family_feud
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona
Mom lived and died in AZ, will administered in AZ, I am a resident of NY
Hello everyone,
I hope I'm posting in the right forum.
TLDR: 1. my (estate admin.) brother refuses to communicate with me regarding the proceeds of the sale of our mother's house and the disposition of other assets.
2. There has been a period of silence between us: 4 years
3. Three beneficiaries, brothers one AZ resident, one CA resident, and me NY resident.
4. I'm fear that AZ brother/executor is attempting to outright steal my share of the proceeds due to a long period of non-communication and statute of limitations.
Hello,
I'm hoping someone out there might be able to offer me a kernel of hope with a situation that I really wish I didn't have to be dealing with.
Almost 10 years ago my mom died after about a year of illness after a botched surgery left her with very limited lung capacity. I moved from New York to Arizona to take care of her for that year because she couldn't live by herself anymore. I'm very glad that I had that time with her and I miss her every day.
I have two older brothers, one lives a couple hours away from her then- in the Phoenix area and the eldest lives in San Diego.
For the most part, they left the care of mom to me and I had medical power of attorney signed over to me so that I could make decisions about her care.
Towards the end of her life the middle brother campaigned heavily to be granted legal power of attorney. The eldest brother (who was named in the will as executor) had been pretty tuned out of the whole situation and had really only bothered to visit maybe twice during her illness and didn't want the job. I didn't feel qualified or up to it, and since the middle brother had a finance background it seemed logical to let him handle that aspect of things.
None of us were in a rush to deal with the estate. We held several garage sales. Since it was 2009 the housing market was pretty bad so we figured we'd wait before listing it. We discussed possibly renting it out but the AZ based brother/executor figured he'd end up having to be the landlord and wasn't thrilled with that idea. Things went on this way for a few years. I traveled back and forth between NYC and AZ a few times to take part in the garage sales and I also spent some time cataloging and boxing up a lot of the posessions that were left. Mom and Dad spent their retirement restoring and collecting antiques, re-selling some but a lot was still piled up in Mom's house, so there was a lot to catalog. All of that stuff is now in his house and several storage units.
Around 2014 the eldest brother in San Diego had some business/tax issues and needed some $$. The other brother let me know what was going on and also indicated that we were getting to the end of the house-maintenace budget and it was probably time to start moving on with things. He mentioned that he had considered loaning it him the money but wasn't exactly liquid enough at that point and didn't want to pull from his investments to do it. I didn't have it either and so we agreed to move ahead with liquidating the remainder of the estate.
Here's where things started to head off the rails. During that same conversation he mentioned that he had already contacted a couple of local women that someone in mom's neighborhood had recommended that ran a company that handled estate sales. He said they seemed nice and that he figured that might be a good way to handle getting rid of some of the larger items like furniture some of the other stuff that hadn't moved during the garage sales. I said that it all sounded fine to me and as we ended the call I asked him to keep me up to date with how things were proceeding.
Well he didn't keep me up to date. Probably two or three weeks went by and I handn't heard anything. I decided to email him for an update. Since I was in NY, I wanted some lead time so I could get airline tickets taken care of so that I could come out and be a part of the process. I received an email back from him. One line: "I sold everything for $10".
Ha Ha, very funny.
I know now that I was very stupid and should have asked for details. Instead I assumed that his flip response was short hand for "we really haven't had time to get moving on this and nothing much has happened yet". Boy was I wrong.
Some time later (I think it may have been a week maybe) I got an email: "Hey the train's leaving the station -- the estate sellers are here and they're putting tags on everything and I need to know what of mom's kitchen stuff you don't want sold!"
I was furious. They had basically gone behind my back and made it impossible for me to fly out in time to be a part of the estate sale. I felt very betrayed. I shot back with a very angry email and said I didn't want ANY of her kitchen stuff sold and I also wanted photos of everything that had been tagged for sale and also requested an accounting of everything that did sell. Silence.
I contacted the the neighbor that recommended the estate seller company and got their number. Over the proceeding days/weeks I called them and left many, many messages -- No call was ever returned. They had obviously been instructed to ignore me.
Things devolved from there. It's an unfortunate family trait that when an offense has been committed, the silent treatment and heaps of obstinance usually result. I know now that I should have been the bigger man and calmly confronted them about their actions, but I was and continue to be, rocketing mad about this. The thought of interacting with them makes my blood boil. So I went silent. Another stupid move, of course.
Some time later I received email letting me know that the house had been put on the market and that they figured it only only right that if I had an interest in purchasing it that I should have the opportunity to buy them out. I didn't reply.
Sometime after that I received a certified letter stating that the house had sold and that I was entitled to my share of the proceeds and that "since he had heard me speak of possibly moving, he didn't know where to send it to and that I should contact him so he would know where to send it and the accounting of the estate." I signed the return receipt and left it at that. Again, stupid.
I have lived in the same apartment for going on 25 years. I guess I figure that my signature on that certified letter was as good as contacting him and saying: "I'm here, send it here please".
So four years have passed since that letter, and I'm still extremely angry and I think don't I'll be un-angry any time soon. I know, stupid and immature, but that's just how I am.
