Opinions on wording: is it contempt?

What is the name of your state? Michigan/Florida

Okay, there has NEVER been a long-distance exchange that hasn't had problems.

the court order states:

a. The parties share legal and physical custody of the two (2) minor children with physical custody of SweetPea (the one I have) to the Plaintiff (me) and physical custody of CollegeGal (older, now emancipated daughter) to Defendant (dad).

c. Each party have reasonable rights of parenting time with the minor child in the physical custody of the other party and that they alternate between Spring Break, Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays so that the two children would be together with one of the parties during each of the holiday seasons. The parties each spend one half of the summer vacations with both children. All other times where either party may be within the State of Florida or the State of Michigan parenting time will be arranged between the parties.

d. The Plaintiff be granted a change in domicile for the minor child G. to reside within the State of Florida and that no other change of domicile be allowed unless to return to the State of Michigan.

e. The parties share the cost of transportation for all parenting time purposes between the State of Florida and the State of Michigan.

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FOC states since my court order does NOT specify HOW the transportation is split, we are each responsible for the child coming to us.

Little history: in 2005, my X decided to drive down to 'vacation' here in Florida for the mid-summer exchange. I had purchased the ticket for the older child to come and visit. What happened was the X landed up flying the younger one on the older one's ticket and the older one was the lucky one in the car with Dad, GF and grandpa. I landed up picking up from Orlando (120 miles from home.) Older one did land up going back with the trio and I canceled her ticket. I protested to the FOC about the wrong child flying on the ticket I purchase. He was chastised for that. Now he is under the delusion that the child must fly in and out of the same airports. So if she goes from the one that is 90 miles from home, she must return to that same one.

Question number 1:
So, my dilemna. I purchased, in JUNE, Sweetpea's ticket to return home on Sunday (like yesterday) at the airport that is 35 miles from me. (School isn't till Tuesday, so I made a flight coming in at 10:30 at night.) HE purchased a round-trip ticket that has her flying in to the airport 90 miles from me. The plane is 1.5 hours delayed, so Sweetpea will land around 11:20 tonight, with a 1.5 hour trip home. And yes, she has school in the morning.

SO, he is returning her THIS time, but a day late by my books. Is this contempt?

It certainly isn't in the best interest of SweetPea such a late arrival. He's been in contempt (with time enjoying some bars) already. I'm toying between just NOT doing anything, other than having FOC send him a letter that he is delusional on his thinking or forcing a court hearing.

By his thinking, if he were to drive down in June, I would be forced to drive up there and drive her back mid-summer (he's actually stated that to me.) Or do I press it again, because I think that the only thing that may make him understand a court order is a stay in the slammer. I'm against that ONLY because he actually has a job now, and it would be nice for him to remain employed.

Question #2:
My order states that I can only DOMICILE in Michigan or Florida. There is nothing in ANY of the court orders that states that I can't vacation anywhere in the US. Now, part of his reasoning that he attempted to use against me this summer was that I was illegally taking HIS daughter to California; that I hadn't asked HIS permission to take her. Hey, it was my vacation time; all I had to say was I'm going from this date to this date and you can call me on my cell to get ahold of us.

dom·i·cile (dm-sl, -sl, dm-)
n.
1. A residence; a home.
2. One's legal residence.

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So, can I vacation anywhere (in the US)? Yes, I want to try California again. My son and grandbaby are out there and long overdue for a visit.

PS - I have an unused ticket that gets to be applied to a vacation

Question 1:
I don’t think he’s in contempt.

I do think he’s a boob that will get spanked by FOC and you’ll end up with more stringent wording in your court order about returns and most accessible airport…

He can do a leg of the trip his way. You should do your your way as far as the road trip is concerned.

Question 2: Of course you can vacation anywhere you want. Again, what a boob.

Bloopy said:

Question 1:
I don’t think he’s in contempt.

I do think he’s a boob that will get spanked by FOC and you’ll end up with more stringent wording in your court order about returns and most accessible airport…

He can do a leg of the trip his way. You should do your your way as far as the road trip is concerned.

Question 2: Of course you can vacation anywhere you want. Again, what a boob.

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The court order can only be opened up for more stringent wording ONLY if one of us opens it up. He's one of those folks that if you give an inch, he takes a mile. I don't know if I can JUST open up part B, for clarification on the transportation, without opening up the split of times for summer/holidays.

His thinking also is that since CollegeGal is no longer a party to the court order, that he is entitled to 100% of summer vacation (and yes, he means that) and EVERY holiday, etc. That is all tied into part B.

Can we say delusional?

Ginny J said:

The court order can only be opened up for more stringent wording ONLY if one of us opens it up. He's one of those folks that if you give an inch, he takes a mile. I don't know if I can JUST open up part B, for clarification on the transportation, without opening up the split of times for summer/holidays.

His thinking also is that since CollegeGal is no longer a party to the court order, that he is entitled to 100% of summer vacation (and yes, he means that) and EVERY holiday, etc. That is all tied into part B.

Can we say delusional?

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You can ask the Court's clarify &/or enforce the Court Order without asking to change summer/holidays~ or is your concern he'll use any Court action as a means TO try to change summer/holiday??

He won't get the entire summer OR every holiday ~ that's completely unreasonable. Both parents have a Right to have holiday time with the kid(s).

I'm a little distracted, but I don't think I saw anything that said he had to have the child back sooner than he's returning her so I don't see contempt.

