The first attorney I spoke with did explain why legally, email is preferred over text. She did say I had a good reason for preferring text and could probably get the order amended to allow that. the FamilyWizard app is a good suggestion, thank you.
I'm not trying to control it, I just wish to limit my contact with her as much as humanly possible. She has never had one nice thing to say about my child in 7 years, and then mistreated and abused him in their home. My son was so petrified of her when he got home, he wouldn't even talk to his dad at Christmas because he was afraid she'd get on the phone. This whole 3 years of arguing between me and my ex is solely about her being excluded from visits with my son. She has no real desire to have a relationship with him.
Last week was FINALLY eventful after feeling like I was hitting a brick wall.
Spoke with someone at the prosecutor's office, she was helpful and said she gave me more info than they usually give out but she understood I was very frustrated and knew the distance was a problem.
She emailed me a copy of the original plea agreement they sent me back in May. I was able to speak with an attorney (who was probably one of the cheapest quotes I'd received) and she explained the plea agreement to me. She actually told me that most likely, even with an attorney representing me, that was probably the best option I was going to get. I would plead guilty to one charge, that would be a misdemeanor with the DV tag. If I paid the fine and did the anger management class, the other 3 charges would be dropped.
I expressed my concern to her about the one charge affecting future employment. In some instances, I may need to apply for a substitute teaching license. She suggested I request an actual diversion program (my plea offer was not a diversion offer) which would mean at the end of the program, ALL the charges would be dropped. So I submitted my request to the prosecuting attorney's office, still pending an answer to that request.
Part of the plea agreement included a stipulation that I have no contact with my ex or his wife. so in my request, I asked that it be modified to include the stipulation that neither of THEM have uninitiated contact with ME as well, either directly or via a 3rd party (the wife often has another person harass me).
I've also submitted a request to the court that originally issued the court orders to have them dismissed. I know someone here mentioned that they may not dismiss the Order of Protection filed by my ex because of the violations, but the attorney told me the validity of the orders is separate than the violations. So I can call into question whether or not the orders had merit regardless of the charges. She thinks I have a valid case for having both orders dismissed.
thanks to all who offered help, and at least pointed me in the right direction on who to contact and such.