Custody

What is the name of your state? Louisiana

Our custody agreement is as followed: there are 2 children

Father (myself)- Tuesday (overnight), Thursday (overnight), Saturday(overnight), and Sunday til 6pm

Mother- Monday (overnight), Wednesday (overnight), Friday (Overnight) Sunday after 6pm.

It also states that the father claims one child and the mother another. Just recently, my ex wife went for Food Stamps, and claimed both children. When I went to go file, we (myself, my new wife, and the children (one from my new marriage, the the daughter from the old one).
I was denied because they told me that my ex claimed both children. Even though the custody arrangement says she is to only claim one.

Is there anything I can do? She is also giving her foodstamps to her mother, in exchange for "rent" for the kids, because she is homeless.

Also, my ex never has the kids on her time. She pawns them off on my mother and her mother, so she can go out. She is currently "dating" a drug dealer. (Not bad mouthing her, it is the truth).
When I asked my oldest (7) when the last time she saw her mother, she couldn't remember.
I am told that I shouldn't go after custody of my girls, even though my ex is posting online that she is homeless...etc. I am told that I will lose the custody battle, if I try. Because she "is the mother"

Is there anything I can do? I am helpless...

Do you pay child support? Who claims the children on taxes doesn't determine who can receive benefits for them. Technically the children reside with mom more. Do you both have joint legal and joint residential custody?

Also, who told you she will win because she is the "mother"? They were wrong.

Now lets go through the other stuff:

Is there anything I can do? She is also giving her foodstamps to her mother, in exchange for "rent" for the kids, because she is homeless.

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Report her and mom for illegally using foodstamps.

Also, my ex never has the kids on her time. She pawns them off on my mother and her mother, so she can go out. She is currently "dating" a drug dealer. (Not bad mouthing her, it is the truth).

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How do you know he is dealing drugs? Pawns them off? Explain exactly? Gets a babysitter and the babysitter is your mother and her mother?

When I asked my oldest (7) when the last time she saw her mother, she couldn't remember.

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That won't help.

I am told that I shouldn't go after custody of my girls, even though my ex is posting online that she is homeless...etc. I am told that I will lose the custody battle, if I try. Because she "is the mother"

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Print out her online posts where she is posting that she is homeless. Prove it is her and prove that she is homeless. Where do you drop the children off at?

Is there anything I can do? I am helpless...

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No you are not. YOu file for custody. You may not win. You already have joint custody or almost a 50/50 time share so there doesn't seem to be a substantial change in circumstance unless you can PROVE everything you are saying. Could you lose? Yes. But if you believe the situation is NOT good for the children, you shouldn't give up.

Ohiogal said:

Report her and mom for illegally using foodstamps.

.

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I don't like this advice. If she lives in the same home as her mother (which apparently she does based on what the OP said), then the foodstamps are feeding the mom and children, which is what they are supposed to do. Yes, apparently they are feeding the grandmother too....but advising a parent to get the other parent in trouble over that is a death knell to any viable co-parenting relationship, and just hurts the kids in the end.

I will echo what you said about "claiming" the children. Claiming the children for tax purposes has absolutely nothing to do with claiming them for welfare purposes.

Ohiogal said:

Do you pay child support? Who claims the children on taxes doesn't determine who can receive benefits for them. Technically the children reside with mom more. Do you both have joint legal and joint residential custody?

Also, who told you she will win because she is the "mother"? They were wrong.

Now lets go through the other stuff:



Report her and mom for illegally using foodstamps.


How do you know he is dealing drugs? Pawns them off? Explain exactly? Gets a babysitter and the babysitter is your mother and her mother?


That won't help.



Print out her online posts where she is posting that she is homeless. Prove it is her and prove that she is homeless. Where do you drop the children off at?



No you are not. YOu file for custody. You may not win. You already have joint custody or almost a 50/50 time share so there doesn't seem to be a substantial change in circumstance unless you can PROVE everything you are saying. Could you lose? Yes. But if you believe the situation is NOT good for the children, you shouldn't give up.

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I know he is selling drugs because I know the guy through friends and my job (I tattoo). He just recently spent time in jail. My ex's last boyfriend did 6 months for pot. And the guy before that is doing 10 years for coke. She has a rep with those type.

I drop my children off with her mother. Because that is where she says she is staying. She is never there for drop off, and when it is her turn to bring them to me, she is always late or calling me begging me to come get them from her mom, because she is "out".

When she needs a baby sitter to go out. (everynight...there are pictures with dates on them that show she is out partying and getting drunk on the nights she has them. Does that prove anything, or should I just forget that I have them? She posts everything on myspace) She will call my mother, and NOT me to baby sit. So, I usually never know where my kids are when she has them until the next day when my mother calls me and asks me where my ex is and who is supposed to have the kids.

No, I don't pay child support. We both agreed to that in the beginning. And yes, our custody papers say that we have both joint legal and joint residential. It was my lawyer that said the courts favor the mothers.. her words were "even if she is a druggie living on the street, it is going to be so hard, because the courts don't like to separate the children from the mother". Guess I should look for a different lawyer..huh?

amethystrain said:

I know he is selling drugs because I know the guy through friends and my job (I tattoo). He just recently spent time in jail. My ex's last boyfriend did 6 months for pot. And the guy before that is doing 10 years for coke. She has a rep with those type.

I drop my children off with her mother. Because that is where she says she is staying. She is never there for drop off, and when it is her turn to bring them to me, she is always late or calling me begging me to come get them from her mom, because she is "out".

When she needs a baby sitter to go out. (everynight...there are pictures with dates on them that show she is out partying and getting drunk on the nights she has them. Does that prove anything, or should I just forget that I have them? She posts everything on myspace) She will call my mother, and NOT me to baby sit. So, I usually never know where my kids are when she has them until the next day when my mother calls me and asks me where my ex is and who is supposed to have the kids.

No, I don't pay child support. We both agreed to that in the beginning. And yes, our custody papers say that we have both joint legal and joint residential. It was my lawyer that said the courts favor the mothers.. her words were "even if she is a druggie living on the street, it is going to be so hard, because the courts don't like to separate the children from the mother". Guess I should look for a different lawyer..huh?

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Not necessarily. Your lawyer knows the minds of the presiding judges in your parish far better than any of us do. Also, Louisiana state law is based on the Napoleonic Code, rather than English Common Law (as the majority of the other states are) so LA does tend to be a bit different than the rest of the country, in general.

Grandparents for example, really aren't legal strangers in LA, whereas they are in the rest of the country.

amethystrain said:

When she needs a baby sitter to go out. (everynight...there are pictures with dates on them that show she is out partying and getting drunk on the nights she has them. Does that prove anything, or should I just forget that I have them? She posts everything on myspace) She will call my mother, and NOT me to baby sit. So, I usually never know where my kids are when she has them until the next day when my mother calls me and asks me where my ex is and who is supposed to have the kids.

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I think the pictures on MySpace would help a lot, especially if there are dates on them. Weeknights when the kids are in school would look even worse.

If your mother is willing to testify, I think you would have a good case.

I have full custody of my two girls with my ex-wife. She is a drug abuser whose rights I just had terminated because she hasn't seen them in four years. I know your case isn't that bad, but my point is I live in Louisiana too and I was able to win full custody. Your parish may be different, but you still have a good shot. I would at least get a second opinion with another attorney before deciding you can't fight for full custody of your children. I've talked to other dads here who have been able to do the same, so the courts are changing. Your kids are obviously in a bad environment, so do however much you can. Good luck.