What is the name of your state? NC
Pardon me if this is not the right section to post in, but my situation is a convoluted mess all around ...
My ex husband and I split when my daughter was less than a year old under very violent circumstances. I was awarded full custody and a year later he took me to court for visitation and was denied outright visitation, instead the court left it to my discretion. I allowed him to see her a couple of times then he flaked out and stopped showing up when he told her he was. He dropped out of our lives for 9 years. Four years ago I remarried and a few months later my daughter approached my husband and me and requested that her name be changed to my husband's. We discussed this with her at length and I located my ex to discuss it with him. He agreed and signed the papers without ever asking to see her.
A few months ago he suddenly petitioned the court for visitation again and was awarded dinner twice a month. She is 15 now and after one "trial dinner" she told the judge she has no wish to see him. The judge basically said that my daughter has been brainwashed and ordered the visits to continue. She told my daughter that if she failed to comply with her visits that I will be held in contempt. Her visits have not gone well at all. She becomes an emotional wreck when he does call to make arrangements to see her and is thrilled when he doesn't call or when he cancels on her. I've even started taking her to a therapist under the advisement of a counselor after her grades took a nosedive and she began having crying outbursts and ripping her fingernails off past the point of bleeding. There have been occasions when he doesn't call to see her. There was an occasion when he called and told her he could not afford to see her. The last time he failed to call to arrange to see her she made other plans and refused to break them when he called the night he was supposed to see her and wanted to make last minute plans. He started yelling at her telling her it was her responsibility to call him to make arrangements when he didn't call her. The call upset her badly and the next day I called him to discuss it. He told me that he wanted to terminate his rights to her. I told him I'd talk to her about it and get back to him. I discussed it with my husband who has always been ready and willing to adopt her, and to my daughter who was ecstatic. I told my ex and he said to get it going. I hired an attorney, paid the attorney, and he drew up the papers. I called my ex who said he'd meet me that night to look at them and sign them in front of a notary (legal in this state).
When he met us that night he asked my daughter if this is what she really wants. She told him that it is. He then said he wanted an attorney to look over the papers and that he would not sign them at that time. He told her that he didn't want to do this because of the money but that his children (he has 3 by current wife) are going without because my daughter needed braces. She told him she didn't care, that she just wanted him to sign the papers. That was 2 weeks ago. He called me 2 days later to say his attorney advised him against signing the papers because his child support won't terminate till the waiting period is over (90 days). He then hung up on me and would not answer my calls. The next day I called him from a different phone and asked him for his attorney's name and phone number so my attorney could contact him. He then told me that his attorney is in VA (we are in NC). I told him that this attorney can't really advise on matters of law in NC and he said for my attorney to call him. My attorney did and got nowhere.
Last Thur. my ex called for his dinner for Fri. night and my daughter told him that she refuses to see him because he won't sign the papers that he said he wanted. He told her he is going to take us back to court and she said Fine and hung up on him. She told me after she hung up that even if she had wanted to see him before, that after what he said to her about her braces she would not want anything to do with him anymore anyway. A friend and I finally talked her into going and from what I understand it didn't go well. My attorney called my ex earlier this week to again try to talk sense to him and ex told him that he has a paper for me to sign saying I absolve him of all child support as soon as he signs the termination papers. My attorney told ex to get him the paper and he'd research it to see if it is legal. Ex refuses. In the meantime, my daughter announces that she will not see him anymore, period.
I can't very well pick up a 15 yr old and force her in the vehicle to meet him for dinner. She even requested to be sent out of state to a school near my husband's parents over 2000 miles away so that she doesn't have to deal with her father.
Anyone have any suggestions?What is the name of your state?
Pardon me if this is not the right section to post in, but my situation is a convoluted mess all around ...
My ex husband and I split when my daughter was less than a year old under very violent circumstances. I was awarded full custody and a year later he took me to court for visitation and was denied outright visitation, instead the court left it to my discretion. I allowed him to see her a couple of times then he flaked out and stopped showing up when he told her he was. He dropped out of our lives for 9 years. Four years ago I remarried and a few months later my daughter approached my husband and me and requested that her name be changed to my husband's. We discussed this with her at length and I located my ex to discuss it with him. He agreed and signed the papers without ever asking to see her.
A few months ago he suddenly petitioned the court for visitation again and was awarded dinner twice a month. She is 15 now and after one "trial dinner" she told the judge she has no wish to see him. The judge basically said that my daughter has been brainwashed and ordered the visits to continue. She told my daughter that if she failed to comply with her visits that I will be held in contempt. Her visits have not gone well at all. She becomes an emotional wreck when he does call to make arrangements to see her and is thrilled when he doesn't call or when he cancels on her. I've even started taking her to a therapist under the advisement of a counselor after her grades took a nosedive and she began having crying outbursts and ripping her fingernails off past the point of bleeding. There have been occasions when he doesn't call to see her. There was an occasion when he called and told her he could not afford to see her. The last time he failed to call to arrange to see her she made other plans and refused to break them when he called the night he was supposed to see her and wanted to make last minute plans. He started yelling at her telling her it was her responsibility to call him to make arrangements when he didn't call her. The call upset her badly and the next day I called him to discuss it. He told me that he wanted to terminate his rights to her. I told him I'd talk to her about it and get back to him. I discussed it with my husband who has always been ready and willing to adopt her, and to my daughter who was ecstatic. I told my ex and he said to get it going. I hired an attorney, paid the attorney, and he drew up the papers. I called my ex who said he'd meet me that night to look at them and sign them in front of a notary (legal in this state).
When he met us that night he asked my daughter if this is what she really wants. She told him that it is. He then said he wanted an attorney to look over the papers and that he would not sign them at that time. He told her that he didn't want to do this because of the money but that his children (he has 3 by current wife) are going without because my daughter needed braces. She told him she didn't care, that she just wanted him to sign the papers. That was 2 weeks ago. He called me 2 days later to say his attorney advised him against signing the papers because his child support won't terminate till the waiting period is over (90 days). He then hung up on me and would not answer my calls. The next day I called him from a different phone and asked him for his attorney's name and phone number so my attorney could contact him. He then told me that his attorney is in VA (we are in NC). I told him that this attorney can't really advise on matters of law in NC and he said for my attorney to call him. My attorney did and got nowhere.
Last Thur. my ex called for his dinner for Fri. night and my daughter told him that she refuses to see him because he won't sign the papers that he said he wanted. He told her he is going to take us back to court and she said Fine and hung up on him. She told me after she hung up that even if she had wanted to see him before, that after what he said to her about her braces she would not want anything to do with him anymore anyway. A friend and I finally talked her into going and from what I understand it didn't go well. My attorney called my ex earlier this week to again try to talk sense to him and ex told him that he has a paper for me to sign saying I absolve him of all child support as soon as he signs the termination papers. My attorney told ex to get him the paper and he'd research it to see if it is legal. Ex refuses. In the meantime, my daughter announces that she will not see him anymore, period.
I can't very well pick up a 15 yr old and force her in the vehicle to meet him for dinner. She even requested to be sent out of state to a school near my husband's parents over 2000 miles away so that she doesn't have to deal with her father.
Anyone have any suggestions?What is the name of your state?
