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pictureparadise

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? FL

Divorced in July 2004. Shared parental custody of a 3 year old. I reluctantly signed a mediated order that he attend the same school he was in for 6 months, even though I had moved 45 minutes away back to where we formally lived the previous year. I am a K-1 teacher for a private school. I teach 6 children. Across the hall is a pre-k class which consists of 5 children. Since Jan. 1, my son goes to my school. I see him all day and have wonderful educational experiences, etc. My ex is furious and does not want him at my school at all. He has filed a supplemental petition against the final judgement that he attend only the school where he resides. The 6 months was awful. I had to hire someone (2 people) to pick him up, drive him 45 minutes to the other school and in the afternoon (I get off at 2:30) it took me 2 hours to get him and get home. (I live 8 minutes from my school). I have spent $15,000 since July on a $27,000 salary to constantly fight back. I'm now broke. We are supposed to have mediation in 2 weeks and my attorney now has written me letting me know she can no longer represent me because I haven't paid my last bill ($1300). I sent her $100 of what I could. NOt only that, she thinks it will be a lengthy case and doesn;t have the time. My ex is a doctor that made close to 1/2 million last year. He since has gone part time and now makes $182,000 so that he doesn't have to pay as much child support. He is fighting to lower my child support even more, and for me to pay his attorney fees. He's offered to pick him up from my house and return him everyday to the other school, and offered to pay for it. My school is free for him. He has filed for sole parenting in his education/day care. Do you think he could have justification for this? WOuld a judge actually listen to this? He made me to be out as a martar in the petition. It was 5 pages of lies.He is relentless in breaking me so that I give up my son. I can't seem to find any legal advice nor anyone that can help me....it's all about the buck. Could I represent myself?
Also, I have a 16 year old daughter that my ex helped me raise since she was 4. He has not spoken to her since the divorce. Not even a happy birthday on her 16th birthday. Could this be used to show his character?
He's had myself and my daughter followed by investigators for 2 months. It was awful. I filed a domestic violence report, but it got thrown out on the basis that he wasn't physically hurting me. How can I get a bitter ex husband to stop this insanity? What can I do so I don't lose everything I have? Please someone help me. I'm at a point of desperation.
 
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nextwife

Senior Member
Hon, are you saying you can't make it on the CS of an almost $200,000 ANNUAL salary? Plus your income?
 
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pictureparadise

Junior Member
Child Support

My issue isn't so much the child support. And no, I can't. It was $1800/mo, reduced to $1200/mo and he is trying to cut that in 1/2. At $1900 take home pay, and $1200/mo child support it's not sufficient. My mortgage is 1255/mo. Anyway, my issue is that he can afford it but won't, but more is the school problem and having to constantly fight ridiculous BS costing me money that could be going to my kids.
 
stealth2

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
The problem I see is that you signed a shared parenting agreement less than a year ago, yet you moved 45 minutes away - making that shared parenting agreement difficult to effect. Why should Dad be - in effect - punished for your decision? He's offering to do the transport, which is more than he needs to do. I wouldn't hold my breath on winning this one, hon.
 
