, so we had not thought much about school. But we have been in the same town and same school. district We were in school zone A when we were together, now I live in zone B she lives in zone C. We did want to settle in the same town because almost all schools were on par and good and wanted to buy a home cause of the very reason. So never had an idea of sending child to private school when we were together. Most of them we knew commonly were sending their children to private school. I was surprised when she floated the idea of private school. BTW ex is remarried now

Here is the response to LDI's question:

I strongly believe in public school because of it's philosophy - equal opportunities regardless of race, religion and ability. Children grow up learning doing things independently developing critical thinking and life skills etc . There's always been criticism but public schools have consistently done the job of preparing children to make this nation a success.

There is a glaring similarity between this private school and the ones I have seen in my home country growing up. I see children of 1st grade, 2nd grade walking to school with school bags bigger than them! Its more of cramming, memorizing and preparing the children for tests to achieve high scores as it is indirectly tied to business.

The private school my ex wants has 85% of children of parents of Country of my origin who strongly believe in such schools and rest 15% Asian. It doesn't even feel like school in America. There is absolutely no diversity and children belonging to different economic backgrounds. All mom and pops working in the tech companies. As I came to this country as an adult, I struggle to assimilate. I do not want our child to struggle as an adult in-spite of growing up here. Public school provides some hope. Also in a divorce situation, Private school may not treat both parents equal shutting one parent out from involvement at school, so there are nuances that come with divorce due to which private school is not an option.

These are my personal feelings which I am not sure will work in court

Actually, that was a very well presented argument. If you explain it exactly that way to the judge you would have a better than decent chance of prevailing.

 

[mandelbrot007]

The hearing completed long time ago and I owe an update.

I lost on the school issue. Judge thought private school will provide more opportunities for our child to excel in future. So he said, as long as mother is prepared to pay for it, our child shall go to private school. If she cannot foot the bill, public school near to me seems to be better option of all the available public school choices. Too bad, now home school is so overloaded she will never get a chance to go there even ex agrees. Ex is so far paying the tuition and our child is currently attending private school.

My concerns were legit and he really listened to all I said but eventually ruled in her favor. I think I was swimming against the flow on this issue but I thought court being a public body would favor public schools, it's a shame.

We asked for sanctions and was denied which was expected. Ruling on financial issue which was sticking point for a long time in our divorce went in my favor

Thanks everyone for your responses

 

[Just Blue]

The hearing completed long time ago and I owe an update.

I lost on the school issue. Judge thought private school will provide more opportunities for our child to excel in future. So he said, as long as mother is prepared to pay for it, our child shall go to private school. If she cannot foot the bill, public school near to me seems to be better option of all the available public school choices. Too bad, now home school is so overloaded she will never get a chance to go there even ex agrees. Ex is so far paying the tuition and our child is currently attending private school.

My concerns were legit and he really listened to all I said but eventually ruled in her favor. I think I was swimming against the flow on this issue but I thought court being a public body would favor public schools, it's a shame.

We asked for sanctions and was denied which was expected. Ruling on financial issue which was sticking point for a long time in our divorce went in my favor

Thanks everyone for your responses

I'm sorry you didn't win on the education point. I thought your reasoning was very cogent and intelligently stated. Does your child like her school?

Thanks for the update...

 

[stealth2]

TY for the update. Regardless of the outcome, it's always nice to hear back. Does your daughter like her school?