So here we are in 2018. I sent him an email recently. I replied to one he sent to me four years ago that roughly coincided with the certified letter. I said: "please contact me regarding this"
His reply:
"you're responding to an email I sent four years ago."
My reply:
"please send me a cheque for my share of the proceeds from the sale of the house and the estate sale -- immediately."
"please send me a full accounting of the sale of the house and an accounting of the sold and un-sold assets -- as soon as possible."
These aren't boiled down -- that was the actual exchange.
So it's been two weeks. Nothing in my mailbox. Nothing in my email inbox.
Throughout the past few months I've tried to do some research about fiduciary responsibility and estates and what estate administrators are required to do. I've also tried, not very successfully, to find out how statutes of limitations would be applied to a case like this.
Here is what I've come across so far:
Fiduciary:
1. The fiduciary has a responsibility to report to the heirs annually on the disposition of the estate.
-- never done, not even when we were on speaking terms.
2. The fiduciary has a right to reasonable compensation for the performance of his/her duties but not to self-deal or in any way enrich themselves at the expense of the beneficiaries.
-- I feel that 1/3 of the estate proceeds doesn't really constitute "reasonable compensation"
3. The fiduciary has the responsibility to ensure that the will is followed to the letter and to do everything in their power to make sure that each heir receives their share of the estate.
-- I guess this is where he's hoping to find some wiggle-room. Stating in the letter that he wasn't sure where I might be living. And then taking my "non-response" as permission to plunder the rest of the estate. I mean, c'mon you're the fiduciary. You don't get to behave like a child no matter that everyone else is.
4. Bringing a case against the executor requires that all the heirs bring the case and the best outcome is that a new executor is appointed.
-- Not much use at this stage. If I were to lawyer-up I would want to sue for breach of fiduciary responsiblility, recover my share of the estate and possibly damages, but I'm afraid I probably have no chance of doing this due to all the time that has passed.
Statute of limitiations:
1. Seems like it is 2 years for many things. Which kind of boggles my mind.
2. There seems to be some gray areas when applying it to probate. I believe I read somewhere that in some cases it can be extended to six and a half years and that the clock doesn't start ticking until the final accounting of the estate has been presented to all heirs. I'm hoping that this is the case as I have never been presented with an accounting of ANYTHING EVER.
So. Am I screwed?
I'm close to picking up a phone and calling an estate lawyer in AZ. I have a sinking feeling I'll get laughed off the line, so I figured I'd post here and let you all have a shot first.
If you've read this far, thank you for taking the time.
Rob
Mom lived and died in AZ, will administered in AZ, I am a resident of NY
Hello everyone,
I hope I'm posting in the right forum.
TLDR: 1. my (estate admin.) brother refuses to communicate with me regarding the proceeds of the sale of our mother's house and the disposition of other assets.
2. There has been a period of silence between us: 4 years
3. Three beneficiaries, brothers one AZ resident, one CA resident, and me NY resident.
4. I'm fear that AZ brother/executor is attempting to outright steal my share of the proceeds due to a long period of non-communication and statute of limitations.
Hello,
I'm hoping someone out there might be able to offer me a kernel of hope with a situation that I really wish I didn't have to be dealing with.
Almost 10 years ago my mom died after about a year of illness after a botched surgery left her with very limited lung capacity. I moved from New York to Arizona to take care of her for that year because she couldn't live by herself anymore. I'm very glad that I had that time with her and I miss her every day.
I have two older brothers, one lives a couple hours away from her then- in the Phoenix area and the eldest lives in San Diego.
For the most part, they left the care of mom to me and I had medical power of attorney signed over to me so that I could make decisions about her care.
Towards the end of her life the middle brother campaigned heavily to be granted legal power of attorney. The eldest brother (who was named in the will as executor) had been pretty tuned out of the whole situation and had really only bothered to visit maybe twice during her illness and didn't want the job. I didn't feel qualified or up to it, and since the middle brother had a finance background it seemed logical to let him handle that aspect of things.
None of us were in a rush to deal with the estate. We held several garage sales. Since it was 2009 the housing market was pretty bad so we figured we'd wait before listing it. We discussed possibly renting it out but the AZ based brother/executor figured he'd end up having to be the landlord and wasn't thrilled with that idea. Things went on this way for a few years. I traveled back and forth between NYC and AZ a few times to take part in the garage sales and I also spent some time cataloging and boxing up a lot of the posessions that were left. Mom and Dad spent their retirement restoring and collecting antiques, re-selling some but a lot was still piled up in Mom's house, so there was a lot to catalog. All of that stuff is now in his house and several storage units.
Around 2014 the eldest brother in San Diego had some business/tax issues and needed some $$. The other brother let me know what was going on and also indicated that we were getting to the end of the house-maintenace budget and it was probably time to start moving on with things. He mentioned that he had considered loaning it him the money but wasn't exactly liquid enough at that point and didn't want to pull from his investments to do it. I didn't have it either and so we agreed to move ahead with liquidating the remainder of the estate.
