Mother threatening to go back to court

[mmh223]

Illinois
My boyfriend has a court order that he gets his son every other weekend. The mother is wanting the child (6) signed up for classes at a gym but they are every single Saturday and she is expecting the dad to take him to each of these classes and says she can take him back to court to make it court ordered that the dad has to take him. Can she do that? We live almost an hr away from the town. Also his dad works every Saturday and I work most weekends and we don't have much help so there isn't someone else who could drive him to the class. Right now as it stands, dad is going to start missing out on time with the child over this.
Are we wrong for telling her she shouldn't sign him up for things when it's his scheduled time with his dad??? Dont get me wrong, we make it work for his t ball practices because its seasonal and wasn't every weekend but she stated that this every single Saturday class will be continuous until he doesn't want to do it anymore. I can tell he's really bothered by it because even though it's court ordered every other weekend he gets his son as much as he possibly can. Which up until recently was every single weekend

 

[adjusterjack]

and says she can take him back to court to make it court ordered that the dad has to take him. Can she do that?

Can she take him back to court? Sure.

Can she win that kind of change in visitation? No way to predict but my 2 cents says doubtful.

If I was Dad I would say, no, not gonna change anything, take me to court if you must and we'll see how it goes. (Not legal advice, just a personal opinion.)

 

[stealth2]

I agree with AJ, but… what is the child doing while Dad’s at work on Saturday? Perhaps Dad should look into modifying his parenting time for when he’s not working…

 

[mmh223]

He is with me while he works. And I'm in the process of getting ready for work and getting all the kids settled so as soon as he gets home I'm able to leave for work. If I'm off the weekend he is there we like to do things as a family. And like I've mentioned we live an hour away, dad is already driving that to pick up and take him back home on Sunday. He is limited on the time he gets with his son already he doesn't want to lose anymore. There is no modifying because his only day off is Sunday but that doesn't mean he can't spend the evening and night with him Friday night and all of Saturday after he gets off work.

 

[stealth2]

If Mom requests a modification to change Dad’s time to allow the child to remain with her until after Dad gets off on Saturday, it’s not impossible that the court would agree - since Dad’s not actually using that time.

 

[Zigner]

Are we wrong for telling her she shouldn't sign him up for things when it's his scheduled time with his dad???

If you are telling mom this, then yes, you are wrong. This is not something you are involved in, legally speaking. I understand that as a practical matter, you are "involved," but you should not be communicating with mom about this.

 

[LdiJ]

Illinois
My boyfriend has a court order that he gets his son every other weekend. The mother is wanting the child (6) signed up for classes at a gym but they are every single Saturday and she is expecting the dad to take him to each of these classes and says she can take him back to court to make it court ordered that the dad has to take him. Can she do that? We live almost an hr away from the town. Also his dad works every Saturday and I work most weekends and we don't have much help so there isn't someone else who could drive him to the class. Right now as it stands, dad is going to start missing out on time with the child over this.
Are we wrong for telling her she shouldn't sign him up for things when it's his scheduled time with his dad??? Dont get me wrong, we make it work for his t ball practices because its seasonal and wasn't every weekend but she stated that this every single Saturday class will be continuous until he doesn't want to do it anymore. I can tell he's really bothered by it because even though it's court ordered every other weekend he gets his son as much as he possibly can. Which up until recently was every single weekend

The possibility exists that a judge could feel that an extra curricular activity was important enough that he would order dad to take the child no matter what. However, with a 1 hour distance between homes it is not very likely that mom would prevail on that issue. She does not, at this time, have the legal right to make any kind of plans for the child on dad's time, and dad has no legal obligation to follow through on any plans that she makes that interfears with dad's time. Dad should absolutely not agree to miss any time with the child at all over this, and if mom attempts to withhold the child from him then he needs to make it clear that he will file to have the judge hold her in contempt for not honoring the court orders.

 

[mmh223]

I meant "we" as him and I both agree but I do not communicate with the mom. I have never had a single conversation with her.

 

[LdiJ]

If Mom requests a modification to change Dad’s time to allow the child to remain with her until after Dad gets off on Saturday, it’s not impossible that the court would agree - since Dad’s not actually using that time.

