11 year old son babysitting 5 and 2 year old siblings home alone while mom works

[mndad42]

What is the name of your state? Minnesota

I have joint physical and legal custody. My son is 11. Our parenting time is every other week. My son told me that 2 days a week he is babysitting, at home alone, his 5 and 2 year old siblings all day while his mother is working 8+ hours. The closest relative is 15 minutes away and he does not know the neighbors (they live in the country). Minnesota does not have home alone laws, just guidelines, and nothing that states when a child can babysit. I feel like this is not safe for my son nor his siblings there, but do I have a leg to stand on? Having joint legal, am I able to have a say in this? My son freezes in stressful situations, and when asking him safety questions (what to do when child is choking, what to do if child is injured), he was unable to answer those correctly. Mom is high conflict so I know it won't be a matter of me relaying my concerns and her really listening, as she will tell me "her house her rules". I agree with that to a point, but want to know if legally I have a say in this matter.

Any advice for this would be appreciated.

 

[Zigner]

You could offer to watch the kids on the days she works...

 

[Zigner]

You had concerns in 2015 - you never took this to court back then?

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/joint-custody-and-school-transportation.616521/

 

[mndad42]

You could offer to watch the kids on the days she works...

I also work, though from home. And they are her children, not mine, she would never allow that. It's not a matter of her not affording daycare, she is a RN and her husband is a welder.

And 2015 really has nothing to do with my question now. I am asking if I legally have a leg to stand on since there are no laws for this in MN, only "guidelines".

Thank you.

 

[Zigner]

I also work, though from home. And they are her children, not mine, she would never allow that. It's not a matter of her not affording daycare, she is a RN and her husband is a welder.

And 2015 really has nothing to do with my question now. I am asking if I legally have a leg to stand on since there are no laws for this in MN, only "guidelines".

Thank you.

Did you or did you not get the child's "home alone" time resolved in the courts in 2015?

 

[mndad42]

Did you or did you not get the child's "home alone" time resolved in the courts in 2015?

In the state of MN, there are no laws regarding leaving a child home alone. Only guidelines. And the guidelines for an 8 year old are OK to leave home for a very limited time alone. But since you obviously are very interested in a 2015 issue, She would not admit to leaving son home alone at 7, and states he is mistaken. My attorney did not think it would be easy to take in front of a judge with no evidence besides a 7 year old's word. The bus issue was resolved with the school.

This issue is about my son being responsible for the safety and well-being of a 2 and 5 year old. There are no guidelines at all stating when it is OK for a child to start watching younger children. I am asking legally about this particular issue.

 

[Zigner]

Thank you for answering my question.
I would suggest that you speak with a local family-law attorney about this matter. Also, if you are truly concerned about the safety of the children, you may wish to contact the authorities. I would leave that as a "last resort" choice, though. If you think the ex is "high conflict" now, just wait until that occurs.

 

[stealth2]

I don't know what county in MN you/Mom live in, but here are guidelines from Olmsted Cty:
https://www.co.olmsted.mn.us/cs/Documents/CFS/HomeAloneBrochure.pdfAs you see, they consider it okay at your son's age if a parent/adult will return w/in 12 hours. Given your concerns, have you considered registering your son for babysitting classes?

 

[t74]

I would question whether an 11 yo could physically care for all of the needs of the 2 yo (diapering, bathing in case of an "accident", etc.)

Eleven is still a child and deserves to have that freedom.

 

[stealth2]

I would question whether an 11 yo could physically care for all of the needs of the 2 yo (diapering, bathing in case of an "accident", etc.)

Eleven is still a child and deserves to have that freedom.

However, two days a week every other week is hardly soul-crushing...

 

[t74]

Being responsible for a 2 yo all day certainly is for even an older CHILD. While the 11 might be able to handle a 5 yo for an extended period of time, I ( as having mothered 4 - 3 of whom were extremely responsible for their age) would prefer to see the 2 yo with an adult

 

[stealth2]

Being responsible for a 2 yo all day certainly is for even an older CHILD. While the 11 might be able to handle a 5 yo for an extended period of time, I ( as having mothered 4 - 3 of whom were extremely responsible for their age) would prefer to see the 2 yo with an adult

I may not disagree, but Mom is not currently going against any law or guideline. Dad really should consider a babysitting class. On his time, unless Mom agrees.

 

[t74]

There is what is legal and what is reasonable and they may not be the same. I would hate to see any of the children hurt in an accident. A full day with a toddler is challanging even for an adult who has chosen to be a parent. I would also expect that this may end up with the eldest babysitting in the even as well.

 

[cbg]

I realize this was two generations ago, but I was babysitting my siblings, who would have been 5, 6 and 7, when I was 11.

 

[Just Blue]

At twelve I was sitting for my niece (3) and nephew(1) for 40+ hours a week,(summer vaca)... I think back and wonder how they lived to adulthood. Pure luck I guess...