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casa

Senior Member
pictureparadise said:
What is the name of your state? FL

Divorced in July 2004. Shared parental custody of a 3 year old. I reluctantly signed a mediated order that he attend the same school he was in for 6 months, even though I had moved 45 minutes away back to where we formally lived the previous year. I am a K-1 teacher for a private school. I teach 6 children. Across the hall is a pre-k class which consists of 5 children. Since Jan. 1, my son goes to my school. I see him all day and have wonderful educational experiences, etc. My ex is furious and does not want him at my school at all. He has filed a supplemental petition against the final judgement that he attend only the school where he resides. The 6 months was awful. I had to hire someone (2 people) to pick him up, drive him 45 minutes to the other school and in the afternoon (I get off at 2:30) it took me 2 hours to get him and get home. (I live 8 minutes from my school). I have spent $15,000 since July on a $27,000 salary to constantly fight back. I'm now broke. We are supposed to have mediation in 2 weeks and my attorney now has written me letting me know she can no longer represent me because I haven't paid my last bill ($1300). I sent her $100 of what I could. NOt only that, she thinks it will be a lengthy case and doesn;t have the time. My ex is a doctor that made close to 1/2 million last year. He since has gone part time and now makes $182,000 so that he doesn't have to pay as much child support. He is fighting to lower my child support even more, and for me to pay his attorney fees. He's offered to pick him up from my house and return him everyday to the other school, and offered to pay for it. My school is free for him. He has filed for sole parenting in his education/day care. Do you think he could have justification for this? WOuld a judge actually listen to this? He made me to be out as a martar in the petition. It was 5 pages of lies.He is relentless in breaking me so that I give up my son. I can't seem to find any legal advice nor anyone that can help me....it's all about the buck. Could I represent myself?
Also, I have a 16 year old daughter that my ex helped me raise since she was 4. He has not spoken to her since the divorce. Not even a happy birthday on her 16th birthday. Could this be used to show his character?
He's had myself and my daughter followed by investigators for 2 months. It was awful. I filed a domestic violence report, but it got thrown out on the basis that he wasn't physically hurting me. How can I get a bitter ex husband to stop this insanity? What can I do so I don't lose everything I have? Please someone help me. I'm at a point of desperation.
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The problem is that you signed the agreement in court documents. Your attorney knows this is going to be what will make it lengthy to fight- maybe she did you a favor by not allowing you to get into more debt.

It's nearly impossible to get someone to stop being crazy. (Trust me on this one! :rolleyes: ) What you CAN do is report to the police everytime you think you are being followed and file charges for stalking, surveilling etc. Not exactly the same as Domestic Violence. But unless or until a judge allows that order of protection- it's legal for your X to hire investigators to follow you.

Instead of going into debt hiring someone to transport your child to and fro- allow the X to pay for transportation as he's offered.

It's nice for you to have your son in your school- but it's not necessary, he'll do fine in any school as long as both you and your X support him academically.
 
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pictureparadise

Junior Member
moved

I moved back to a town where we came from. We lived in his town for 1 year. I moved back for my 16 year old sake, told by a child psychologist to do. He works across the street from my school in my town.
 
C

casa

Senior Member
pictureparadise said:
I moved back to a town where we came from. We lived in his town for 1 year. I moved back for my 16 year old sake, told by a child psychologist to do. He works across the street from my school in my town.
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You can certainly argue that it's not inconvenient for him to agree to the child going to your school based on his employer being across the street- but there can be hitches there too, ie; if he does not get off work when the child gets out of school and then where is the child??

The most important thing here is that you AGREED to the arrangement and it was made part of the court order -therefore you must abide by it unless or until a judge changes it again.
 
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pictureparadise

Junior Member
Not true

The order ended in Dec. The order states that. I have custody of my son M, T, and W till 5. He has him Thur and Fri and alternating weekends. So since I have him M, T, and W why should he not attend my school? Rather than a school 45 minutes away? That's 1 1/2 driving for him a day. I work at the school, right across the hall. I live 8 minutes away. He could pick him up from my home when he got off work. He only works till 2 anyway. I work till 2:30.
 
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casa

Senior Member
pictureparadise said:
The order ended in Dec. The order states that. I have custody of my son M, T, and W till 5. He has him Thur and Fri and alternating weekends. So since I have him M, T, and W why should he not attend my school? Rather than a school 45 minutes away? That's 1 1/2 driving for him a day. I work at the school, right across the hall. I live 8 minutes away. He could pick him up from my home when he got off work. He only works till 2 anyway. I work till 2:30.
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Ok, now your story includes the fact that the order ended in December?? What does the order say is to happen after December? In fact, what does your order say EXACTLY?

First you said you agreed in court to the arrangement and asked if he could file against you in court if you weren't following it. The answer to that is YES.
You say that it costs you x amount of dollars to transport according to the order, then you say the father is willing to pay for transportation (therefore eliminating that complaint).
Now you say the order 'ended' in December 2004.

What answers you receive will depend on what the order actually says. And if it 'ended' in December, what should it revert to now (according to the court).

