15 yr old son

[msdragonfly]

What is the name of your state? California

My 15 yr old son wants to move out of the house. He says he will run away if I don't give him my permission. I refused to give permission! He is still at home but for how long I don't know. He is refusing to go to school also. He tells me even if I drive him to school, as soon as I leave he will cut school. Any options for me?

 

[tigger22472]

Sure, EVERY SINGLE TIME (and yes all caps were intentional) that he does not come home from school, go to school or is where you know where he's at you call or go to the police station and make a report. Sometimes it takes several before they will do more then simply bring him back under your care but maybe he won't need more then once. Show him YOU are the parent and that you won't play his game. If he doesn't learn his lesson after the first few times the police pick him up .. he will then likely have a court date and for starters start out on probation and be warned what happens which would eventually put him in a center.

Another option is to take him to your local juvenile probation officer and have the probation officer talk to him and tell him what his rights and options are. Sometimes the police will do the same thing. However, the most important thing is for YOU to follow through. And remember, if he doesn't go to school or he commits a crime you can get in trouble too.

 

[CdwJava]

Your son cannot leave or go anywhere without your permission. AND, if he does leave with your permission you still have to see that he is provided for.

If he runs away - report it to the police. If he refuses to go to school, pick his sorry butt up and drag it to school - sit with him in class if you have to (this can be sop embarassing that some kids straighten out after one day of mom or dad dogging them all over campus). Also check to see if your school has a School Resource Officer program - this can be useful in holding him on the straight and narrow. If he fails to go to school, he is committing a crime in CA ... Truancy. And he CAN be held accountable and eventually even do time in Juvenile Hall for the offense.

Your obligation is to do everything you can to see that he gets to school. If he cuts, as long as you do what you can, you are likely safe from any charges. But that might require regular contact with the school to check on his attendance a couple times per day, and contacting the police for any problems.

Carl

 

[DrewfromCA]

No legal advice, but my guess is that this trouble is more than just a normal kid deciding he doesn't feel like going to school one day, or that he hates home enough to leave...

Where is Mr. Dragonfly? Gone? Were you ever married? I assume you are a single mother, and by now you have probably been too strict or too easy on your son. I suggest some counseling, if you can afford it, and get to the root of the problem. Hauling his azz away to juvie is not the best way to deal with this, methinks.

Anyway, good luck with this one. Get someone to help you with this, it is obvious he has absolutely no fear of you, and that is not a good thing. Get some help!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I once saw in the local newspaper in the "Police Calls" that a mother had called the police to get her teenage son up to go to school, in a small town everyone talks, it gave the address not the name, never saw that again, maybe it worked?
Carl, I like that idea of following them at school!

 

[msdragonfly]

I just wanted to thank everyone for the information. I will give it a try! To answer DrewfromCa. I am married to my son's step-father. We have been together since son was 4. Now he (husband) and my son HATE each other. We (son and I) are going to counseling at this time but it doesn't seem to be helping. I work nights and husband works days so husband can't get away to go with us. Anyway I am working on that situation also. Again thank everyone for your replys.

 

[stealth2]

StepDad needs to find a way to get himself to counseling with the boy at least. Talk to the therapist and see if there's a way to stagger appointments so that one week you go during the day with the boy and the next StepDad goes in the evening. Since StepDad is the one who the boy spends a large amount of time with and the one who the boy seems to have a real problem with - they MUST be the ones to work on their problems.

 

[DrewfromCA]

ah... I understand now. Having a step-parent can be a difficult thing, especially at that age. Having had a step father myself at that age, I can relate. It is not easy to accept someone you know is not your "father". But my step father was an ok guy, and acted like a parent.
It may be difficult to get this worked out if they truly hate each other, but if your son hates your husband because the husband is trying to be a parent... i.e. setting rules, etc., then you may be ok. If your husband tries to do what a good parent would do, your son will see that with a little time and maturity under his belt.
If it is for some other reason, then perhaps you can all find a way to get to counseling. Your son is trying to get back at you by being a "slacker", but he will come to realize that he will only end up hurting himself. Good luck!! I hope all gets resolved...