I'm 25 weeks pregnant......

What is the name of your state? Florida... I have lived in florida most of my life. I have a 7 year old daughter from a previous marriage and I am 25 weeks pregnant with a man that lived in georgia. He has 3 kids and one is extremley disabled. I moved up there in September after finding out I was pregnant, I just moved back home to florida because he hit me! The cops were called and what not.. but my question is, is that he is saying that he was video taping me the entire time I was there and saying that my "discipline" to my daughter (from previous marriage) was abuse! I do not feel that I was abusing my child in any way. He also stated that he wanted to keep this out of court and I feel that he is trying to threaten me and/or scare me into falling for what he is saying. The baby isn't even born yet and he is expecting to have this child 6 months out of the year! I live in Florida and he lives in Georgia! Is this possible?? Can you get my child for 6 months? Is he allowed to video tape me if I don't know about it? He said that what i did was child abuse, and I strongly feel that discipline is discipline.. I know that I DID NOT abuse my child!
His family also has alot of money and will do what ever he needs to do to try to take this baby away from me. Please help

Just because you believe that discipline is discipline doesn't mean that it isn't also abuse. Apperently what ever you did might be considered abuse or you wouldn't be scared.

What did you do to your child?

I've grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to her room, smacked her butt, and I RARELY ever do that!

scared319 said:

I've grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to her room

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You ARE joking, right????????

No! I don't feel that I am doing anything wrong! My parents have done worst then that when I was growing up.. I got the damn belt and put over my dads knee. I have NEVER used my fist on my daughter. I was just a little concerned about the "abuse" from what he was saying because these days ANYTHING can be considered abuse depending on how people view it!

Nowadays you can smack your child or yell at them and be investigated.

Is that abuse??

scared319 said:

No! I don't feel that I am doing anything wrong! My parents have done worst then that when I was growing up.. I got the damn belt and put over my dads knee. I have NEVER used my fist on my daughter. I was just a little concerned about the "abuse" from what he was saying because these days ANYTHING can be considered abuse depending on how people view it!

Nowadays you can smack your child or yell at them and be investigated.

Is that abuse??

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Physically harming your child as well as verbally harming them IS abuse. So, just because you got spanked as a kid, you feel the need to continue the bad behaviour by hitting YOUR kids?
If my kid's other parent grabbed the child by it's hair and dragged him/her to it's room, hell yeah, I would have a major problem with that parent, and he'd regret ever even touching the kid.

Have you even tried to communicate with your kid without physically hurting her? How about some parenting classes, so you can learn other ways to discipline your kid. Do you want them to grow up thinking it's ok for parents to "beat" their kids? Do you realise that your kids will probably do the same to THEIR kids and maybe even worse?

Be a grown up and stop the vicious circle of unnecessary violence in the home right now.

scared319 said:

No! I don't feel that I am doing anything wrong! My parents have done worst then that when I was growing up.. I got the damn belt and put over my dads knee. I have NEVER used my fist on my daughter. I was just a little concerned about the "abuse" from what he was saying because these days ANYTHING can be considered abuse depending on how people view it!

Nowadays you can smack your child or yell at them and be investigated.

Is that abuse??

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Lets put it this way... if someone MUCH BIGGER than you dragged YOU to your room by your hair and smacked your butt.. would YOU consider it 'deserved' or 'abuse' ???

I find it extremely nteresting that you left your boyfriend because he 'hit' you .. and for having done so you called the police, and yet you dont consider what YOU did 'abuse'.

Carrie

Well...I don't buy this story...I think you are a "troll".

However...on of off chance that you aren't.

1) The odds that he actually taped anything are slim to none.

2) The odds of a judge ordering a 6 month off 6 month on schedule for any child is slim to none, and virtually none for an infant. There couldn't possibly be a WORSE schedule for an infant or toddler.

3) Get yourself a consult with a local attorney. Get yourself a course in anger management if you really did grab your 7 year old by the hair and drag her to her room.

If you do have a history of abusing your child as you have described the father of your unborn child has an excellent chance of getting custody especially if his family has money, you child is old enough to be a witness to your abuse without the video tape and you can lose custody of the child.

scared319 said:

I've grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to her room, smacked her butt, and I RARELY ever do that!

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Yep....abuse! ("rarely" or not)

Damn.....If anyone else did this to your child you would would be here asking if you could sue them.....

Well...I don't buy this story...I think you are a "troll".

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My first thought was that too. We have had a lot of bogus and drama filled threads lately.

scared319 No! I don't feel that I am doing anything wrong! My parents have done worst then that when I was growing up.. I got the damn belt and put over my dads knee. I have NEVER used my fist on my daughter

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Well congratulations!...You have just graduated to being a total fricken ******* **************...If you haven't been the guest of CPS...Please let them know I referred you!

Please get counseling, and get your kid some counseling also. Poor kid!

And as far as what 'your parents did'...Times have changed. Time to grow up!

scared319 said:

I've grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to her room, smacked her butt, and I RARELY ever do that!

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Jaysus. My kids told me their Dad did that to their stepsib, and I made it clear to both him AND his wife that if I ever heard of anything similar happening to our OR her kids, I'd be calling the authorities to look into it.

That IS abusive, hon, even if you don't think so. There are better ways to discipline than that. Maybe a parenting class would be in order. How old are you, anyway?

After I thought about this for a while...I did think of one possible scenario where it might not be abusive. I remembered seeing someone do this once and no one in the room considered it abusive. (It was at a family reunion)

The child was completely out of control and the parent could not physically restrain the child. The parent grabbed the child by the arm, AND the hair (pony tail wise) which caused the child to freeze. The parent then walked the child to their room.

Of course, that's a whole lot different than dragging the kid to their room by the hair.....that paints a totally different picture. However, maybe this mom isn't painting an accurate picture either.

Dunno, LDi.... Mom is painting a picture of her own actions - that would indicate that they're pretty accurate. If I did as you described - that's the picture I would paint. I wouldn't say that I dragged the kid by her hair. Mom needs some help - which she'd be well advised before she finds herself on the losing end of a custody fight.

LdiJ said:

After I thought about this for a while...I did think of one possible scenario where it might not be abusive. I remembered seeing someone do this once and no one in the room considered it abusive. (It was at a family reunion)

The child was completely out of control and the parent could not physically restrain the child. The parent grabbed the child by the arm, AND the hair (pony tail wise) which caused the child to freeze. The parent then walked the child to their room.

Of course, that's a whole lot different than dragging the kid to their room by the hair.....that paints a totally different picture. However, maybe this mom isn't painting an accurate picture either.

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Well those are the facts that OP gave and thought it wasn't abusive so it is moot what another person might have done, what OP described is abusive and is more likely than not less than what happened. Please be objective and base your response upon the facts.

It appears that OP is of the belief that by making a preemptive claim of domestic violence against the putative father that she will previal in any subsequent case, she won't. Custody of both her children is at risk.

rmet4nzkx said:

Well those are the facts that OP gave and thought it wasn't abusive so it is moot what another person might have done, what OP described is abusive and is more likely than not less than what happened. Please be objective and base your response upon the facts.

It appears that OP is of the belief that by making a preemptive claim of domestic violence against the putative father that she will previal in any subsequent case, she won't. Custody of both her children is at risk.

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I was trying to be objective....I was trying to point out that someone stating that they dragged their child to their room by the hair, might connotate a different picture than we were imagining.

If you will remember...my initial reaction to that was no different than anyone else's.