14yr old wanting to change living arrangements

[wombat72]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA

I have been divorced from my childrens father for almost 10 years. Over the course of those 10 years my son has been having issue and has anger issues. In the past when it got really bad I asked father to take him for a bit to see if he could help him in finding out what the core issue was, but father during those times would not allow me time to visit or even speak to child on the phone. So I always had him bring him back home to me or I would go get him. Last year I remarried and son and stepfather have troubles with each other, my dh tries but son just does not want to have anything to do with him. He has been abusive with my daughter at times, and also with me. He is now 14yrs old and is much taller and stronger than I am. We had an argument over his grades in school which escalated and he called father to come get him. His father took him, for what I thought was just a few days to see if he could find out why he was so angry. Well he took him to an attorney and had paper's drawn up exercising his right to live with dad. I do not have a problem with him exercising this right, but the father took him without notifying me to an attorney and had legal papers drawn up. In our divorce degree we have joint legal and I have sole physical custody. Was this legal for him to do this or was he supposed to notify me before he took this step? And he is having me served with the papers near Christmas which in my opinion was just another dig at me.

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA

I have been divorced from my childrens father for almost 10 years. Over the course of those 10 years my son has been having issue and has anger issues. In the past when it got really bad I asked father to take him for a bit to see if he could help him in finding out what the core issue was, but father during those times would not allow me time to visit or even speak to child on the phone. So I always had him bring him back home to me or I would go get him. Last year I remarried and son and stepfather have troubles with each other, my dh tries but son just does not want to have anything to do with him. He has been abusive with my daughter at times, and also with me. He is now 14yrs old and is much taller and stronger than I am. We had an argument over his grades in school which escalated and he called father to come get him. His father took him, for what I thought was just a few days to see if he could find out why he was so angry. Well he took him to an attorney and had paper's drawn up exercising his right to live with dad. I do not have a problem with him exercising this right, but the father took him without notifying me to an attorney and had legal papers drawn up. In our divorce degree we have joint legal and I have sole physical custody. Was this legal for him to do this or was he supposed to notify me before he took this step? And he is having me served with the papers near Christmas which in my opinion was just another dig at me.

While I don't agree with you that it's a "right" for the child to choose...if you're fine with it, why does it matter?

 

[wombat72]

I understand that at his age he has the right to choose, but the legality of the way his father went about doing it was wrong. We have joint legal custody of both our children and he did not consult with me before he choose to have legal paper's drawn up for our son. I also have concerns that he was forced into making this decision by his father and step-mother, who have for years been trying to get him to come live with them by bribing him with material things I can not give him. There is a lot more to this story. I have been for 2 years a stay at home mom, and I do so because my children have busy extracurricular activities that they enjoy and that they would like to continue. My husband works and I stay home by choice to take care of them, but in this situation the father is requesting child support that he knows I am not working. As far as that goes it is not about the money for me, but is for him. To prove this I have not taken him back to court in 10 years over child support knowing he has had a significant change in income. My main concern is the well being of my children. My son has as stated before anger issues and he has taken his anger out on me and his sister in the recent past, and in his father's home are 2 very small children, 1yr old and a 4mth old. I am also concerned for their safety. And can I add that he works in law enforcement and the court system in our town. He uses this to his advantage on many occasions to intimidate me.

 

[CJane]

GA statute no longer grants a child the exclusive right to choose where they live. However, it does grant the child significant input into where they live.

The problem, as I see it, is that 1) you totally misunderstand what legal custody means, and 2) you're angry over the WAY your ex went about this, but are ok with the actual change.

Are you just looking for something to fight about?

Correction, in your first post, you were ok with the change, now you think your child is a danger to everyone around him.

Why isn't he in counseling?

 

[Proserpina]

GA statute no longer grants a child the exclusive right to choose where they live. However, it does grant the child significant input into where they live.

The problem, as I see it, is that 1) you totally misunderstand what legal custody means, and 2) you're angry over the WAY your ex went about this, but are ok with the actual change.

Are you just looking for something to fight about?

Correction, in your first post, you were ok with the change, now you think your child is a danger to everyone around him.

Why isn't he in counseling?

Quite...so...OP?