Sibling visistation and Mothers rights

What is the name of your state? Virginia

My sister lost custody of her 2 children over 4 years ago. I took custody of my niece and her half brother went to the custody of his father. His father is the reason that my sister lost custody in the first place through a string of lies. Ever since he got custody he has tried to terminate my sisters rights and cancel all visitation. She has 2 weekends a month and 2 weeks in the summer for visistation. Now that the biological father and custodial parent has moved about an hour or so away he went to court yesterday and said that my nephew "david" is terrified of having any visitation with my sister which is a lie. He has a history of lying to the court. "David" who is only 8 years old burst into tears when his father told him to lie to my sister that he was sick and didn't want to go on the weekend with her. When he admitted to lying he said his Dad told him to do it. But that will not hold up in court.

Anyway the point of that was that now that he moved he would only agree to 1 weekend a month and 1 week in the summer the moderator was unable to get him to agree to 2 or 3 weeks which I find rediculous. My sister has never done anything to hurt "david". Is there anything she can do since the moderater has never worked in her favor? She has zero money for a lawyer.

Second part is that I have custody of my niece for well over 4 years now. My sister does not have any visitation rights to Jenny but I do allow her to see Jenny on occasion. She does not get any private visitation at all. In fact I have a court order preventing it when I got custody to begin with. I want to know what right I have to that Jenny can see her brother on a semi regular basis since I do not feel that the limited schedule he has with his mom right now is appropriate for Jenny to form a bond with her older brother. Jenny is now 6.

I am not trying to sound like a devious evil B---H but I do feel that Jenny needs to have a bond with her only brother. My sister can not have any more kids and I want Jenny to know she has a brother. She loves her brother very much and I can't see seperating them as an option that is being selfishly pursued by her half brothers father.

your post makes no sense what so ever. You are fighting for your sister's right to have 2-3WEEKS with her son. (who is in his father's custody) and then go on to say that she has no visitation rights to see her daughter (in your custody) that you allow her to see this child "on occasion" and only when supervised. What is the difference between her seeing her son, or seeing her daughter? What is really going on here?

its up to dad wether or not to allow jenny to see her brother

stuckinlamad said:

What is the name of your state? Virginia

My sister lost custody of her 2 children over 4 years ago. I took custody of my niece and her half brother went to the custody of his father. His father is the reason that my sister lost custody in the first place through a string of lies. Ever since he got custody he has tried to terminate my sisters rights and cancel all visitation. She has 2 weekends a month and 2 weeks in the summer for visistation. Now that the biological father and custodial parent has moved about an hour or so away he went to court yesterday and said that my nephew "david" is terrified of having any visitation with my sister which is a lie. He has a history of lying to the court. "David" who is only 8 years old burst into tears when his father told him to lie to my sister that he was sick and didn't want to go on the weekend with her. When he admitted to lying he said his Dad told him to do it. But that will not hold up in court.

Anyway the point of that was that now that he moved he would only agree to 1 weekend a month and 1 week in the summer the moderator was unable to get him to agree to 2 or 3 weeks which I find rediculous. My sister has never done anything to hurt "david". Is there anything she can do since the moderater has never worked in her favor? She has zero money for a lawyer.

Second part is that I have custody of my niece for well over 4 years now. My sister does not have any visitation rights to Jenny but I do allow her to see Jenny on occasion. She does not get any private visitation at all. In fact I have a court order preventing it when I got custody to begin with. I want to know what right I have to that Jenny can see her brother on a semi regular basis since I do not feel that the limited schedule he has with his mom right now is appropriate for Jenny to form a bond with her older brother. Jenny is now 6.

I am not trying to sound like a devious evil B---H but I do feel that Jenny needs to have a bond with her only brother. My sister can not have any more kids and I want Jenny to know she has a brother. She loves her brother very much and I can't see seperating them as an option that is being selfishly pursued by her half brothers father.

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im sorry, but jenny really has no rights to visitation here. its up to dad wether or not to allow her to see her brother, if he wont allow it, theres nothing you can do but wait till the child turns 18, then dad wont have any say in who his son associates with.

let me explain: I wasn't given custody directly. I was given custody once it was determined the my sisters husband at the time was not the father of either child which he already knew but his parents took custody of Jenny as I was not in the same state. On the last custody case the people who had custody asked the judge to only grant supervised visitation with Jenny which the judge then ordered. I did not ask for supervised visitation. i was living in the state of maine and the time. Then I moved to Italy with the courts knowledge. I have only been back in the USA for 8 1/2 months. In that time and during the time that I have had custody my sister has never petitioned for visitation rights. She sees Jenny when she picks up "david" and never any other time and that is her choice not mine. She does not support Jenny in any way financially and is continues to refer to me as Aunt rather than Mom even though Jenny has been calling me mom for 2 years. I did not allow it at first but on a doctors recommendation I did.