Here's where things started to head off the rails. During that same conversation he mentioned that he had already contacted a couple of local women that someone in mom's neighborhood had recommended that ran a company that handled estate sales. He said they seemed nice and that he figured that might be a good way to handle getting rid of some of the larger items like furniture some of the other stuff that hadn't moved during the garage sales. I said that it all sounded fine to me and as we ended the call I asked him to keep me up to date with how things were proceeding.
Well he didn't keep me up to date. Probably two or three weeks went by and I handn't heard anything. I decided to email him for an update. Since I was in NY, I wanted some lead time so I could get airline tickets taken care of so that I could come out and be a part of the process. I received an email back from him. One line: "I sold everything for $10".
Ha Ha, very funny.
I know now that I was very stupid and should have asked for details. Instead I assumed that his flip response was short hand for "we really haven't had time to get moving on this and nothing much has happened yet". Boy was I wrong.
Some time later (I think it may have been a week maybe) I got an email: "Hey the train's leaving the station -- the estate sellers are here and they're putting tags on everything and I need to know what of mom's kitchen stuff you don't want sold!"
I was furious. They had basically gone behind my back and made it impossible for me to fly out in time to be a part of the estate sale. I felt very betrayed. I shot back with a very angry email and said I didn't want ANY of her kitchen stuff sold and I also wanted photos of everything that had been tagged for sale and also requested an accounting of everything that did sell. Silence.
I contacted the the neighbor that recommended the estate seller company and got their number. Over the proceeding days/weeks I called them and left many, many messages -- No call was ever returned. They had obviously been instructed to ignore me.
Things devolved from there. It's an unfortunate family trait that when an offense has been committed, the silent treatment and heaps of obstinance usually result. I know now that I should have been the bigger man and calmly confronted them about their actions, but I was and continue to be, rocketing mad about this. The thought of interacting with them makes my blood boil. So I went silent. Another stupid move, of course.
Some time later I received email letting me know that the house had been put on the market and that they figured it only only right that if I had an interest in purchasing it that I should have the opportunity to buy them out. I didn't reply.
Sometime after that I received a certified letter stating that the house had sold and that I was entitled to my share of the proceeds and that "since he had heard me speak of possibly moving, he didn't know where to send it to and that I should contact him so he would know where to send it and the accounting of the estate." I signed the return receipt and left it at that. Again, stupid.
I have lived in the same apartment for going on 25 years. I guess I figure that my signature on that certified letter was as good as contacting him and saying: "I'm here, send it here please".
So four years have passed since that letter, and I'm still extremely angry and I think don't I'll be un-angry any time soon. I know, stupid and immature, but that's just how I am.
So here we are in 2018. I sent him an email recently. I replied to one he sent to me four years ago that roughly coincided with the certified letter. I said: "please contact me regarding this"
His reply:
"you're responding to an email I sent four years ago."
My reply:
"please send me a cheque for my share of the proceeds from the sale of the house and the estate sale -- immediately."
"please send me a full accounting of the sale of the house and an accounting of the sold and un-sold assets -- as soon as possible."
These aren't boiled down -- that was the actual exchange.
So it's been two weeks. Nothing in my mailbox. Nothing in my email inbox.
Throughout the past few months I've tried to do some research about fiduciary responsibility and estates and what estate administrators are required to do. I've also tried, not very successfully, to find out how statutes of limitations would be applied to a case like this.
Here is what I've come across so far:
Fiduciary:
1. The fiduciary has a responsibility to report to the heirs annually on the disposition of the estate.
-- never done, not even when we were on speaking terms.
2. The fiduciary has a right to reasonable compensation for the performance of his/her duties but not to self-deal or in any way enrich themselves at the expense of the beneficiaries.
-- I feel that 1/3 of the estate proceeds doesn't really constitute "reasonable compensation"
3. The fiduciary has the responsibility to ensure that the will is followed to the letter and to do everything in their power to make sure that each heir receives their share of the estate.
-- I guess this is where he's hoping to find some wiggle-room. Stating in the letter that he wasn't sure where I might be living. And then taking my "non-response" as permission to plunder the rest of the estate. I mean, c'mon you're the fiduciary. You don't get to behave like a child no matter that everyone else is.
4. Bringing a case against the executor requires that all the heirs bring the case and the best outcome is that a new executor is appointed.
-- Not much use at this stage. If I were to lawyer-up I would want to sue for breach of fiduciary responsiblility, recover my share of the estate and possibly damages, but I'm afraid I probably have no chance of doing this due to all the time that has passed.
Statute of limitiations:
1. Seems like it is 2 years for many things. Which kind of boggles my mind.
2. There seems to be some gray areas when applying it to probate. I believe I read somewhere that in some cases it can be extended to six and a half years and that the clock doesn't start ticking until the final accounting of the estate has been presented to all heirs. I'm hoping that this is the case as I have never been presented with an accounting of ANYTHING EVER.
So. Am I screwed?
I'm close to picking up a phone and calling an estate lawyer in AZ. I have a sinking feeling I'll get laughed off the line, so I figured I'd post here and let you all have a shot first.
If you've read this far, thank you for taking the time.
Rob