Should dad file for a modification if mom works during the week and therefore isn't actually utilizing her time either on the days she works? Dad wouldn't just be losing Saturday during the day he would also be losing Friday evening also in that scenario. Both parents are entitled to custody time on work days in my opinion.

 

[zddoodah]

My boyfriend has a court order that he gets his son every other weekend. The mother is wanting the child (6) signed up for classes at a gym but they are every single Saturday and she is expecting the dad to take him to each of these classes and says she can take him back to court to make it court ordered that the dad has to take him. Can she do that?

She can file something with the court asking that the court modify the order. Did you really think that might not be true? Of course, it's impossible for anyone here to opine intelligently about the likelihood of the court granting such a modification request.

his dad works every Saturday and I work most weekends

Who takes care of the kid on the weekends when your BF has visitation and the two of you are at work? If your BF is at work, then why can't mom pick up the kid and take him to the activity?

We live almost an hr away from the town.

That's not very far.

we make it work for his t ball practices because its seasonal and wasn't every weekend but she stated that this every single Saturday class will be continuous until he doesn't want to do it anymore.

If your BF thinks that, as the kid ages, he won't get involved with activities that happen every weekend, he's crazy. Your BF and his ex are going to need to sit down like adults and figure out how to make things work.

I'm in the process of getting ready for work and getting all the kids settled

"All the kids"?

 

[stealth2]

Should dad file for a modification if mom works during the week and therefore isn't actually utilizing her time either on the days she works? Dad wouldn't just be losing Saturday during the day he would also be losing Friday evening also in that scenario. Both parents are entitled to custody time on work days in my opinion.

Not saying it *would* happen, but it could. The court could also order that Dad allow Mom to pick up/return the child at such times on Saturday so as to allow kiddo to participate in the activity.

 

[commentator]

Keep in mind that the child is 6 years old. That is, in my opinion, a very early age to die on the hill of he/she needs to go to this class at the gym every weekend "till they get tired of it." This doesn't sound like mom thinks there's a professional career budding here. This sounds more like a, "I'll do what I please with this child!"threat from her.

Six year olds get tired of things such as T-ball, karate, soccer or gymnastics VERY quickly. Maybe they will turn out to have a real passion for doing this. But maybe they will decide not like this after just one or two classes. Mom would be sorta stupid to spend the time and money to go back to court over something the child may want to do like, maybe twice, and then decide to do no more. Has the child been to any of these classes yet? Is this turning out to be something that is worth fighting over, or even working something out over a few times, or is it just a hypothetical at this point?

 

[LdiJ]

Not saying it *would* happen, but it could. The court could also order that Dad allow Mom to pick up/return the child at such times on Saturday so as to allow kiddo to participate in the activity.

Yes, that is certainly possible.

 

[stealth2]

Most places have “trial” sessions (6 weeks?), which I found a perfect option at that age. I did expect them to follow through for the duration, but no longer unless they wanted.

 

[Litigator22]

Illinois
My boyfriend has a court order that he gets his son every other weekend. The mother is wanting the child (6) signed up for classes at a gym but they are every single Saturday and she is expecting the dad to take him to each of these classes and says she can take him back to court to make it court ordered that the dad has to take him. Can she do that? We live almost an hr away from the town. Also his dad works every Saturday and I work most weekends and we don't have much help so there isn't someone else who could drive him to the class. Right now as it stands, dad is going to start missing out on time with the child over this.
Are we wrong for telling her she shouldn't sign him up for things when it's his scheduled time with his dad??? Dont get me wrong, we make it work for his t ball practices because its seasonal and wasn't every weekend but she stated that this every single Saturday class will be continuous until he doesn't want to do it anymore. I can tell he's really bothered by it because even though it's court ordered every other weekend he gets his son as much as he possibly can. Which up until recently was every single weekend

I have one comment:

PLEASE DO NOT BE MISLED to think that the mother is free to seek modification of the current court order at her pleasure!

With some exceptions not applicable here, the law in Illinois is such that "no motion to modify and order allocating parents responsibilities may be filed earlier than two years after its date". *

[*] Section 610.5 (a) Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act