As for vacationing somewhere other than where you are allowed to live per the CO, he's a dufus on that one. You are right.

casa said:

You can ask the Court's clarify &/or enforce the Court Order without asking to change summer/holidays~ or is your concern he'll use any Court action as a means TO try to change summer/holiday??

He won't get the entire summer OR every holiday ~ that's completely unreasonable. Both parents have a Right to have holiday time with the kid(s).

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It's the "he'll try to CHANGE the summer/holiday" schedule to something totally ludicrous.

The FOC stated to me this summer (while I had ample time on my hands) that summer vacation STOPS one week prior to the start of school. He feels that if he puts a child (who hasn't been home all summer) on a plane with 9 hours to spare before the start of school, that is just dandy.

I GAVE him an extra 30 days beyond what what the court order stated this past summer. The judge told him it was a gift. I just want some vacation time in the summer to go somewhere with my daughter and have time to do the school shopping, etc. Three weeks before school starting is fine with me.

I really don't want to open up the court order. I KNOW the man. He's gotten more delusional over the years. He certainly seemed reasonable 19 years ago. He certainly isn't these days.

wileybunch said:

I'm a little distracted, but I don't think I saw anything that said he had to have the child back sooner than he's returning her so I don't see contempt.

As for vacationing somewhere other than where you are allowed to live per the CO, he's a dufus on that one. You are right.

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I know ... but getting home at 12:30 in the morning, when she has to be up at 7:30 for school isn't REASONABLE. Technically, according to the airlines, unaccompanied minors aren't supposed to be on the last flight of the day. In the paperwork from the courts, we are supposed to follow the airline rules for unaccompanied minors.

You make me fear what I have to look forward in future years!

Ginny J said:

It's the "he'll try to CHANGE the summer/holiday" schedule to something totally ludicrous.

The FOC stated to me this summer (while I had ample time on my hands) that summer vacation STOPS one week prior to the start of school. He feels that if he puts a child (who hasn't been home all summer) on a plane with 9 hours to spare before the start of school, that is just dandy.

I GAVE him an extra 30 days beyond what what the court order stated this past summer. The judge told him it was a gift. I just want some vacation time in the summer to go somewhere with my daughter and have time to do the school shopping, etc. Three weeks before school starting is fine with me.

I really don't want to open up the court order. I KNOW the man. He's gotten more delusional over the years. He certainly seemed reasonable 19 years ago. He certainly isn't these days.

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He won't be successful in arguing that he is to get ALL holidays/vacations. And, it's your prerogative to take your child on a traveling vacation (as long as it doesn't interfere with his Court Ordered time).

I wouldn't worry about it. Tell him "No" and drop it. If he wants to waste time/money on this going to court...and he asks for ALL holiday/vacation time~ he'll be lucky if all he gets is a tongue lashing from the Judge.

Ginny J said:

I know ... but getting home at 12:30 in the morning, when she has to be up at 7:30 for school isn't REASONABLE. Technically, according to the airlines, unaccompanied minors aren't supposed to be on the last flight of the day. In the paperwork from the courts, we are supposed to follow the airline rules for unaccompanied minors.

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I agree it's not a good thing to do to get home so late (we always allow recovery time when gone on lengthy trips as it is) and *I* wouldn't do it, it's asking for trouble and for the travelers to be out of sorts and not on top of their game. But it is not contempt, IMO. I do think he's an @ss for doing that to his daughter, though.

wileybunch said:

I'm a little distracted, but I don't think I saw anything that said he had to have the child back sooner than he's returning her so I don't see contempt.

As for vacationing somewhere other than where you are allowed to live per the CO, he's a dufus on that one. You are right.

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Airport + 90 miles + 10:30pm ≠ CONTEMPT

Airport + 90 miles + 10:30pm + school night + Mom had return ticket 4 night before = Boob

I stand by my “legal” term for it

lyddlk said:

You make me fear what I have to look forward in future years!

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This probably gives you an idea of WHY I know the Michigan court system so well.

If it ever gets to court, have them spell out the terms VERY clearly.

Bloopy said:

Airport + 90 miles + 10:30pm ≠ CONTEMPT

Airport + 90 miles + 10:30pm + school night + Mom had return ticket 4 night before = Boob

I stand by my “legal” term for it

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BOOB -- haha! Yes, that's what it is. There are a lot of ppl guilty for being BOOBS!

Bloopy said:

Airport + 90 miles + 10:30pm ≠ CONTEMPT

Airport + 90 miles + 10:30pm + school night + Mom had return ticket 4 night before = Boob

I stand by my “legal” term for it

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Y'all just confirming what my heart knew, but really didn't want to hear.

Well, one thing for sure. I am NOT reimbursing him for the transportation cost BACK to Florida since I already had bought that ticket in JUNE and he chose to ignore it. And to think that he whined in court 3 weeks ago about having to buy tickets, and he buys EXTRA tickets. How do you send cheese across the internet?

Ginny J said:

Y'all just confirming what my heart knew, but really didn't want to hear.

Well, one thing for sure. I am NOT reimbursing him for the transportation cost BACK to Florida since I already had bought that ticket in JUNE and he chose to ignore it. And to think that he whined in court 3 weeks ago about having to buy tickets, and he buys EXTRA tickets. How do you send cheese across the internet?

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Good. He isn’t entitled to reimbursement since you did provide reasonable transportation.

I’m glad Southwest Airlines is letting you reapply the $$$ to another trip.

Perhaps Mickey can help you with the cheese