Also the distance the child is commuting was created by YOUR actions- because you moved. Even though a child psychologist stated it was in your 16 yr old's best interest to move, you didn't file in court to address the change of town/distance~ therefore you are still under the order which addresses the town you lived in when the court order was issued. In other words, you created the additional distance- not the father. The fact that he is willing to pay for transportation over a distance you created, is generous IMO.
 
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pictureparadise

Junior Member
explain again

Ok. Let me try again. In July 2004 we went to mediation to address everything. We agreed that our son would stay in the same school for 6 months...ending in December. Then we would mediate again if we can't come to an agreement. For 6 months it was awful for my son. No consistency, too much driving...etc. We went to counseling discussing it. I moved for 2 reasons. My daughter and a job. I am a teacher. My ex works across the street from my school. It makes sense. It doesn't make sense for a child to have to get picked up, drive 45 minutes to and from to attend a school, when I also live 8 minutes away. What about safety? Anyway. I wish I could give you the whole picture. My question is if it's possible to represent myself.
 
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casa

Senior Member
pictureparadise said:
Ok. Let me try again. In July 2004 we went to mediation to address everything. We agreed that our son would stay in the same school for 6 months...ending in December. Then we would mediate again if we can't come to an agreement. For 6 months it was awful for my son. No consistency, too much driving...etc. We went to counseling discussing it. I moved for 2 reasons. My daughter and a job. I am a teacher. My ex works across the street from my school. It makes sense. It doesn't make sense for a child to have to get picked up, drive 45 minutes to and from to attend a school, when I also live 8 minutes away. What about safety? Anyway. I wish I could give you the whole picture. My question is if it's possible to represent myself.
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Yes it's possible to represent yourself.

The order says go to mediation again if problems occur, have you both asked the court for another mediation appointment or hired a private mediator? And what did the counselor say when you discussed it in session?
 
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pictureparadise

Junior Member
reply

The parent coordinator allowed me to take my son to my school as of Jan. 1 because the order ended. My ex was present. Does a judge look bad on someone representing themselves? How long do I have to reply to his petition? A mediation session is set in 2 weeks at my attorney's office, except now my attorney has withdrawn. Will it be postponed?
 
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casa

Senior Member
pictureparadise said:
The parent coordinator allowed me to take my son to my school as of Jan. 1 because the order ended. My ex was present. Does a judge look bad on someone representing themselves? How long do I have to reply to his petition? A mediation session is set in 2 weeks at my attorney's office, except now my attorney has withdrawn. Will it be postponed?
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:rolleyes: If the parent coordinator allowed you to take your son to school as of Jan. 1, then that changes the whole shebang. *sigh* This is information you should have included in your first post.

A judge doesn't necessarily look badly upon someone representing themselves, but it's irritating for them because it makes their job more difficult. If your X has an attorny- it's really UNwise to not have one yourself. Have you already received his petition?? There should be a date for hearing on it, if so. You can check the county court's website to distinguish when the deadline is for any responsive declarations. Typically its at least several court days prior to the hearing that any documents need to be filed.

Since the mediation is now cancelled- You can either ask the court at the hearing to schedule mediation for you (If your court offers that service) based on the parent coordinator's input and the fact that the previous order directed you to mediate if you could not agree. If the court does not provide that service, then you should make an appointment with a private mediator. Make sure you have the parent coordinators input in writing for both filing in court and/or mediation. If you are unable to schedule mediation prior to a date you are to appear in court, make the appointment- take the parent coordinators letter/affidavit (all filed beforehand) to the hearing and advise the judge you've scheduled mediation as you were instructed in your previous court order. The judge will either make a recommendation at the time, or order you to both attend mediation and then come back at a later date.
 
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pictureparadise

Junior Member
Parent Coordinator

Okay. I've talked to the Parent Coordinator and she is refusing to write a letter. She doesn't want to "get involved".
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
Personally, I think that the child going to your school is such a sensible decision (you are there and dad works across the street) that dad and dad's attorney would have a difficult time justifying the child being in another school unless the other school was seriously better than yours.

However, I do believe that you need your attorney. I realize that money is tight, but he is also trying for a serious reduction in child support and that could be a serious issue for you. Its possible that your attorney could get the judge to order that he pay YOUR legal fees, because of the disparity in incomes.
 
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