Question about Court Appointed Conciliator and weight of there recommendation

What is the name of your state? AZ

Hi everyone, I have a question based upon you all's experience. We were instructed by our judge to see a court appointed conciliator to evaluate our current custody and visitation arrangements for possible modification, once that person met with us they were to make a recommendation to the judge. The conciliator came back with recommendations for the judge based upon our three hour meeting with her and her separate "alone" hour meeting with our son.

My question is......................how important are the court appointed conciliators recommendation? Do you guys thing the judges really rely on them heavily?

ResponsibleOne said:

What is the name of your state? AZ

Hi everyone, I have a question based upon you all's experience. We were instructed by our judge to see a court appointed conciliator to evaluate our current custody and visitation arrangements for possible modification, once that person met with us they were to make a recommendation to the judge. The conciliator came back with recommendations for the judge based upon our three hour meeting with her and her separate "alone" hour meeting with our son.

My question is......................how important are the court appointed conciliators recommendation? Do you guys thing the judges really rely on them heavily?

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Of course the court rely on their recommendations that why they appoint them. You are not in agreement with the recommodations because it takes away from what you are comfortable with, that is understandable but at the same time it is the best interest of the child, not which parent scores the most points. Under ideal conditions parenting is shared whether the family is intact or not. At different times in the child's develomental life they identify with or need one parent more than another. The court recognizes that modificaitons to custody and visitation become necessary to maintain the best interest of the child.

I read your other thread that is the basis of your question here, you really should have just posted this additional question there. Ldij had a good suggestion but there are several other possibilities as well along the same lines. It sounds like what you ex wants is what is called first right of refusal, which only works when you live close enough together to make it work. He is now living close enough to make that work compounded with the fact that he works at home. You son deserves the opportunity to develop a relationship with his father, especially if your son is having behavioral problems which are typical for the age.

I understand, how socialization is also important, but at the same time, limited distractions and structure and consistancy can help with the ADHD. Both parents have to have the same rules. You said Summer Camp, not Daycamp and daycare. What I suggest you propose is the following as a TRIAL summer visitaiton schedule: The child be allowed to go away to summer camp if it is an away camp, this impacts both parent's time equally. If it is a day camp then your son be allowed to to go to day camp and you ex provide what would be the day care time. Then during the school year the day care time on a daily basis but if the summer is not successful then just the Mon and Fri reccommended by the concilliator. You could also add into this mix other enrichment activities

If your son has ADHD, is he on medication, does he have an IEP? Does the school offer summer school programs that would interest your child or help him keep up with his school work, this also provides for consistancy. At you child's age, they start becomming resistant to daycare.

Hi RMET4NZKX
The cociliators recommendation was in my favor and basically held firm to most of the things that I had asked for.

The X and his attorney are trying to get the recommendation thrown out. That was my reason for asking, I just wanted to know how it played out in the scope of things and what you all's experiences were in situations where you had a conciliators recommendation. So no, my previous post was not the basis of my question, and I am comfortable with the recommendation, I was just wondering how it worked. Sorry

As far as my other post was concerned, I listened to the feedback that was given and a lot of it made sense to me and I am rethinking situation and trying to compromise and do what is right, that is all I can do right?

I just thought this would be a good place to post some of my questions to get others input, others that have delt with this much longer than me. In the future I will probably continue doing that (probably until the next court date at least But I will not re-post a question by phrasing it differnetly until I get an answer I like, I just take what was said and think/process it. Mull it over and see if I can see the points that others have made.

Yes my son is on a IEP, no he is not on medication. Yes he is enrolled in the summer school program to do just what you stated. His resource teachers are involved and they also stated that he has to continue to work on his social issues.

Objections, anyone?

As rmet stated, in AZ the conciliator's recommendation will be VERY strongly considered by the court.

The conciliators have broad experience in "sifting" the issues that were discussed in your meeting. They have heard stories similar to yours dozens if not hundreds of times.

It's not uncommon for a party to make an objection/s to certain specific items detailed in the recommendation. The court will review those objections and make it's ruling. If there are no objections, the court will base it's ruling on the recommendation.

Throw the recommendation out? On what basis? One party was intoxicated? The conciliator was an ex-girlfriend? Otherwise, not gonna happen.

HI
Thanks for the feedback it was really good and helpful. The reason they are trying to get the recommendation thrown out is because the X is stating that the Conciliator made a "Mistake" when she wrote the report and that she did not intend to recommend that he have visitation from after school until 7pm, he is stating that the conciliator meant to say he had our son overnight on these nights. So he and his attorney are trying to contact the conciliator to get her to write a revision of the original report/recommendation that she wrote.

And what would be the problem at least during the summer?