The father of "david" keeps going to court to minimize my sisters visitation. Because all of us now live in VA but in different cities I want her to have visistaion with her son so that Jenny can have visitation with her brother.

degenerationx said:

im sorry, but jenny really has no rights to visitation here. its up to dad wether or not to allow her to see her brother, if he wont allow it, theres nothing you can do but wait till the child turns 18, then dad wont have any say in who his son associates with.

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hey kelly, I heard someone on expert law needs your help.

fairisfair said:

hey kelly, I heard someone on expert law needs your help.

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AAAAAKKKKKKK NO don't send here there again! it's bad enough over there without her

stuckinlamad said:

let me explain: I wasn't given custody directly. I was given custody once it was determined the my sisters husband at the time was not the father of either child which he already knew but his parents took custody of Jenny as I was not in the same state. On the last custody case the people who had custody asked the judge to only grant supervised visitation with Jenny which the judge then ordered. I did not ask for supervised visitation. i was living in the state of maine and the time. Then I moved to Italy with the courts knowledge. I have only been back in the USA for 8 1/2 months. In that time and during the time that I have had custody my sister has never petitioned for visitation rights. She sees Jenny when she picks up "david" and never any other time and that is her choice not mine. She does not support Jenny in any way financially and is continues to refer to me as Aunt rather than Mom even though Jenny has been calling me mom for 2 years. I did not allow it at first but on a doctors recommendation I did.

The father of "david" keeps going to court to minimize my sisters visitation. Because all of us now live in VA but in different cities I want her to have visistaion with her son so that Jenny can have visitation with her brother.

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So your motivation is really the visitation with Jenny and her brother.

Why were visitations with Mom supervised? Can you see your way to the fact that Dad of brother may have the same issues and concerns that the original custodian of Jenny had?? Is Mom a fit and responsible parent. Why has she never petitioned for visitation rights?

Many posters here will have a different opinion regarding Jenny calling you mom. That must be very confusing for her. Since she has a mom. Maybe adding your first name would help mom and Jenny deal with the fact that you are in that role. You know like "mommy Carol" or whatever your name is. that way mom would be mom.

Other than that, Mom is the only one who can make the moves necessary to obtain visitation with her son so that he and Jenny can see each other. That is of course, barring your ability to reason with the boy's father.

sorry...eme said:

AAAAAKKKKKKK NO don't send here there again! it's bad enough over there without her

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eme, what are you doing over there?? come home where you belong.

I think your only option is to make nice with David's daddy...maybe see if he is willing to meet you and Jenny at the park or another nutral place...maybeif Dad knows you are only wanting the children to be happy and know eachother he might be more willing

fairisfair said:

eme, what are you doing over there?? come home where you belong.

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Only playing....well reading A LOT...knowlage is power and when it comes to family law(in CA especialy) there is always more to learn. And for my daughter's sake I need to know all I can.

sorry for the delay in posting my reply to your answers but tropical storm ernesto hit us hard. The reason we can't meet at a nuetral location is that the father is unwilling to make any accomodations. The only real problem is my nephews father hates my sister. For the first year of my nephews life they kept delaying the paternity test and the courts here are swamped. When it finally was done he was ordered to pay child support. That is when the lies started. The only thing wrong with my sister is she is dyslexic and bipolar. She is not an unfit mother but she doesn't have any money and she has done things in her past because of it. She is now on medication for her bipolar disorder. But the father of David just hates my sister for forcing him to pay child support. He was cought in several lies: my sister was annonomously turned in for doing drugs.... nope never on drugs but that happened multiple times.

the simple version of why the kids were taken away: David was 2 1/2 ish and Jenny was 18 months old. She had just gone to this apartment because the father of David had gone to her other appartment and told the landlord that my sister was a WH--E and would do bad thing with the landlords teenage sons. Landlord kicked her out. So she went to stay with friends as she was trying to make it on her own and it was only a few days before Xmas and she had to wait for an apartment to open up. Now someone once again called the police and said the place she was staying was an abandoned building used for crack dealers and pimps. Completely untrued. My sister was taking a nap with her kids when the police arrived. David was working on Potty training so he was wearing a shirt and a diaper. And had woken up a few minutes before my sister. He answered the door when the police rang the bell. The reason and the ONLY reason the kids were taken away was because one of the other people who lived there had a friend over that had brought his bong with him. Yes I do realize that my sister shouldn't have been in that situation with her kids. Everyone there said my sister had nothing to do with it and she was drug tested repeatedly and every time was negative. Unfortunatly the damage had been done. The kids were taken away based on her being in an unsuitable location for the children. I am not excusing her but I felt that I should add the explaination.

I am not a drama queen this whole mess I would rather not have to deal with. But that is just the way life is for some people. The father of David knew that he would have to pay back his arrers in the thousands and keep his payment up and he didn't want to so he lied over and over again to the police till the kids were taken away. By the way I should add that the father of David who is almost 30 still was and still is living with his mommy paying no rent. He had the money he didn't want to pay it. He is now moving and trying to terminate my sisters rights. He doesn't care if Jenny sees her brother or not.